My Angel

I wish I wouldn't have came home. I was supposed to, but I wish I hadn't. Two words: total chaos. When I stepped inside with Brendon, fucking Phoebe was screaming at Mikey and beating him. She was pissed. Oh god, what happened? Pete must've said something about liking Mikey or something. God, I could only imagine. But when I looked around, no one else was there. Strange. I could've sworn that I invited at least Ray and Bob. But nope. No one except Phoebe and Mikey. And that wasn't pretty. Brendon's jaw dropped. Mine did, too. "What the hell is going on?" I shouted. I broke the two apart and Brendon held Phoebe's arms so she couldn't hit anyone. I helped Mikey up. "What happened, bro?" "Oh, Mikey here just told me that he's gay," Phoebe snarled. I shook my head at her, mostly in disbelief. "Don't believe me, huh? Ask your fucking brother, Gerard. Mikey, tell Gerard who you like way more than me!" I looked at Mikey and tilted my head. "You're gay?" I questioned. I kept looking at him, hoping Phoebe was lying. I mean, it doesn't matter to me, but I just wish he wasn't. "You can tell me, Mikey. I'll believe whatever you say. Just be honest, mmkay? I won't be mad. Promise." Mikey gulped. He looked me in the eyes and nodded. I sighed. Now, I just have to tell Pete that he's gay and Pete can make a move or something and then I won't have to be burdened with this damn secret anymore. Yay! I hate keeping other people's secrets. It's all drama and just really annoying. "Who is it that you like, Mikes?" I had the nerve to ask. It was risky, because Pete might hate me for yapping about his secrets if Mikey says it's Pete and I tell Mikey that Pete likes him. I can't help it. I need to get things off my chest. "And where the fuck did everyone go? I thought--" "They came," he interrupted. He shuffled his feet before looking up at me. "They left when Phoebe and I started arguing over whether or not you're gay. Phoebe said no, and I said yes. I most definetly said yes. 'Cause well, you are." My jaw dropped and my eyes widened. "You were talking about me possibly being gay?!" I screeched. I think I went all banshee on him or something. "How could you?! That's really personal, and I'm not--" "It's not a possibility, Gerard," Mikey interrupted again. "You most definitely are gay. No arguments are to be made about the fact. I can see it, Gerard. You love Frank very much and I can see it in your eyes every time you talk about him." I blushed. I was so stunned by the fact that Mikey could even tell. What if Frank could? What if he could see it, too? What if he liked me like I like him? Where would we end up? God, I was way over thinking things. I just needed to go before it got worse. I turned around to leave when I heard Mikey start to talk. "I like Pete." I spun around, wide-eyed. I stood there, staring at him, mouth agape. Holy fuck, I was right. I told you I knew things. I do know things. "And I wanna tell him," Mikey admitted. He blushed before walking to the door. He placed his hand on the doorknob and turned. "And I'm going to." *** Mikey's P.O.V. I really was eager to tell Pete just how much I cared for him. I didn't know how he felt about me, but I knew how I felt about him. I loved him with all my heart. I have since shortly we met one summer. Actually, that wasn't The Summer of Love. It was The Summer of Like. I liked him and that's when we became friends. The best of friends. But it all ended that Autumn, when Pete's family went back home. Pete didn't live here at the time. He actually moved back two summers ago. That's when I fell in love with him. I anxiously walked to Pete's house. I knew I was either about to screw up my life entirely, or make it ten times better. I know if I told Pete how I feel, and he didn't like me back, I'd be devastated and things would get... well, awkward. We'd probably stop being friends. But if I hold it all in, I will destroy myself. I would never tell him. I knew this was a now or never situation. Even if Pete did like me, I'd still get called a fag if our relationship was ever announced to the school or something. But, I'd take anything that was thrown at me for Pete's love. Absolutely anything. Before I knew it, I was at Pete's front door. I felt like I was battling myself over whether or not to tell him. I mean, I was already here now. This is what I came for. I found myself knocking desperately. "Hey, sweet little dude!" Pete exclaimed, answering the door. He pulled me into a hug, which I reciprocated, of course. And of course, I was blushing, too. "I am so sorry I wasn't able to make your party thing. Is that why you're here?" "No," I answered truthfully, shaking my head. "That's not why. Petey, I need to talk to you. Are you alone? Or is your mom home...?" "I'm alone," he confirmed. He smiled at me before inviting me inside. I took a seat, and I was chatting with him. "No one else besides you and me. Which I'm kind of glad for, actually. What's up, Mikeyway?" "Remember when we met again?" I asked softly. "Yes, I do. It was The Fourth of July... You and I were... You and I were fire- Fire... Fireworks. And that was the day that I..." Pete trailed off. The day that you what? Tell me!! "Pete," I whispered. I was taking a risk. This was a leap of faith, but I decided to say it. I took Pete by the hands and looked him in the eyes. "I- I... Um... I--" "That was the day that I realized that I was in love with you," Pete interrupted. Holy shit. Pete is in love with me? Really? I... "I love you," I thought aloud. And before I knew it, Pete's lips were on mine. And we were kissing. We were kissing like nothing else mattered in the world. *** Gerard's P.O.V. I still had to figure out what to get for Frank for his birthday in a few weeks. I went out everywhere looking for something he would like, but I found nothing. It made me so upset that I couldn't find anything, but luckily, I still had a few weeks left before I needed to get something. When Mikey came home the day before yesterday, he looked so happy. He told me that he and Pete kissed. I congratulated him. He was so brave to talk to Pete about his feelings. Unlike me. I couldn't even think about what I felt for Frank without blushing. And I was actually somewhat happy for awhile; just hanging out with Frank and Brendon, talking about love with Mikey, and not getting hit by Bert everyday. Part of me still wonders what happened with Lindsey. But as long as I had Frank, I had potential happiness. But all my potential happiness faded away when I received a phone call. My grandma died. My grandma taught me art. She taught me music. She loved me with all her heart and now she's gone. Tobias didn't like her, so we weren't ever allowed to see her. And part of me felt like dying. Because my grandma was special and she's gone now. She even taught me how to sing. I don't sing in front of anyone, but I can sing. The funeral was yesterday. When I arrived, I was wearing all black, except I had a red tie. Like my grandma requested, I was going to sing. I was really nervous, but I got over it for her. I got up there and I sang a song I had written about her. Long ago, just like the hearse you die to get in again We are so far from you Burning on, just like the match you strike to incinerate The lives of everyone you know And what's the worst you take From every heart you break? And like the blade you stain Well, I've been holding on tonight What's the worst that I can say? Things are better if I stay So long and goodnight So long and goodnight Came a time when every star falls Brought you to tears again We are the very hurt you sold And what's the worst you take From every heart you break? And like the blade you stain Well, I've been holding on tonight What's the worst that I can say? Things are better if I stay So long and goodnight So long and goodnight And if you carry on this way Things are better if I stay So long and goodnight So long and goodnight Can you hear me? Are you near me? Can we pretend to leave and then We'll meet again When both our cars collide What's the worst that I can say? Things are better if I stay So long and goodnight So long and goodnight And if you carry on this way Things are better if I stay So long and goodnight So long and goodnight. So long and goodnight is what my grandma wanted on her grave. I called the song 'Helena' because my grandma's name was Elena and everyone called her Helen. So now, I was sitting here all alone. The funeral crushed me and I didn't have to go to school today. When Frank got out of school, he came over to check on me. I knew he was worried, so that means Mikey must've told Pete about the funeral, who probably told Patrick and then Patrick, being Frank's friend, too, must've told him. "Patrick told me your grandma died," he admitted softly. He looked into my sad eyes and wiped away tears I didn't even know were falling out of my eyes. He hugged me tight. "I'm so sorry, Gerard. But don't worry. You'll see her again. Goodbyes aren't forever, trust me, okay? Whether you say, 'goodbye', 'farewell', or 'so long'. You'll meet again. I promise." His word were comforting and so was his hug. I let myself sob into his shoulder. We just sat like that for awhile. He laid on the couch with me on my side, in between his legs, my head resting on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. It was so comfortable. We both ended up falling asleep. *** Two days passed and I went to school finally. Frank had told me that he became friends with Jimmy Urine, who was Lindsey's friend as well. I need to find him and ask him what's wrong with Lindsey. When I walked in, I was hugged immediately. I looked at who was hugging me. It was Lindsey Ballato. "Let's talk," she whispered. She lead me to the bathroom where we could talk in private. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. She looked up at me. There were tears forming in her eyes. "I was being a total bitch. But Bert told me to stop being friends with you or else he'd kill you. So I had no choice." I nodded. We talked a bit more before I walked out of the bathroom. I saw Bert pinning Frank against the wall. I instantly became extremely pissed off. I wished I would've walked away but no. Frank was my angel and I couldn't leave him like that. I'd fucking hate myself. I lunged at Bert with extreme force and punched him in the face. Tsk, tsk, tsk, Gerard, you fucked with the wrong person. Lindsey tried to stop me, but I wouldn't let her. John pulled my hair until he got me off of Bert. Steve grabbed my arms and then Bert walked up to me. He looked so fucking evil with the way he smiled. It was creepy. It sent chills down my spine. Jimmy, Brendon, Ryan and Patrick just stared. Then they ran in the direction of Cholly's office. Brendon... He is cool with me. I don't hate him now. Him and Ryan are very happy and I am happy for him. I just hate what his brother does to him. That's why he hides his relationship. He has no choice but to obey John and I fucking hate that. Patrick Stump was cool too. He's another one of Mikey's friends. But then he was expelled and transferred so yeah. He kept asking about Mikey and came to see him a lot. He's Brendon's friend, too. Patrick and Hayley are doing good as well. Jimmy Urine... Jimmy was cool as well. Him and Lindsey are close. He was close with Steve, but then Bert got into his head and then Jimmy distanced himself from Steve. But they still talk every now and then from what I hear. I knew him a little. Ryan Ross... I don't know what to say about him. I don't really know him all that well. But I do know that he's good to Brendon. And he's cool in my eyes. Brendon deserves a good guy like Ryan, and he got him. And why he was here at our school was still very unclear to me. "Get out of here," I yelled to Frank. He shook his head. "No! I'm not leaving you, Gee!" He argued immediately. I understood that he wanted to help, but he wasn't gonna be much help at all. "Go!" I yelled and he ran off in the direction the other had. I was kind of glad he didn't have to see me die this way. I couldn't live with myself if Bert hurt him. But now he wasn't gonna. He was gonna hurt me and I was most definitely going to die. Bert laughed. "Oh, is that your boyfriend now?" He mocked. I rolled my eyes. Bert is really an idiot. He doesn't know anything other than picking on people for being or looking gay. Actually, he just did that to almost everyone of us that he didn't like. There was a lot of kids he liked here. I was not one of them. "I'm not gay." That's a lie. I'm totally gay. I'll deny it, but honestly, I'm so fucking gay. Yet, I still got a thing for Lindsey. "Sure you aren't, faggot. You just wear makeup for no reason then? You're okay with looking like a faggot? If you're are, get used to being picked on by girls, Way. You're not a real fucking man. You're not even a boy, are you? Is that why you wear makeup, Way? You wanna be a fucking girl? That is, if you're not one already." "Fuck you," I spat in his face. Bad idea. Bert punched me in the face several times. My nose started to bleed and my vision went blurry. As I started to lose consciousness, I heard loud footsteps approaching. "Bert McCracken! John Urie! Steve Righ!" They let go of me and I fell to my knees. I looked up and saw Frank with Cholly. I was never so happy to see her. I spat out some blood and felt a wave of nausea cross my stomach. "Boys! My office, now!" She yelled. They ran to her office, and she looked at me with her eyes full of concern. "Are you okay, Gerard?" I nodded weakly and stood up. I almost fell over, but Frank grabbed my arm and helped me stand for a moment. He handed me a napkin to stop the bleeding. I pressed it to my face and god, it fucking hurt so bad, tears almost were about to start freely falling from my blackened eyes. All of the kids starting piling in. And Lindsey ran straight over from where she was watching by the bathroom. Mr. Williams came over, too when he showed up with the other students. "Is he okay?" Lindsey asked worriedly. Frank shot her a dirty look, but I smiled and nodded. "I must talk with Bert tonight," she whispered softly. "I'm sorry, Gerard. I really am." When class was over, I went straight to lunch and sat by myself. Everyone was chatting away while I thought about how I was going to explain this to my mother. I was in so much pain and I didn't know what I would tell her. *** Mom was pissed off. I could tell by the way she looked. Luckily, she didn't yell because I had brought Frank home for the first time and she was trying to remain calm because this was the first time in forever that I brought a friend home. As soon as I stepped in the door, the first thing she said was, "My god, Gerard, what the fuck happened to you?!" Frank looked guilty when she said that, but didn't say a word. I introduced Frank to Mikey and Mikey didn't seem too enthused at first, but then they were joking around with each other. Eventually, Mikey went to his own room with Pete. I can only fathom what they're doing in there. Frank and I were talking about comic books and music for hours. Eventually, Frank's mom called and demanded he got home straightaway so he could eat. He tried convincing her that we were gonna let him eat with us if he wanted, but she told him no and that his father was coming to get him. When he showed up, Frank sighed and gave me a hug. "Bye," he groaned disappointedly. He looked up at me and half smiled. "I will see you in school tomorrow, right? Promise me." "I promise," I laughed. He hugged me again, and it felt like he didn't wanna let go. I sure didn't. "Alright, bye again." "Bye," I replied. "You can come back soon, okay?" "Mmkay," he nodded. I watched as he walked out the door, more disappointed than I think I've ever seen him. I just wanted to hold him in my arms and tell him he could live with me or whatever. Then he left. I felt Tobias slam me up against the wall. I looked at him with a raging fury in my eyes as mom tried to get him to let me go. He pushed her down without taking his eyes off of me. What was he so fucking angry about? Oh yeah, it's Tobias, duh. He's ALWAYS mad. Then he yelled at me with every bit of anger he had. "Are you fucking gay, you bitch?!" I flinched. "N-no," I lied. I was terrified of him. He's a homophobic asshole and he's not afraid to let the world know. "Well, you better not be, bitch!" He yelled. "If I EVER find out you are a faggot, I will make you leave this house and you will never come back. Do you understand me, bitch?!" I nodded quickly. "Tobias, stop!" mom shouted. She looked at me with apologetic guilty eyes. I looked away. "No, Donna, he will be gone if he is a fucking fag!" "Just because he has a friend that's a boy, doesn't mean he's homosexual!" "Men shouldn't hug other men outside the family, Donna! If you do, you're a faggot!" "How stupid. Your family was stupid for teaching you that," she sniffed, talking calmly this time. This wasn't gonna end well, and I knew it all too well. "What?!" He went to take a swing at her but I grabbed him by the arm. "Let go, faggot!" He yelled, then pushed me into the wall. "Get the fuck out of my house, now!" He slapped me hard. He punched me in the nose and I struggled to stay standing. My nose was pouring out blood. "Tobias!!" Mom screamed. I just stood there. I looked behind Mom and there was Mikey and Pete. Mikey was crying and Pete was trying to calm him. I wanted to run over to him and tell him that everything was gonna be okay, but I couldn't. Not now. "No! He needs to be taught respect!" And with that, he practically tossed me outside and locked the door. I could still hear them shouting and then the sound of someone being slapped. Then the sound of my mom softly crying. I wish I could've helped her, but I was too weak and the door was locked. I at least wished I could've gotten Mikey out of there. He didn't need this shit. I didn't even have a phone to call the cops on Tobias' ass. I felt helpless. It was so fucking cold... I waited outside the door for awhile, waiting for them to calm down before I started walking to Frank's house. When I got there, I began throwing rocks at Frank's window till he looked out and saw me. He opened the window quietly. "Gerard? What are you doing here?" He whispered. He looked down at me with worry. "I just left you. Are you okay? God, your face! What happened?!" "Tobias and I got into it and he threw me out," I explained. I touched my bloody nose and winced. I grabbed my shirt and pulled it to my face to stop the bleeding. I shivered when the wind blew, because it was October and I had only a thin T-shirt on. "Shit. You can come on in. It's cold out there. Climb the tree." He instructed. I climbed up and into Frank's room. He laid down and looked up at me. "I was actually about to go to bed," he admitted. "I mean... Look, I don't mean to make you uncomfortable by saying this, but you can lay with me and go to sleep here for the night, if you want." My heart almost skipped a beat when he said that. I cared a lot about Frank... And I had a crush on him. I can't lie. I nodded and laid down next to him. He shut off the lamp and we laid in darkness. Frank made me calm down and then suddenly, I felt myself drifting off into a peaceful sleep. Frank rested his hand on my hip and I jerked awake. My heart was pounding so hard that I couldn't think straight. After a couple of minutes, he turned over and his hand came off of my hip. Then I started to calm down. Eventually, I fell asleep. I stayed asleep the entire night. Something about Frank made me comfortable. His calmness and him being beside me made me have the most peaceful sleep. I hadn't slept peacefully in about four years. It felt good. Frank's cell phone rang and my eyes snapped open. He answered the phone. "Hello?" "Frank?" "Oh hey, Lindsey." My heart skipped a beat when I heard her name. "What's up?" "Frank, is Gerard there with you? He won't pick up the phone and I've been calling him for awhile now." "Actually, yes. He is. Would you like to speak to him?" Me? She wants to talk to me?? Oh god... "If you don't mind," she giggled. "Here, Gee. It's for you," he sighed. He held out the phone to me. My heart started pounding out of my chest. I took the phone from Frank and began to answer but then I paused. "Go on," Frank encouraged me. He's so fucking nice to me and I love- I LIKE him. God, and BJ isn't right for him. BJ is a douchebag. A big one. "H-hello?" I said nervously. What might she want to talk to me about? A million thoughts ran through my head. God, I was so nervous. "Gerard, I need to ask you something." "Hi, Lyn... You can ask me anything." "Well," she sighed, "I broke up with Bert last night." "I'm sorry," I lied, trying not to sound happy. "I'm not. He was a jerk. He deserved it. Especially after everything he did you and Frank and... me." "Oh...yeah. He did. So you wanted to ask me something...?" "Yeah... I wanted to know if you wanted to go out on a date with me tonight." Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my fucking god. "Yeah... Sure... Why not?" "Cool... Bye, Gerard." "Bye," I said all dreamily. And she hung up. I stared off into space with a stupid look on my face. Frank notice and laughed at me. I turned to look at him, still smiling. "What?" He giggled. "What did she want, lover boy?" "She broke up with Bert and wanted to know if I would be interested in going on a date with her tonight," I beamed. Lindsey fucking Ballato asks ME, Gerard Way, out of a million kids, on a date. I felt like the luckiest motherfucker on the damn planet. "Oh..." He mumbled. He looked away from me. I touched his arm, not understanding what was possibly going through his head. "What's wrong?" I pressed. I was determined to know why he looked upset. Was he jealous...? "Nothing, Gee," he smiled. I remain unconvinced. Very, VERY unconvinced. You can't fool me, Frank Iero, my angel. *** Frank and his mom took me out so I could buy something to wear since I couldn't go home to get something yet. Frank's mom styled my hair and everything. I looked like a gentleman. Frank made sure he got pictures to give to my mom because this was my first date. I never even kissed anyone before. Never had sex. So it was a big deal to make sure she got the pictures so she didn't get mad. Linda, Frank's mom, would make sure she got them. They were friends. I was really nervous. I texted Mikey and told him about mine and Lindsey's conversation. He replied with, 'Oh my god, you're okay?! I've been so worried. Mom has been too. When are you coming home? Mom talked to Tobias and he said you could come back. Please come home, Gee. And that's awesome about you and Lyn. What do you think will happen?' 'I'm not sure... I'm really nervous. And I may or may not stay here another night, Mikester. I'm still mad at that asshole. And yes, I'm okay. :) Tell mom not to worry, 'kay? Don't tell her about the date though. Not yet. And you don't have to worry either. I'm fine. I slept really good last night. But I promise I will be home tomorrow for sure, 'kay?' I replied. 'I guess... Just please come home soon. I miss you already.' 'I will. Promise. I miss you too. Love you.' 'Love you, Gee. Don't forget, Pete and I wanna know the details ASAP.' 'LOL, okay.' ' :) ' I had a half an hour before I had to leave to meet Lindsey. I couldn't believe this was happening. I swear, I must've been dreaming. Frank acted funny all day, though. I asked him what was wrong and he said 'nothing' every time and smiled. This went on for most of the day. I didn't know what to do after I met with Lindsey. I wanted to make a move on her and hopefully then she'd become my girlfriend. But the only problem was, I was an inexperienced kisser. Never done it before. Well, family doesn't count. I didn't know if anyone could help me that I trusted. And... Frank seemed to be the only option. I mean, we were friends, best friends, and I could trust him with my life, but... This would be awkward. But I was so fucking desperate. I decided to ask him anyway, since he had experience... Well, with guys, anyway. "Frank," I sighed, sitting down on his bed beside him. "I-I need to ask an embarrassing favor." I was really, really scared that he would say no, but I was also terrified that he'd say yes. I really liked Frank, and I respected that he had a boyfriend, but I really needed his help more than ever. Even if it means that I decide for sure that Frank is the only one that I want. "What?" He asked softly. He was so beautiful. And I really just wanted to kiss him so bad. But if I did, he'd be mad for sure. "Go ahead, ask." I sighed. I could've just tried to figure it out on my own, but I didn't want Lindsey to laugh at me for being inexperienced. I definitely decided I should go ahead and ask him. "W-would you... Um... Would you be okay with...uh, could you show me how to... Um... How to make a move on Lindsey? L-like... how to kiss her?" I asked, blushing from embarrassment. I looked away, in fear for both answers he could provide. I didn't want him to say yes or no. I didn't know what I wanted. "Oh," he blushed. He looked at me with those beautiful hazel eyes of his. "Oh, sure. Of course. I'm your friend after all, and I owe you for saving me." "Oh, okay..." I said nervously. I gulped. Now it was just the kiss I feared. If I liked it, then... Oh god... I'd be screwed. If I didn't, then there's always a Lindsey Ballato that wants me to date her. "Come closer and face me directly," he instructed. I did as he told me and moved closer to him and faced him. "Now, let's pretend I'm you, and you're Lindsey. When the moment is right, you take ahold of her hands. Like this..." He slowly grasped my hands. He stared at my hands for a minute. "Wow, your hands are really soft..." He whispered softly, blushing again. He kept gently rubbing my hands. I'm assuming he lost his train of thought because after a minute, he looked up at me. "Anyway," he continued. "Then you just... I don't know... Passionately gaze into her eyes and then..." We both were just staring deeply into each other's eyes. Neither one of us wanted to look away. I realized at this moment, that I was actually very in love with Frank Iero. It wasn't just a crush. I was IN LOVE with Frankie. This moment was so perfect and it made me realize that I had strong feelings for him. I never knew it because maybe, even though I'm gay, maybe I didn't want to admit to the fact that I was in love with a boy. Actually, an angel. I thought I was in love with Lindsey. I was. But this moment made me feel like I didn't know what I wanted anymore. I didn't know if I wanted Lindsey or Frank. But I knew I wanted Frank. "Then you..." Frank began again. He leaned in slowly and before I knew it, our lips were pressing against each other's. He was kissing me. And oh god, Frank's lips are so soft. He gently pulled away, blushing. I was blushing too. "...and then maybe she'll keep kissing you back and..." He trailed off. I realized the reason he stopped talking was because I was cupping the back of his neck and pulling him in to kiss me again. I didn't know what the fuck I was doing, but I was overcome by a strong desire for Frank and it felt like what I needed - or rather, wanted - to do. Our lips met again and I felt all tingly inside. Frank kissed me back harder and I opened my mouth, letting him know it was okay. He did the same and he slid his tongue in my mouth, and was using it to play with mine. Then he reached up and grabbed a handful of my long black hair and it felt like he kept trying to pull me closer and closer, pushing our mouths together harder and harder. He then used his free hand to touch my crotch. I shivered and pulled away slightly. He pulled his hand away. "I-I'm sorry," he mumbled, blushing harder than before. "I forgot... I'm so sorry." He started to pull away from me, but I pulled him back. "It's okay, I want you to," I whispered lustfully. I took his hand and placed it back where it was. "Now, kiss me." And before he could say 'no', I kissed him hard. He reciprocated immediately and placed his free hand back in my hair, tangling his fingers in it and gently tugging. I moaned and he pulled away from my lips and started kissing my neck. After a minute or so, he started sucking on my neck and gently rubbing me. "Oh, Frankie," I moaned. "Oh god, this feels... amazing... Oh my god... Fuck..." He stopped just long enough to talk. "Oh yeah?" He purred. And I'm sure he was smirking like hell that he just made me moan. He went back to sucking on my neck. He sucked for about a minute and then kissed the part of my where he sucked. I laid one of my hands on his thigh, then he kissed my lips again. I just started sliding my hand up to touch him like he touched me when his mom started walking in. "Gerard, are you almost ready to--" Frank and I pulled away from each other. She gasped when she immediately realized what we were just doing. We blushed from embarrassment. Oh my god, we're so dead. "I-i-it's not what it looks like," Frank stuttered, embarrassed. "We were just... I..." "You're gay, aren't you, Frankie?" She asked softly, but shocked, already knowing the answer. She looked at him. She made eye contact and knew right away what he was gonna say. I know that she knew. It was plastered all over her face. I knew it. I know things. "I-I was going to tell you..." He said ashamedly. His eyes trailed to the floor. I guessed he didn't know what else to say. I didn't blame him. I was equally embarrassed. But I'm glad it was his mom and not his dad. That would be awful. We both would already be dead. So I am grateful as well. "When?" She pressed. "When you got caught? Like just now? Your father will not be happy about this... Is Gerard the first one?" She looked so upset over the fact that her son was gay. It made me sick. Why can't people accept that some people are gay? They are still themselves. So, what's the big fucking deal? "No," he admitted. "BJ is my boyfriend." He sighed and dropped his head. I looked at him. He looked so ashamed of himself and embarrassed and he looked so self-loathing. I couldn't get over how upset he looked. Was he embarrassed of me? Or was it because he was cheating on BJ? He was cheating on BJ. With me. "Oh, Frankie... You're cheating?" She groaned. "It's alright with me, that you're gay, I mean, but your father is a different story. And... Were you planning on, y'know... having sex with Gerard?" Oh my fucking god. Did she really just ask that?!?! Whoa, okay, umm... Wow. Now I'm curious. Because I'm sure sex with Frankie would be amazing. But then again, I have no idea what sex is like. The idea of sex scared me. And now I wanna know what he was planning to do after we kissed. And BJ... What was he planning to do to me while he's with BJ? Um, okay. Now I definitely wanna know. Was he going to... Was he going to try to have sex with me? Does that mean...? Dammit, I need to stop over thinking all of this and listen. I looked at Frank and blushed. "Mom!" He shouted. He was blushing hard, too. Oh my god. What does that mean? He pushed her outside the room and stepped out, but I could still hear. "That's private, okay?!? Geez!!! What if I was?! What would you say to that, huh?!" He was now pissed at his mom for making him even more embarrassed. I buried my face in my hands. I was so embarrassed, too. "I would tell you to be careful... I mean yes, I am shocked because you're sixteen but I do kind of owe you for everything you have gone through... So... And I'm fine with you being gay. I love that you were probably going to choose Gerard. He's very polite. I just... Frank, you should have told me about you and Billie Joe," she sighed again. "He is a motherfucking punk. You should leave him and date Gerard." I agree. Frank gasped at his mother's curse. "I know, mom, I want to, but... And I'm glad you like Gerard. I just don't know how I feel about him yet..." He's lying. I can tell by the tone of his voice. He might be in love with me. And he just said... Oh god. He said he wants to leave BJ for me? "I think I really like him though... Maybe I..." My breath hitched in my throat when I heard that. "Never mind," she waved it away. "Gerard is gay too? Why did agree to go out with Lindsey then?" Good point. "I... I don't know..." Mrs Iero, well, Linda walked back into the room with Frank. "You still want me to take you to meet Lindsey?" She asked. Her face was telling me that she wanted me to say, 'nah. I'll just stay here and fuck your son'. Which is what I REALLY wanted to say. "Yeah, I guess..." I sighed out. What the fuck am I even doing with all of this shit between who I want or whatever? I know I REALLY want Frank. But I still am into Lindsey and have been dreaming of going on a date with her since I met her. Pathetic, right? Frank looked slightly hurt at what I said. Like he gave me his heart and I chopped it up into tiny pieces. But I think then he understood that I didn't wanna let Lindsey down. And he was okay. But he still looked like he loathed himself. He looked sad and angry. Maybe it was because he thought that I didn't want him or something. But I did. Oh god, I really really did. *** I walked Lindsey home. We walked to her front door in silence. I recollected my thoughts. The date went very well. We ate dinner and went to the park to talk for awhile. It was really nice. "Thanks," she said, blushing. She looked me in the eyes and smiled. God, she's so beautiful. "Anytime," I replied, blushing as well. She kissed me on the cheek and smiled as she went inside. I began walking back to Frank's house. It was so fucking cold, it stung my lungs to breathe. And Frank's house was really far from Lindsey's. I called Linda to ask her to come get me, and she said, "I don't think it's a good idea for you to come back here. Frank's father is furious and--" I hung up the phone. Why the fuck would she tell him?! That fucking bitch! I trusted her and she goes and tells Frank's asshole, homophobic, bad excuse for a father that he's gay! Oh my god, I could only imagine what was going on. I looked around and realized: I have no fucking idea of where the hell I am! I saw a street name: Oakland Road. I caved in. I called mom and asked her to come get me.

Notes

Thank you for reading! Who doesn't love frerard and Petekey? Its also ryden too so...