I can't take it anymore

Gerard's pov


life doesn't matter, nothing matters anymore, I want to die, I want to close my eyes and never open them again. Gerard sat in the tub holding a bloody razor blade, his last cut was pretty deep and was oozing blood. I could just kill my self right now, no one would care and no one could stop me. I took the blade and slowly cut deeper, I couldn't feel the pain anymore I felt numb and empty. My vision was getting blurry from the blood lost, i smiled down at my cuts and laught softly. This is how I will go sitting in the bath tub alone pitting my self, wow Gerard your pathetic, your worthless, nothing. I could feel the life being sucked out of me as i stated to fall asleep forever.
"He's very lucky to be alive." An unfamiliar voice said next to me, were was I, was I dead? I slowly opened my eyes, bright white lights almost blinded me so I waited for my eyes to adjust. "Were am I?" I ask with a weak voice, trying to look around but my neck was hurting to much to move. "Your in the hospital hunny, you almost died." A women said on the other side of the bed, I could see her looking at a computer screen. I laughed and nodded my head the women looked at me considered. "I wanted to die." I said trying to sit up but couldn't because I was strand to the bed. "Hey why the hell am I strapped to the bed!?" I ask angerly and try to get free, the heart monitor was beeping more faster. Four people ran into my room and pined me down so I would stop thrashing around. "Calm done sir your safe here, your gonna hurt yourself and open up your stiches." A man said calmly relaxing a little when k stopped and gave up. They all left besides that women who told me I almost died, she left and came back a minute later with Mikey. He ran to my side and hugged my tightly crying into my shoulder. "Hey Mikes, it's okay, I'm okay I promise." I say softly as Mikey stopped crying and crowded into bed with me, careful not to lay on my stiches up arms. Me and him feel asleep and woke up to a doctor shaking Mikey awake, Mikey reluctantly got up and sat in the chair next to my bed. "Mr.Way because of your suicide attempt you are going to have to go to therapy and you will be put on antidepressants." The doctor said and looked at me and then at Mikey, great therapy how fun. I was signed out of the hospital two days later and Mikey never left my side he would make me laugh and we would watch tv together. Therapy was okay the therapist want annoying he didn't force me to talk about my feeling. Mikey was always around me and would follow me to the bath room making sure I didn't lock the door. That whole summer vacation I only left the house three times, all three times was to go with Mikey to the comic book store and to the coffee shop. Mikey slept with me every night and his panic attaches were more getting worse after what happened. He would always make sure I eating and taking my medicine, I now had to take three different pills. The pills had a lot of side effects, I felt like shot most of the time, I slept twice as much and I lost a lot of weight even though I was eating normal amounts. Mikey's panic attaches made it to were he couldn't sleep unless someone else was next to him or or there was music playing. I was the only one that could help him with his panic attaches, I would hum or sing to him and he would calm down. Mikey would do anything for me and he know me better than anyone, he was my only friend. Mikey only had one other freind his name was Patrick Stump I think, he's only come over once but I was sleeping the whole time in my room.

Notes

Hope you liked it, the feels in this chapter are real :,)