Tell Me I'm A Bad, Bad Man

I wake up to the feeling of the car beginning to stop as Mikey pulls into a motel. I look at my baby boy, who’s still fast asleep on my shoulder. He was so destroyed last night that even looking at his broken expression made me feel sick. But it’s all over now; it’s just me and him and no one can stop us. Not now, not ever because I’ll protect him from everything, just to never see him that way again.
“Baby boy, it’s time to get up. We’re at the motel” I whisper, placing gentle kisses all over his face as he wakes up with a groan. “Shhhh, baby. I’ve got you.” I coo as he begins to lift himself up, looking around at the surroundings. “How’re you feeling, baby?” I ask with caution, trying to read the signs of his face.
“I don’t wanna talk about it, not ever. Okay?” He says, suddenly serious.
Mikey turns round to look at Gerard, giving him a small smile before leaving the car to root around in the trunk.

“Here’s the money, look after it. It’ll run out soon if you spend it on stuff you don’t need. Just lay low until things calm down, they’ll be looking for you guys pretty hard for a while. I packed two cases of things you’re gonna need too, so don’t worry about that. Ray managed to make you both some fake ID’s too, but please, for your sake, try not to need to use them. And remember, Gerard.” He says, turning to look at his brother, putting both of his hands on Gerard’s shoulders. “I love you now, forever and always. Don’t forget that, okay? You always have been and always will be my big brother.”
I look at Gerard and see his eyes tearing up as he pulls his brother in for a hug.
“Thank you, Mikey. For everything.” I say, reaching out to shake his hand, which he accepts before climbing back into the car and driving away. We were officially in the real world.

I check us both into the motel, my hood up the entire time. I accept the keys with a quiet thank you as we walk to our room, hand in hand. It wasn’t much, but it beat a prison cell by far, any day. I’d finally get to sleep on an actual bed. An actual bed, with an actual mattress and actual pillows. It’d be a lie to say I wasn’t at least mildly excited.

Gerard just laid down on the bed and curled himself up into a ball. “We’ll be okay, baby. I promise.” I cooed, stroking his hair behind his ear as he just blinked slowly. The poor baby. There was nothing I wanted more than to be able to help him. But I knew that time was what he really needed. So I gave him a kiss on the forehead before walking across the room to see what Mikey had packed us. Opting for the smallest of the two suitcases first, I unzipped it and inspected its contents. There was a variety of different clothes, shoes and other items such as underwear and scarves, being as it was currently snowing in Jersey. Not that we planned on going outside. There was shampoo, conditioner, soap, and… hairdye?
Fuck! What a brilliant idea! I was loving Mikey more as the seconds went by. There were three bottles of bleach and two bottles of black hairdye, all in a small pack with scissors, razors and a brush. God, was that boy prepared. Inside the other suitcase were items such as food, drink and at least four small phones. I doubted they were going to be necessary but they were good to have just in case. We had enough to get by for a good amount of time. I locked the money Mikey had given us in the bedside drawer and put both suitcases under the window. We’d rented a room with a single king sized bed and a bathroom. It had a small tv, a microwave and a kettle. I knew baby boy was scared, hell I was terrified. But the pure happiness of being out of that place was enough to distract me.

I’d have to get readjusted to what life is actually like outside of prison. Not that this is what life is like for anyone, but it was as close I’d get for now. Me, Gerard and no one else. I was content.

Later that night I made both me and Gerard some tomato soup with bread. Gerard barely ate. I tried and tried. After finishing my meal, I took his spoon and began to feed him, but he just sat staring blankly, occasionally accepting a spoonful of soup. I began to grow worried. I need my baby back, I just need him healthy and okay because without him I can’t do this. And if that happens then I fear for the both of us.

“I love you, baby.” I whisper, climbing into bed next to him in just my boxers. I’d changed him into pyjamas and laid him back onto the bed. I’d never seen him like this and I couldn’t bear it.
“Talk to me, Gerard. Please, just talk to me, baby. It’s all gonna be okay, I promise you. I love you more than anything. Please.” I pleaded, stroking his hair out of his face as he laid there, expressionless. Tears began rolling down my face as I shook his arm, trying desperately to just get some kind of response from him, but to no avail. He just rolled onto his side, turning away from me. I don’t know what to do.
“I love you too, Frank.” He mumbles, barely audible in the silence of the room. I decide it’s best not to push him further and roll onto my side, happy to have gotten any response from him, regardless how small.
We were gonna be okay.

Notes

Hey beans!
I feel pretty rubbish about this chapter, as I've just been willing myself to upload all day. I'm super tired at the moment and felt like I was just writing but not really feeling it so this will probably get edited a small amount tomorrow evening when I should be able to focus properly.
Please bear with me for the moment and I promise this will get better! I love you all and hope you understand!
Also! (lil bit of shameless self promotion) I started another fic yesterday which I really enjoyed writing the first chapter of and I'd love it if you guys checked it out! It's called The Secrets We Keep and it's a serial killer au. I've got some good ideas for it and hope you guys will read it.

Songs While Writing:
Love Like War- All Time Low ft. Vic Fuentes
Our Lady Of Sorrows- My Chemical Romance
Fake Plastic Trees- Radiohead
Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High?- Arctic Monkeys
Go!- Plumtree
The Kids From Yesterday- My Chemical Romance