Kill All Your Friends

These three years had passed by in a flash. One moment, Gerard and Frank had kissed one final time in the record store before Gerard left for his future and the next, Frank was walking across the stage giving his own speech and accepting his diploma. Gerard and Frank had remained very good friends for first two years, but as time went past, they grew distant. Gerard became busier with his projects and Frank remained focused on his schoolwork to distract himself from how lonely he felt without his best friend. Eventually, all contact was lost. Although this bothered Frank deeply, he understood that Gerard was living his life and this was, after all, what he had wanted from day one. After the principal spoke the final words, setting it in stone that he was no longer in high school, he quickly left the field in search of his mother, John, and Helena.

"Congratulations, Frankie," he heard someone speak from behind him. He smiled as he turned around, quickly knowing who it was. There stood Gerard, the man who still had his heart after all these years. What caught him off guard was the woman standing next to him. She looked around Gerard’s age. Her black hair fell over her shoulders joining together in two separate ponytails, but her bright red lipstick is the first thing Frank found his eyes on, because he felt she wore it well. She was beautiful and his stomach twisted in knots, knowing who she was to the man of his dreams.

"Thanks, Gerard. I didn't know you were going to be in town," he answered, trying to steady his voice. He was scared to hear the words come from the older man himself, but he braced himself for what was to come. Gerard stepped forward and gave the graduate a hug. They had both grown taller, but Gerard still towered over Frank.

"I wouldn't miss your graduation. This is Lindsey, by the way. My fiancée," he explained as he gestured to the woman. She smiled brightly at him and also stepped forward, sticking her hand out. Even though Frank felt his heart breaking, he managed to smile and shake her hand without his eyes tearing up.

"It's nice to meet you," he said. He was thankful for how loud it was or the hurt in his voice might have sounded obvious.

"It's nice to meet you as well. I've heard so many great things about you from Gerard!" He smiled at her kind words and enthusiasm. He looked back to Gerard who seemed to have an apology in his eyes, but he smiled and shook his head at him, silently telling him he understood. He held no ill-will towards the older man. This was expected, after all. Gerard moved to a big city and went to an art school where he would meet many different people just like him. He was a happy person now and he became much brighter causing his personality to bloom more. He became more approachable; He was easy to love and even harder to hate.

"How have your parents and Helena been?" Gerard asked. The older male owed his life to the entire family for taking him in as one of their own and treating him no differently from their own blood.

"They're doing well. They should be looking for me, so I better get going," Frank answered, wanting to get as far away from the couple as possible. He gave Gerard one last smile and turned away just as his eyes watered and the tears fell. He couldn’t be upset with anyone, not even himself. This was meant to happen. They didn’t belong together. Gerard was too ready to take on the world, and Frank didn’t have a spot next to him. Their futures were too different; Gerard was going to be a great artist and, despite his grades being top notch, Frank’s future was undecided. It didn't take him long to find his parents and it didn’t take them long to find that something was wrong with their son.

"What's wrong, baby?" His mother asked as she wiped his tears away. Over his shoulder, she saw Gerard holding the hand of woman, but his eyes lingering on her son, something about them being full of love and something like regret.

"Nothing, mom. I'm just... happy that Gerard can finally stand on his own feet. He doesn't need me anymore," he told her. Linda was surprised; she was sure Gerard was going to wait for her son. She sighed softly, putting an arm around his shoulders and they walked away with him to their car. On the drive home, Frank leaned his head against the window watching the other cars pass the opposite way in a blur. His heart had already fallen to a billion little pieces inside his chest, but he had to go on. He knew, from day one, he could never be with Gerard. This was something he would just have to live with.

Later that night, Gerard called the younger male.

"Hello?" Frank answered. He was expecting the call, but he still found himself hesitating and his heart racing. He didn’t want this phone call to happen, but it needed to. It had to be done.

"Frank." Frank understood what he was saying.

"It's okay, Gerard, really," he assured him. When nothing but silence passed through the line. Frank knew that it was now or never. "Gerard, you're happy, aren't you?" He asked. His heart was pounding in his chest, and his throat felt tight. Like he wanted to puke. After a moment of silence, Gerard spoke.

"Yes." Frank lifted the phone away from his face and let out a silent sob.

"You can stand on your own now. You don't need me anymore," he said, voice strained.

"Don't say that!" Gerard spoke with no hesitation. Frank smiled at how Gerard still cared for him. He knew Gerard would always care about him just as he would care for Gerard. They had been through so much together and supported one another during troubled times. They would always have a special place in each other’s heart.

"We're going our separate ways. You're going to keep attending art school and I'm going to pass that bridge and see where it takes me. See what it is my dad wanted so badly," he spoke softly.

"I want to pass it with you, Frank," Gerard said as his voice began breaking, his throat burning from holding back his small sobs.

"Gerard, I'm not coming back. If you come with me, you'd be quitting art school, and leaving your fiancee."

"But I would still have you." Frank let his tears run freely at the words Gerard was speaking. He still loved Frank, but not enough to be with him forever, he knew now. He was getting married and he would start a family and grow to be an old man with a legacy for his kids and their kids to continue. He wasn’t meant to be with Gerard. They were meant to help each other when they’d needed it the most and then part ways, it was obvious now, Frank thought to himself. Eventually, he’d be content with that.

"I'm not going to let you do that. Because I love you, oh, so fucking much, I can't let you do that," Frank sobbed. No words were exchanged after that and together the two men cried on the phone until nothing but silence clouded their ears. Frank got up and walked over to his closet. After opening it up, he pulled his suitcase out along with a couple of duffel bags. For the remainder of the night while his entire family, including Gerard, slept, he packed all of his belongings. He tore a piece of paper from an old journal he'd used throughout his last school year, grabbed a pen, and began to write.

'Mom, John, and Helena,
I am sure you all knew this was coming. I have chosen to leave before I chickened out. I also didn't want goodbyes with any of you. I love you with all of my being. I'm not sure where I am going, but I can assure you that I will be fine. I'm going to do what dad couldn’t. I’ll write whenever I can. I'm sure you know that I will not come back until I've found the happiness that I have longed for.

Mom, you are the most amazing person. You've always been so understanding. You've always deserved more than what dad left you.

John, you have given my mom what she's always deserved. So, from the bottom of my heart, I love you, dad.

Helena, my beautiful sister, I love you. I know you will miss me as much as I will miss you. At least I hope so, but I know that you can take the world headstrong and knock it on its ass. After all, you have two kick ass parents. I only ask of you two things. First, hold mom whenever she cries, no questions asked. And two, please don't hate me for leaving. I promise one day, that I will find the courage to come back and I will tell you my story.

If Gerard happens to come around looking for me, tell him I'm glad he made it.

With all the love possible of a human being,
Your son,
Frank.’

Frank wiped the tears from his face and quickly put his jacket on. He slipped his shoes on and grabbed his things. He put his things in the trunk of the car he'd gotten himself last year and ran back up to his room. He grabbed the note and silently snuck into his parents room, smiling at how John snuggled into his mother, finding comfort and ease being close to her, just as he did himself . He looked at them one last time, burning the image into his mind, before putting the piece of paper, stained with tears, next to his mother's head on the pillow. He left their room and went into his sister’s. He leaned down and gave her forehead a kiss, trying to stop the feeling of guilt from creeping into him. This was something he had to do, he couldn’t turn back.

"Please don't hate your big brother," he whispered. He gave her one last look before leaving. He locked the door on his way out and slid into his car. He stared down at his phone, the line still connected with a sleeping Gerard. He took a deep breath.

"Goodbye, Gerard." He quickly hung up before he could stop himself and then took the battery out before tossing his phone onto the passenger’s seat. He’d get a new phone with a new number soon. He started the car up and backed out of the driveway. As he drove further and further away, he refrained from looking back at his home, fearing that if he did so, he would turn back. Frank turned his radio up and found it pleasantly fitting when the opening chords to Free Bird began through the speakers. His entire life, up until that point, replayed in his head. From when he was a little kid barely learning about the horrors of the world from watching the news, to finding his father’s body after coming home from school. He’d been excited to tell his dad that he scored the highest in the placement test, hoping it’d bring a smile to his father’s sorrowful face, but sometimes the world didn’t work that way. He remembered having to call the police and then wait at the station for his mother to come get him. For half an hour, he sat in a hard metal seat, staring into space and ignoring the questions the officers were asking him. He thought back to the time he’d met John and absolutely hated him inside his mind. He didn’t want anyone to replace his father, but eventually the other man grew on him. He remembered when they got married and then announced the new addition to the family. He thought about when he met Gerard, and then falling in love with him. He thought about becoming close with Ray and Bob. He’d miss that small unit of friends he’d had his freshman year. Ray and Bob were still touring last he heard, and they were happy; thinking about settling down and getting married.

He wondered what his mother was going to do when she woke up and found the letter, and almost caved and turned his phone back on. There were so many memories in that small device. All his messages with Gerard, all their pictures as friends and then as a couple, all the baby pictures of Helena, too. That’s when he decided that he’d keep the phone, just to look back at his sister and occasionally at Gerard. He was ready to do this; he was ready to leave everyone behind and search for the happiness he desired with all of his being. It was something he had to do alone, something he couldn’t allow anyone in his soon-to-be old life to interfere with. This was all about Frank Iero, the one person he’d been avoiding helping all his life.

When he got to the bridge, he slowed his car to a stop, thankful at the lack of traffic. Turning the volume as high as he could stand it, he stepped on the gas and whispered six freeing words to himself.

"I'm glad you made it, Frank." He let one last tear slip out and said goodbye to everyone in the town behind him. He smiled truer than he ever had as the wind blew through his hair and the sound of a nostalgic song played in the air around him. Yes, this is it, he thought as he got to the other side of the bridge, crossing into a land he never really thought he would get to.

Finally.

-END

Notes

I wrote this months ago when I realized how it was going to end. It was a bittersweet night. I hope you've all enjoyed this story and thank you for putting up with my throughout this story and for the 50 subscribers I've ended this with. I love you all. Thanks for sticking around.

If any of you have questions about this story (since a lot of things changed from the originally story line) comment or message me.

Much love
-OAIF <3