I'm Not Okay (I Promise)
Hell
And here it goes…
I’m just a kid and life is a nightmare
I’m just a kid; I know that it’s not fair
Nobody cares cause I’m alone and the world is having more fun than me….
“Mikey, for fuck’s sake, get the fuck up!”
I feel a pillow repeatedly making contact with my head but I don’t care. I have no desire to get up. No matter how hard my brother tries he will never get me out of this bed.
Gerard commences yelling at me, “Wake up! Wake up! For Christ sake Mikey, get up!”
I simply pick up a pillow and hurl it at him. I know I’ve missed, even though my vision is shit without my glasses…I can hear glass break.
“Goddammit Mikey, you owe me a new coffee pot.”
I lift my head, laying eyes on a blurry figure that resembles my brother. He is over by his desk, cleaning up the shards of his beloved coffee pot. I sigh and feel around for my glasses, eventually finding them on my brother’s nightstand. I push my eyes on as Gerard turns around, pointing the little blue hand-held broom in my face. I just stare at him blankly.
“Mikey, get the fuck up…now!” he practically yells.
Groaning, I swing my legs over the edge of the bed, standing up once my feet make contact with the floor. I take a deep breath in through my nose, slowly letting it out through my mouth.
“Since when do you care about school?” I inquire, hoping not to piss Gerard off anymore this morning. The look he gives me lets me know I should have just kept my mouth shut.
My brother just looks at me, blinking a few times, “Just get your uniform on, we have to go.”
Gerard is already dresses, minus the jacket. I wonder if he ever sleeps. He picks up his navy blue, school issued blazer off the floor, and dusts it off before putting it on. He glares at me until I sigh, turn around and trudge out of the room.
I slump up the stairs, saying a quick hello to my mom before walking into my room. I ignore the mass pile of CDs and the various comic books that scatter my floor. Stepping over them, I pick up the pieces of my uniform that are lying about. I take off my pajama pants and t-shirt. Sliding on the stupid school uniform khaki pants, white collared shirt, red tie and blue blazer, I look at myself in the mirror on the back of my door. I sigh. Yup, this is me, Mikey Way, conforming to society.
Trying to fix my hair I eventually give up. It isn’t like anyone is going to pay attention to me anyway. I am new in high school. My brother is a senior and I’m a lowly freshman. Honestly, I don’t care much about school; I don’t think my brother does either. He just doesn’t want me to make the same mistakes he did…I understand that.
Sighing, I let my glasses slide further down my nose. I grab my MP3 player, jamming the ear buds into my ears, blasting Smashing Pumpkins.
I walk down the steps, waving goodbye to mom before going out to Gerard’s piece of shit car. He’s already waiting for me. The second I’m in and my seat belt is buckled, we’re off, racing down the street. Gerard obeys no traffic laws.
We literally fly down the street. As we pull into the parking lot I slide further down in my seat. I do not want to be here right now. I hate places with a lot of people. I get anxious really easily, the slightest amount of stress or pressure setting off an attack.
“Shit,” I groan as I touch my pocket, felling the absence of something very important.
Gerard looks over at me. Avoiding his gaze I put my MP3 player into my school bag.
“What,” my brother question parking right in the middle of two spots right next to a shiny black BMW. I can tell that he doesn’t really give a fuck.
“Forgot my inhaler,” I admit as we get out of the car, starting towards the school.
Gerard groans, his long, black hair blowing out behind him as we walk.
I sigh.
“Man, you’re supposed to have that with you at all times,” my older brother says, walking faster.
I try to keep up but after a while I just give up, letting him walk ahead of me. Why is he in such a hurry? Taking my time, I slowly make my way to class. I arrive late, and, as a result, get a classroom full of eyeballs staring at me. My heart skips a beat. I need my inhaler…now.
“Oh, you must be Mr. Way,” the teacher says in a voice that lets me know she hates me already.
Fuck. I nod.
“You’re late,” she says, her tone similar to one someone would use with a mental kid.
No shit. I just nod again, unable to form words.
“Find a seat then.”
For a third time I nod, taking a seat all the way in the back next to a girl with bright red hair that she has up in pigtails. Her blue eyes flick over to me for a second then return to her book. Thank God she’s not staring. Sliding down in my chair I do my best to melt into the background.
A few minutes into class I feel the eyes on me again. Looking over I see the red head staring at me with those large, blue, sympathetic eyes. For a few moments she rummages around in her bag, eventually pulling out a white inhaler with a few sharpie drawings on it, “I’ve got asthma too.”
I just nod, using her inhaler then handing it back.
“Amber, pay attention,” the teacher snaps.
The red head, Amber, rolls her eyes. ‘Bitch’ she mumbles under her breath still turned to look at me. When I don’t reply she returns to her book.
Even if I found one nice person school still sucks.
I’m just a kid and life is a nightmare
I’m just a kid; I know that it’s not fair
Nobody cares cause I’m alone and the world is having more fun than me….
“Mikey, for fuck’s sake, get the fuck up!”
I feel a pillow repeatedly making contact with my head but I don’t care. I have no desire to get up. No matter how hard my brother tries he will never get me out of this bed.
Gerard commences yelling at me, “Wake up! Wake up! For Christ sake Mikey, get up!”
I simply pick up a pillow and hurl it at him. I know I’ve missed, even though my vision is shit without my glasses…I can hear glass break.
“Goddammit Mikey, you owe me a new coffee pot.”
I lift my head, laying eyes on a blurry figure that resembles my brother. He is over by his desk, cleaning up the shards of his beloved coffee pot. I sigh and feel around for my glasses, eventually finding them on my brother’s nightstand. I push my eyes on as Gerard turns around, pointing the little blue hand-held broom in my face. I just stare at him blankly.
“Mikey, get the fuck up…now!” he practically yells.
Groaning, I swing my legs over the edge of the bed, standing up once my feet make contact with the floor. I take a deep breath in through my nose, slowly letting it out through my mouth.
“Since when do you care about school?” I inquire, hoping not to piss Gerard off anymore this morning. The look he gives me lets me know I should have just kept my mouth shut.
My brother just looks at me, blinking a few times, “Just get your uniform on, we have to go.”
Gerard is already dresses, minus the jacket. I wonder if he ever sleeps. He picks up his navy blue, school issued blazer off the floor, and dusts it off before putting it on. He glares at me until I sigh, turn around and trudge out of the room.
I slump up the stairs, saying a quick hello to my mom before walking into my room. I ignore the mass pile of CDs and the various comic books that scatter my floor. Stepping over them, I pick up the pieces of my uniform that are lying about. I take off my pajama pants and t-shirt. Sliding on the stupid school uniform khaki pants, white collared shirt, red tie and blue blazer, I look at myself in the mirror on the back of my door. I sigh. Yup, this is me, Mikey Way, conforming to society.
Trying to fix my hair I eventually give up. It isn’t like anyone is going to pay attention to me anyway. I am new in high school. My brother is a senior and I’m a lowly freshman. Honestly, I don’t care much about school; I don’t think my brother does either. He just doesn’t want me to make the same mistakes he did…I understand that.
Sighing, I let my glasses slide further down my nose. I grab my MP3 player, jamming the ear buds into my ears, blasting Smashing Pumpkins.
I walk down the steps, waving goodbye to mom before going out to Gerard’s piece of shit car. He’s already waiting for me. The second I’m in and my seat belt is buckled, we’re off, racing down the street. Gerard obeys no traffic laws.
We literally fly down the street. As we pull into the parking lot I slide further down in my seat. I do not want to be here right now. I hate places with a lot of people. I get anxious really easily, the slightest amount of stress or pressure setting off an attack.
“Shit,” I groan as I touch my pocket, felling the absence of something very important.
Gerard looks over at me. Avoiding his gaze I put my MP3 player into my school bag.
“What,” my brother question parking right in the middle of two spots right next to a shiny black BMW. I can tell that he doesn’t really give a fuck.
“Forgot my inhaler,” I admit as we get out of the car, starting towards the school.
Gerard groans, his long, black hair blowing out behind him as we walk.
I sigh.
“Man, you’re supposed to have that with you at all times,” my older brother says, walking faster.
I try to keep up but after a while I just give up, letting him walk ahead of me. Why is he in such a hurry? Taking my time, I slowly make my way to class. I arrive late, and, as a result, get a classroom full of eyeballs staring at me. My heart skips a beat. I need my inhaler…now.
“Oh, you must be Mr. Way,” the teacher says in a voice that lets me know she hates me already.
Fuck. I nod.
“You’re late,” she says, her tone similar to one someone would use with a mental kid.
No shit. I just nod again, unable to form words.
“Find a seat then.”
For a third time I nod, taking a seat all the way in the back next to a girl with bright red hair that she has up in pigtails. Her blue eyes flick over to me for a second then return to her book. Thank God she’s not staring. Sliding down in my chair I do my best to melt into the background.
A few minutes into class I feel the eyes on me again. Looking over I see the red head staring at me with those large, blue, sympathetic eyes. For a few moments she rummages around in her bag, eventually pulling out a white inhaler with a few sharpie drawings on it, “I’ve got asthma too.”
I just nod, using her inhaler then handing it back.
“Amber, pay attention,” the teacher snaps.
The red head, Amber, rolls her eyes. ‘Bitch’ she mumbles under her breath still turned to look at me. When I don’t reply she returns to her book.
Even if I found one nice person school still sucks.
@KidFromYesterday
Yay!!! Thank you, this story has been really great, as well as your others!!
10/2/16