beep...beep...beep

i couldn't move my whole body was stiff. i should be dead, guess i failed at killing myself, for the third fucking time. stupid pills didn't work. i tryed opened my eyes. once i finally did everything was fuzzy and unfocused.

i woke up again my aunt was next to me. i think she was crying. i tried to raise my hand toward her, but i blacked out. i woke up for for the third time now it was dark now, i guess it was around 1 or 2. i had needles in my arms and i could see the lights of the machines. i looked around the room and back to my arm. i looked at them one last time, before yanking them out. before i blacked out i heard the machines going crazy

a song was playing someone was also singing.

son when u grow up will u be the savior of the broken

i was standing there looking on. the people marching on behind same black and red flote. everything about it was beautiful and i felt like it was calling me.

WHEN I WAS A YOUNG BOY MY FATHER TOOK ME INTO THE CITY

i started to walk towards them i wanted to join the parade.

sometimes i get the feeling she's watching over me

one of the marching skeleton stood in front of me, his outfit was petty and i wanted one like it. He grabbed my hand with his white bony fingers. patting my hand he said

“not yet honey, not yet”

i jolted awake. my hands had been tied down. i guess they saved me once again. oh joy.

i closed my eyes hoping to see that parade again just as someone came in.

“so how did she do it this time?” i could tell who that was. her voice was strong but soft like my mothers had been.

“Are u saying shes been in here befor?” i couldn't connect that voice probably someone new.

“yeah this has been her third time. i like her determination i'll give her that much.” this is why i liked her she always looked on the bright side.

“well she took some really strong pills. poor thing must be suffering a lot.” yeah i was suffering thats why i'm so determined and why i pulled those stupid needles out.

“bull shit she just doesn't know how to defend herself” i heard her get close and i got nervous. she was a really strange person. the first time i was here she did feel sorry till she talked to me and told me i was a baby for trying to run away from my problems rather than fixing them. the second time she had kissed me and..well it was weird for me since the last time anyone kissed me was the night my mom killed herself.

without opening my eyes i let out a small scream.

“cristal would u shut up?! i was just going to cheek the monitors”

“oh..um...hi to you too” i was not to blame she had done weird things for me to be jumpy around her.

“um do u want to take her to the thing? or shell i?”the nurse by the door spook.

“not that again they're all boring and pointless!” i know what she was talking about they wanted me to go to some suicidal conference.

“too bad you're going. it might be boring but u might learn something this time” sarah said as she was pulling at my sheets. Eventually i gave up and let her put me in a wheelchair. the ‘new’ nurse put a blanket over me and started to push me out the door and into the hull.

“so do u like boys?” i tried to look up at her not sure if i should answer or just ignore her.

“sorry i was just-”

“yeah i like boys. why” God i hope she was thinking on hitting on me. i really didn't care if she was lesbian but i would feel weird about it.

“well theres a cute boy here, don't know his story but thats about your age. would u like to meet him?” i didn't have any friends and y start now? but it would be mean to deny her this

“sure why not”

“oky i'll put you in the back and i'll go get him!” she sounded excited.

“ohh sorry but what's you're name?”its amazing how two people can have a conversation without know each others name.

“uh..i'm cristal”

“ohh what a pretty name!” yeah it was my mothers name as well this thought made me sad. my mom killed herself when i was barely ten.

“im sky” her voice brought me back to earth.

“pretty” was my only respond to her.

“here we are” she said as someone opened a door and she rolled me in.

“would you like to be put in the back?”

“please?”

“okay then. i'll go get the boy then” i saw her leave me and walk out the door. i was alone again but i would have rather been alone in my room then here.GOD i hoped my aunt hadn't gone looking through my stuff. if she did she would be shocked and assume a lot of things.

“cristal!” i jumped and looked up to see cristal rolling in a cute boy.

“frank this is cristal” his head had been down till this point. wow he was gorgeous. he looked like an angel

“hi” his voice was raspy and his lips were chapped. it made me sad just looking at him. i just smiled at him and looked away.

Notes

Comment and subscribe please :)