When Will Anyone Notice?

I don’t want to go on this tour. Not because I hate my fans or because I want to leave the band. Infact, I love the fans and I would play in this band till the day I die. It’s because of this one person who’s always in my head, constantly reminding me that I can never be happy. Who is this person? Gerard Way, the lead singer of My Chemical Romance. It’s not even his fault, really. He doesn’t realize what he does to me, or how he makes me feel. I hope he never finds out about how he makes me feel because i’m a sad person, angry with the world; and he’s a happy cheerful person, seeing the beauty in anything he looks at. I’m glad that he’d like that though because he used to be an alcoholic not even three years ago. He’s come so far to be where he is at right now, and I wouldn’t be able to live with myself knowing I ruined that for him.
He wants me to be just as happy as he is, and I wish I could be. But like I said, the only thing that will make me happy at this point is me cuddled in his arms, him looking down at me with that beautiful smile of his. I know the guys are worried about me, especially Gerard, but I can’t just hide my feelings all the time. Oh believe me, I always try to but holding it in only makes things worse. The only thing that I have to hold in is my feelings about Gerard. I can’t tell a soul. That could just risk not only Gerard finding out, but the whole fucking fanbase. That wouldn’t go well, would it?
As I am thinking about all of this, i’m also packing all my clothes and necessities I need for the tour. I don’t pack many clothes because it’s just not really needed. We’ll be taking plenty of stops which will give me time to get more clothes if needed. Should I also say that I need to get to the tour bus in less than an hour, and even though I had weeks to prepare for this tour, I am just now getting ready for an almost year long tour. Procrastination; one of the many side affects to depression.
A year long. I have to be in a tour bus with Gerard for almost a fucking year. I just have to keep my mind on the music and tour itself. Haha, that’s not happening. I can’t even go a few minutes without thinking about Gerard. For example, just the other day I was ordering pizza and instead of saying a vegan pizza, I fucking said a “Gerard pizza”. The guy over the phone must’ve thought I was mental.
I finish packing earlier than I expected, and decide to just drive to where the tour bus is. I spend my final moments before I am faced with the beauty that is Gerard way, listening to Misfits. I put the volume up to the highest it can go, not caring if any other drivers or pedestrians can hear it. I do this for about twenty minutes, and before I know it, i’m at the empty parking lot where the bus is. The guys are already here, maybe I was running a little late. I see them all leaning against the bus, smoking cigarettes. I try to ignore Gerard, not in a mean way but in a way that makes me not want to crawl in a hole and die because that’s how I feel whenever I even glance at him.
I start getting all my duffle bags out of the car and into the bus. I hear footsteps coming towards me. I turn around and before I know it, Gerard has his arms wrapped around me in a hugging manner. I hug back of course, but i’m hugging more in a way that says “you are killing me and I need you so bad”, and he’s hugging me in a way that shows how someone missed their best friend. Very different.
He lets go of me and says “Here, lemme help you with your bags.” He picks up a duffel bag and brings it into the bus, with me right behind him carrying two more. I go back outside, shutting my trunk and making sure the car is locked and nothing of value is in there. Once that is done, I go back into the tour bus and decide to just go to sleep. It’s almost nine o’clock anyways and we all need as much rest as possible. I get out a blanket and pillow I brought with me and decide the the bottom bunk on the right side is mine. I climb in, making myself comfortable and soon, sleep takes over me.

I wake up to a shake on my shoulder. I flutter my eyes open and see Gerard kneeling next to me, “Frankie we gotta bunk. There’s only four bunks and everyone else took them.” Oh god dammit.
I groan and move over so there is space for Gerard. He lays down, his front side of his body facing towards me. He gives me a thankful smile and I offer him half of my blanket because it get’s cold on the bus during the night time and I don’t want him to get cold. Oh if only he knew how gorgeous I think he looks right now. Absolutely fucking stunning, inside and out. He’s helped save thousands of people’s lives, one of those being mine. Gerard is a hero, no doubt about it. Like he said, a hero is an ordinary person who makes themselves a extraordinary, and that’s exactly what he does.
As i’m thinking about this, not only does Gerard fall asleep, but I do once again.

Notes

Hey guys! This is my third fic on here so far! You should go read my other story "But I Love You" if you don't already. Yes, this is extremely short compared to how long my usual chapters are, but I can't start all the story drama just yet. I hope you like this!

Comment, rate, subscribe because I really want to know if I should keep writing this story or not.