I should have never been driving

The journey home was almost completely silent. Frank had questions. His mom was concerned and my brother is obviously mad at me, despite saying that he doesn’t blame me for what happened. “Gerard, I spoke with your mom earlier on the phone, she thinks it’s best that you take a few days off school until you’re healed” she said smiling in her rear view mirror at me. “Frank will bring your work to you after school so that you don’t fall behind”
I nodded and looked over at Frank who was looking out of the window, our hands intertwined and resting on the seat between us.
The car stopped in front of our driveway. “Thank you for everything Linda, I really enjoyed the weekend, minus the hospital part.” I said unplugging my seatbelt.
“No problem hun” she said with a smile, turning to look at me.
I stepped out of the car and put the strap of my bag over my shoulder “walk me to my door?” I said, looking in at Frank.
he unplugged his seatbelt and quickly got out of the car.
Mee walked in silence up to the last step of my porch
“Gerard, I’m sorry if I pushed you, I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable earlier” he said looking at his shoes.
“It’s okay” I said, planting a kiss on his forehead. “I’m pretty tired, I’ll see you soon okay?” I said giving him a hug.
He put his face into the crook of my neck “I’ll see you soon” he whispered, leaning up and placing a kiss on my lips.

I turned the the key and pushed the door open. “Mom Im home!” I yelled through the hallway. I heard my parents arguing a few rooms away “DONT BRING THE BOYS INTO THIS!” I heard my dad yell.
I don’t have the capacity to deal with their shit right now so I trudge down the stairs in the dark and stumble into my bedroom door, pushing it open.
I flipped the light switch and threw my bag on the bed.
I looked over to see my clothes flowing out of the draws of my dresser. I walked over to see that my bag from my draw was in the trash can. “Shit” I muttered to myself.
Mikey had obviously gone through my shit after he spoke with Frank on the phone.
“MIKEY!” I yell as loud as my lungs would let me. A few minutes later I heard Mikeys footsteps coming down the stairs. He stood in the doorway, only wearing pyjama pants.
“You’re back” he said, rubbing his eye and yawning.
“You went through my shit?” I asked in a pissed tone, making him wake up a little. “Gerard I...” He said nervously “what was I supposed to do? I got a phone call in the middle of the night to say that my brother was in an emergency room in Brooklyn somewhere and the guy who was with him didn’t know you were an addict... what if you overdosed and the doctors needed to know what you had taken” he said, his tone hardening
“You fucking know I’m clean Mikey. You didn’t have to fucking tell him!” I said kicking off my converse, my back to him so that he can’t see the tears in my eyes. “You had no right”
my voice was pitchy.
“You’re still buying Zanax! So don’t pretend to be all high and mighty. Don’t even bother lying.. Frank told me, He thought it was prescription” he snorted. I started to stuff my clothes back in my dresser “I’m not using” I said stubbornly.
“You wouldn’t let something like that slip, so what? You’re still mad at me? You hate me? Is that what it is? You blame me for..” before I could finish my sentence I felt two hands push me forward into the dresser, my ribs colliding with the draw handles “don’t fucking say it!” He hissed, spinning me around with his hands on my shoulders. “You don’t get to fucking say it” he spat, digging his thumbs into my collarbones. “Get. Your. Hands. Off. Me” I said sternly “I thought I was too hard on you, but the night of the accident you were high as a kite. You lost control of that fucking car because you were using so don’t you fucking dare blame that for your substance abuse. Don’t you fucking dare!” He hissed again, pushing me into the dresser.
I shoved him back “YOU HONESTLY THINK I’D PUT YOUR LIFE AT RISK?!” I yelled at him. ”I WAS FINE BEFORE THAT NIGHT. I WAS FINE BEFORE THAT AND NOW I CAN NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF FOR HURTING YOU LIKE THIS. FOR TAKING HER LIFE” I yelled, tears streaming down my cheeks.
He looked at me like I was crazy. “IM SORRY” I yelled. “IM SORRY I GOT YOU OUT FIRST. I SHOULD HAVE HELPED HER BUT I DIDNT AND I CAN NEVER CHANGE THAT” I wailed, collapsing into my dresser. He left the room without a word. I cried on the floor for what felt like hours before slipping under the covers and falling into a dark abyss
* alarm blaring*
I rolled over to slap the snooze button on my alarm clock and fell back asleep until it went off again.
It’s about time I had a shower and got into clean clothes.
I pulled jeans and a shirt out of one drawer and boxers and socks out of another.
I walked into my bathroom and turned on the light, looking at myself in the mirror I sighed .
I pulled my shirt over my head and put it in the laundry basket.
My eyes wandered down to the Faded bruises covering my torso.
I pulled the rest of my clothes off and turned the taps on
I pulled the towel off of the shelf in the corner and put it on the hook next to the tub. I stepped in and let the hot water wash away everything.
After I was dried and dressed I went upstairs to the kitchen where I saw my mom making pancakes. “Oh good, sweetie your up, how do you feel?” She asked, flipping one of the pancakes “fine” I muttered, pouring myself a cup of coffee and setting it on the table. “Mikey gone to school?” I asked, pulling one of the chairs out from under the kitchen table “he left awhile ago” she said looking at me take a sip of the hot black liquid in my cup.
We ate pancakes in silence “ honey, I’m sorry but I’ve got to get to work” she said, looking at her watch.
She left, the door slamming behind her. The house was quiet. Empty. My parents never really know what to say in situations like these and I’m not really jumping to tell them everything that’s happened. I sat at the kitchen table, pulling my smokes out of my pocket and lighting it up.

*text alert*
“you better be in today faggot”

I looked down at my phone and sighed. I’m not going to let that guy scare me off on the second week of starting this new school. I stubbed put my cigarette after a few long tokes and went back down to my room. I emerged a few minutes later with my backpack, shoes and painkillers. I put two pills on my tongue and swallowed them before pulling my phone out of my pocket to call Frank

*dial tones*

“hello?” Frank said quietly
”I’m coming in, meet me at the steps in 10 minutes” was all I said before I hung up and opened my front door. I sat in the doorway, putting my shoes on.
I stood up and closed the door behind me.
I approached the school gate a little while after. I walked up to the steps where Frank was waiting. “What the fuck are you doing Gerard?” He asked walking towards me. “If Jamie sees you again he’s going to kill you this time” he said shakily.
“No” was all I said. I grabbed his hand and walked into the building. I walked us to the door of our biology class room, knowing he was right inside. “Are you fucking crazy Gerard? He’s in there” Frank said trying to pull me away.
I pulled the door open and lightly shoved him inside before following him. “ so nice of you boys to join us” the teacher said looking up from his magazine before going straight back to it.
I kept my head up, trying to look as fearless as possible. Me and frank sat down at our station. I felt his eyes piercing through my back the minute I sat down. “Guys, the fags are back for some more” I heard a voice from the back say.
Me and frank sat there in silence and everyone else talked until the bell rang.
getting up from my seat I felt someone grab my hips and grind against me “ready for more?” I heard a husky voice whisper into my ear. I pulled myself away and turned to face him. “Don’t you ever fucking touch me” I hissed, throwing my backpack at Frank. I pushed Jamie back into his group of friends and spat in his face. “YOURE GOING TO REGRET THAT FAG” he yelled running towards me. I dodged him, feeling my back rack up with pain as I held on to the edge of a desk, “WHATS GOING ON?” The teacher yelled from the front of the class. I pulled him close to me by his shirt with all of the strength I had left, “I swear to god, if you come near me or Frank again I will publicly out you in front of all these so called Friends and get you expelled for assault, do you really want rape on your record? you think you can hurt me? Baby I’m already fucking dead” I whispered in a hard tone
“Fuck you Jamie” I spat. As I left the room, Frank following me.
A wave of adrenaline coursing through my veins. “Coming for a smoke?” I called behind me, holding out a cigarette for him to take, his cold fingers reached out and took it, I looked back at Frank, the cigarette now behind his ear until we get outside.
We weave through the croud of people in the hallway until we reached the front door. “I’m going home, you coming?”
“Gerard, what the fuck did you say to him?” Frank said, his breath hitched. “He looked fucking petrified when we left” he said breathing heavily from trying to catch up with me.
“Good. I hope the fear breaks him apart” I growled, a smile creeping onto my lips.
Heading down the steps and out the gate, Franks fingers intertwined with mine, I looked down at our hands and then up at him. “Let’s go back to my house and make out” I said squeezing his hand.

Notes

Hello my lovelies,
that’s the end of this story, it’s been two years in the making and it’s finally finished. Stay tuned for more stories that are coming up now that my writers block is gone.
Y’all keep being y’all:)