I should have never been driving

I went home with Ray, Frank went to look for Gerard. he gets wasted and wonders off sometimes, but he always comes back. Always. I've covered for him enough. He used to go out most nights and get drunk, it wouldn't surprise me if he was drunk the night he killed Kayla. I was just about to ring his phone to see if he was with frank when Ray nudged me and shook his head, holding his phone to his ear "yeah, okay Frank.. see you soon." he mumbled and then put the phone down. "now, where were we?" Ray said sitting on top of me, straddling my thigh. I need to push Kayla from my head. I cant think about her anymore, its killing me.
I told Ray everything, I left out the bit where I blame Gerard for my former girlfriends death. He agreed to help me forget the pain. Not her, I would never forget about the girl I planned to marry.
"Mi--Mikey, where'd you..learn how to do th--that" Ray whispered, his breath heavy as I planted kisses on the nape of his neck. I hummed into the kisses, driving him crazy. "boy scouts" I retorted between kisses. He chuckled and tilted his head back a little further. I ran my hands up and down his back, underneath his shirt. He was warm... soft.
"I've never done anything like this before " Ray whispered, closing his eyes. "what? never done it?" I murmured looking up at him breaking the contact between my lips and his neck.
"oh, no... I've had sex, its just never been as gentle and sensual as this...this feels different. Good" he said slowly, putting his arms around my neck. I moved my leg up towards me, rocking it up and down, ever so gently against Ray's crotch.. he giggled and put his lips on mine, putting his tongue on my lower lip as if to ask for entrance. we deepened the kiss, his hands exploring my torso and his tongue exploring my mouth.
time lapse (45 minutes)
Grabbing his keys, me and Ray headed out the front door of his house, down the steps of his porch and to his car. "I need to stop at a Gas and sip somewhere first" Ray said as he opened the door to his car and got inside, me following soon after. "Thanks for offering to drive me home Ray.. I really appreciate it" I said leaning over and pushing his hair out the way to find a reddish, purple bruise.. " I really got you, didn't I?"... He laughed "The fro comes in handy sometimes"
By the time I got home it was dark, the curtains were drawn on the house so i guessed my parents went to bed early for work tomorrow. "Thanks for the ride" I said undoing my seat belt and leaning over for a quick kiss. "I guess I'll see you at school Monday morning" Ray said giving me a quick peck.
folding my arms I watched his car drive down the street. Once his car was out of view I headed up the porch steps and to the front door, putting the key in and turning it i gave the door a quick nudge because it gets jammed sometimes. I looked down the stairs that lead to Gee's room. The door was open and the light was off. "Gerard? you home?" I called... to no reply. Probably still at Frank's doing god knows what.
Going up to my room I close the door and ring his phone. After three rings I hear a muffled 'hello?' and giggling in the background. "Gerard? are you coming home tonight?" I said trying to ignore the back ground noise. "im not sure yet Mikey... I might stay another night. Will you cover for me?" I knew that was coming "okay. fine, but Gerard? no more drinking. I cant keep covering for your ass, mom and dad will eventually get suspicious. "okay Mikes, thanks... I owe you one" " like I haven't heard that before" I snorted. and with that the phone clicked and he was gone.
I know in some ways I hate him for what he did but I cant help but love him, he does try to look out for me.. He is trying to make it up... But he cant bring her back, no one can and that's why my hatred for him gets the better of me. That's what fucked me up. I told him to get her out first, I told him to save her, I was fine but she wasn't and it killed her because he didn't pull her from that SUV.
If he had just listened to me she would still be alive.She was everything and now shes gone.
I kicked off my converse and got under the covers. I was too tired to have a shower or change.
I closed my eyes and eventually I fell asleep.

Notes

Hello my lovely's
I'm sorry this update took so long, I've had writers block and stuff.
sory its kinda short,
I bet you weren't expecting that though. I really hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Y'all keep being y'all :)