
I Wanna Sleep With Common People Like You
Common Coffee Shop Mistakes
I was looking off at the sunset the drunken thought living inside my brain and I felt myself drifting off. What was I doing? Where was I? I suddenly felt my eyes become weak and then everything was black.
Woke up the next day and found myself on the deck, the same place as yesterday evening.
"Great." I said out loud.
"A-HOY Boy!" I heard an old man's voice coming from behind me.
"Mmhph, wh-where am I?"
The man laughed at me when he stood right beside me, "Well son, you're at Mr. Plotnickoff's house. Specifically on his deck." The old man spoke.
I chuckled, "Umm, may I ask why I'm here?"
"Young man, you really must be hungover?"
"Hungover? You mean.." The man nodded, he didn't seem like a resident but more like a butler.
"Well, master told me that I should get rid of all the people on the garden especially the ones sleeping." Yup, knew it. He was definitely a butler.
"Umm, okay then. I guess I should get going." I stood up and all the blood went straight up my head. The pounding, aching, fuck not again.
"Young sir, while you're heading back I'd recommend sleep and medication. You know the regular 'how to cure a hangover'." He laughed and I smiled at him. I departed him and the house, maybe I should drink some coffee. That helps with most of my hangovers.
It didn't take much time to get to a nearby coffee shop. I looked at the sign, which had The Coffee Joint written in white, cursive writing. I walked in the shop and I was hit with the scent of coffee and a fragrance that I've never met before but it was for sure the best fucking scent. I found a nice and cozy spot for me to sit at. I looked around hoping for no one to recognize me, I'm not much of a morning person but the other people happen to be. I sit myself down and think of what to get, maybe just a normal cup of coffee will do. Nothing more.
"Hello sir. What may I help you with today?" A waitress greeted me with the normal nice-to-meet-you tone.
"Umm, may I just have coffee please?"
"Sure," She smiled and drove her pen across the notepad, "will that be all for you today?"
"Yes please."
"Alright, may I ask for your name?."
"Umm, it's Frank."
"Okay, thank you. Your order will be ready shortly." She then made her way to the next costumer. I sat at the table for another three minutes until I felt a soft stare creeping up my spine. I turn my head and look around, weird, I thought to myself. I look over heads and everywhere, I still felt a pair of eyes just seeping through me and I couldn't find them.
"One coffee for you, sir." I heard the same waitress' voice at a table two feet away from me.
I focused my eyes on my table again and nothing more. I dug in my coat pockets and tried to find something to fiddle with while I was waiting. I found a piece of paper and opened it, Here's my number: 567-3998, call me. -G. I read over the piece of paper and I couldn't recall who this 'G' was. I was confused and I couldn't remember. Fuck, why did I drink so much last night?
"Here you go sir. One coffee and two bread slices." A different waitress handed me a plate and a cup coffee.
I gave her a weird look, and said, "Umm, miss, I didn't order this. I only asked for a regular cup of coffee."
She didn't hear me at all and she walked away from my table. I remember she wrote down my name on the order form and I tried to look for who's name she wrote down. Gerard, was written on the paper and I looked around to see if there was anyone who had a single cup of coffee and seem to fit the name Gerard.
"Hmm." I got up and looked, I only saw two people. One was a girl who was talking to another girl. Gerard doesn't seem to fit her. I turned my head at the other person, I saw a male, flaming red hair, and he did fit the name. I walked over to the man and asked him, "Hi, is your name Gerard?" His head popped up and he looked at me.
"As a matter of fact it is, why is that? Wait is your name..." He quickly glances at his order form, "Frank?"
"Yes it is." I smiled and he smiled back.
"Well, I didn't touch the coffee yet because I was waiting for Frank to ask for his coffee."
"Oh, well I didn't touch your stuff either. It's sitting at my table still, you can umm get it, I guess." Wow Frank, you sure do know how to talk to people. Very professional.
"Oh, why don't I just join you? You seem pretty lonely over there." He chuckled and pointed at my seat.
I scratched the back of my head and smiled, "Oh really? Okay, then come and join me."
He chuckled, "Alright, but you gotta take back your coffee."
"Okay." I took my coffee and he got up and we made our way to my table.
"Wow, thanks for not touching it!" He smiled and I nodded.
"Well yeah, it's common sense, if it's not yours then don't touch it." Wait is that even common sense.
"You sure that's common sense?"
"No, I was actually going over that in my head. I obviously do not follow the 'think before you speak' thing."
"Yeah I can see that." He chuckled and I smiled. Why is it me just smiling? I don't know why but I'm getting annoyed by the fact that I'm just smiling.
"So, don't you think this is nice?"
"Having coffee shops messing up the order?"
"Yeah, I call it common coffee shop mistakes 'cause it's true. It's all common."
He laughed, "Sure, it's all common." He winked at me and I for sure thought this dude was fine as fuck.
Notes
Decided to do another story...where it seems all 'Normal' but it's actually where mythical creatures are really real and not a lot of people know and everything turns into a fantasy!
It's 1:00 am ...of course I'd want to write this
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-xo weenie
I love pulp
1/2/16