He’s scared. He avoids me. Gerard was no longer smiling, he was like a dark cloud floating down the halls, turning attention on him-and not in a good way. I hear people talk, they speak ill of him. Some ask one another if he’s sick. Others ask if someone in his family died-little do they know I raped him just yesterday. Gerard doesn’t talk much anymore. He does keep an eye out though. I see him take glances over his shoulders to me .. what have I done? I scared him away and turned him into a rejection among his peers. I didn’t mean to rape him-I should apologize.

Mikey stared at his brother. He leaned against the locker next to mine, “I don’t know what’s wrong with him.” Mikey says, “He didn’t come out of his room last night.” He sighed, “He’s probably just going through a phase.” Mikey forced a smile, “I’ll see ya later, Frank.”

I nodded to him before he walked away. As always, I went to art class early. I spotted Gerard in his seat and walked up to him. I saw that he glanced, but he didn’t say anything. I bent down to meet his level, “Gerard, I didn’t mean to hurt you-I just wanted you so bad and I knew I couldn’t-” I paused. I touched his hand, “Don’t be upset.”

Gerard looked at our hands before muttering, “Monster.” I frowned at his comment before slowly moving my hand away. I leaned in and whispered in his ear, “I hope we can hang out again.” I saw his body cringe.

The period went by quickly. I was already heading home, walking. I stopped in my tracks when I noticed Mikey talking to someone-that someone being Nixon. I watched them and by their body language, it didn’t seem like a good or casual conversation. Nixon would move in closer, making Mikey move back. Mikey kept picking at his earlobe and his arm, signaling he was uncomfortable.

I called to Mikey, making him say a quick message to Nixon before jogging by my side. Nixon and I exchanged awkward glances before Mikey and I walked away. I said softly, “I didn’t know you knew Nixon ..”

“I don’t really. Remember when I mentioned that guy who kept staring at me during class? That was him. He’s kinda a creep .. he makes me feel uncomfortable.” Mikey looked away from me.

Okay now I’m fucking pissed.

On the way to Mikey’s house, I was wondering how I could warn Mikey about Nixon. Mikey is only 15. Nixon is my age, 17. All I wanted to was escape Nixon, and I luckily did. The thought of Mikey becoming his next victim upset me because Mikey is a nice guy-he doesn’t deserve what I went through. I muttered, “Does Nixon make you uncomfortable?”

“Yeah. Like, I’m bisexual but something about him creeps me out-he’s always looking at me and I’m really glad you called me over because he was getting aggressive.”

I looked at him, “Aggressive how?”

“He .. he kept trying to invite himself over to my place.” Mikey looked away, “D-don’t tell Gerard. I was being bullied in Summit before we moved here-me being bullied is exactly why we moved here.” Mikey glanced at me, “I hope Nixon doesn’t try anything .. but if he ever does, promise me you won’t tell Gerard .. I don’t want to move again. I’ll take care of it myself.”

Mikey is young and reckless. He’s an idiot.

Mikey entered inside his house and I followed close behind. We walked into his room. We both set our bags on the ground and kicked off our shoes. Mikey sat on the edge of his bed before digging his hand underneath the bed and taking out a 6-pack beer. He looked at me, “Do you want one?”

“Where do you get these from?” I asked as I grabbed a bottle.

“I get allowance money and I know someone who's of age to purchase it for me.” Mikey gave a small smile. He grabbed one for himself and grabbed another, gesturing it toward me, “Can you give this to my brother? I can tell he needs one.”

I grabbed it, “Sure.” I walked toward Gerard’s room and can hear his music blaring. I walked in and Gerard looked up at me. He didn’t say anything as I handed him the bottle. I stopped in front of him, watching him examine the bottle before setting it on his desk. He looked uncomfortable, taking glances at me. I sat on the edge of his bed, “Have you told anyone?”

Gerard slowly shook his head. He murmured, “I want to.” He moved close to me, “I helped you because I knew you were in trouble. I did you a favor-please, leave me alone for a return.”

My eyes scanned through his features. To his cute little nose and thin lips, to his bright hazel eyes and the dark shadow underneath his eyes. His skin was illuminated and soft. I leaned in and rested my head on his shoulder, feeling his body tremble. My voice muffled, “I could leave you alone. I really could. But I see something you don’t,” My hand grasped onto his, “I see us. You're afraid because you’ve never been with a man, that’s all.”

Gerard looked off in the distance, “So that’s it? There’s no getting through your head?”

I nuzzled my face against his shoulder, “You smell so good.”

Gerard was quiet for the remaining time I spent with him. He kept looking at nothing as I cuddled against him, embracing his touch and I even felt so comfortable to masturbate under the sheets. He didn’t react, he just laid there, letting it happen. I couldn’t blame him though .. how would you react to someone masturbating next to you? It’d be pretty odd but it felt way better for me. He wasn’t a picture. He was right next to me. Sure, he wasn’t naked or the one who was stroking my cock but just him being there made it better. Way better.

Notes

xo