Tell Me I'm A Bad, Bad Man

Y’know, prison really grows on you. Almost like fungus of sorts. The new guys are always hopeful when they get here, thinking they’re the shit because they’re in this shithole. Everyone becomes the master criminal genius when they get in here, but they soon realise that this place is full of rats. For instance, paedophiles don’t last long at all in here. I’d give it about at least a year of being in here, they all get stabbed in the showers or somehow end up dying in weird circumstances.
Yeah, sure, some of us in here are disgusting.
The guy in the cell across from me is a freaking neo-nazi, The fool has got a fucking swastika tattooed to his forehead and wears it as if it’s some badge of pride.
Kids like that don’t last very long either. Last month a guy in here had his fucking swastika burned off him with some piece of metal a couple of the guys found and got inventive with. A fair amount of us have good morals, we just get mixed up in bad things sometimes.

There’s a kid in here, about 19; he used to get picked on a shit ton at school. People would ignore him, make fun of him. Y’know, all that crappy shit teenagers do to eachother? The fucking sociopaths. Anyway, this kid got pretty tired of it after a while and I guess just fell off the bend.
He went to one of his neighbours houses where a teenage boy from his school lived. This kid had apparently been a complete asshole to him in school. Some real psychological bullying, proper fucking the kid up in the head.
So this kid walked round to their house while they were all sleeping and poured gasoline fucking everywhere, then just dropped a match and walked out. The cops found him an hour later in a fucking Wendy’s crying his eyes out.
Turns out the guy he was looking for hadn’t been in the house. His mom, dad, gran and little sister had been there though; the family dog too! Who fucking kills dogs for crying out loud? The kids gonna be in here a good while though. Kinda just sits on his own and no one tries to fuck with him. I respect that in a way I guess.

I notice the sound of heavy keys coming down the corridor. That’ll be them locking us in for the night. Officer Gates comes parading down the hallways every night and shuts us in with a smile on his face. As I always say, if you took away the fuckers keys he’d instantly become the most sickly sweet thing. He’s the biggest coward I’ve met, and this dump is riddled with them.
Except tonight it isn’t Gates; it’s baby boy. I smile at this and walk up to the bars.
“They let you lock up on your own tonight, huh?” I laugh. He chuckles under his breath and looks up at me through his thick black hair. God, I want to hear that laugh again.
“Yeah, Officer Gates thought I was ready to do it myself. I opposed but, well, I’m not much of a challenger when it comes to any kind of authority.”He smiles as he tucks a strand of his hair behind one of his ears.
“I noticed,” I giggle, “Anyway, Gates is a complete teddy bear. Trust me. I’ve been running circles around him for years.” I say, trying to make him feel better. What has happened to me? “So, kid. I’ve been wondering for a while now. What the hell is a gorgeous little boy like you doing in here?” He looks down at his feet and smiles before coming back to his thoughts and scrunching up his face a little. Something’s gotta be bothering him.
“Uh, I was on one of the trains going into the city on September eleventh. Saw the whole thing.. It just kinda changed my view on the world y’know? All of a sudden it was this dark place that I didn’t wanna be in anymore. I got bummed out about it for years and did some pretty stupid stuff. Anyway, I shook it off and wanted to make a difference. God, sorry I’m rambling.”
“No, no, don’t worry about it. I love hearing you talk. All that shit was sweet n’ all. But how are you planning on making a difference in a prison…?” I ask him. I mean, I get the whole 9/11 thing changing his life. I was in here when that happened, but it was on tv. It was fucking dark. I was sitting in the rec room when they showed the news.
They showed it a couple days after though because they didn’t want any of the guys in here to get too freaked out about it.

Bob had family in New York and spent the whole day in his cell after that writing letters. Some say they heard him crying but he’d kill anyone who dared to even mention it and I’m pretty sure he’d rather die than have anyone believe it. I don’t blame him really.
That shit freaked me out. I don’t got any family I gotta worry about anyway, so it didn’t hit me as hard as some of the other guys.
Some of them were scared for their kids and younger siblings. It hit everyone hard. This looming question of ‘Is this the world we live in? Is this how bad it’s gotten?” I’ll never forget that day, and neither will most of the guys here.
“I wanted to make sure people like that were put were they belonged. The justice system is so corrupt. I wanted to know that the people who do that stuff, all that stuff people are in here for, is actually going with punishment.” He says, shaking his head and playing with the set of keys in his hand. He suddenly looks up in realisation and shock. “Shit. I shouldn’t be talking to you. I’ve got locking up to do. Gate’s will kill me.” He panics as he locks my cell and moves on to the next one without even giving me time to react. He doesn’t even look back at me.

I walk back to my piece of shit cardboard bed and settle myself as down as comfortably as fucking possible in this place, which is never quite completely comfortable. I fall asleep to the vision of that face behind my eyelids and the sounds of that voice as I drift off.

Notes

Hey beans! We're starting to get somewhere after all! Updates are gonna be slower than usual at the moment because meanwhile everyone else in the education system in England is on half term, me and Candycxnt go to one of the only schools which is still in school at the moment so we wont be able to update as much as we wish we could and I have three fics running currently anyway.
As usual, love you all! Comments are sexy ;) Votes/rates whatever they are are also super appreciated! (candycxnt has been checking her goddam phone all day to see how this is doing so trust me you'll make her squeal in excitement.)

Songs while writing:
Ass Backwards- Mindless Self Indulgence
Falling In Love Will Kill You- Hunter Square ft. Gerard Way
Teddy Bear- Melanie Martinez
Setting Yourself Up For Sarcasm- Get Scared
Rape Me- Nirvana
Violet- Hole
Wring Me Out- Doll Skin