It's all tøø real

I took in a sharp breath not taking my eyes of Gerard. He's not disappearing like he usually does. I chewed on my lip harshly as I shut my eyes tightly opening them back up expecting Gerard to be gone, but he wasn't. He was right there! Is he finally back so we can fix all of this?? I finally break eye contact with Gerard letting my gaze fall onto Mikey as he started to speak.

"Frankie? A-are you okay?"

I stared at him blankly for a second and then I finally processed what he said and just pointed to Gerard. I watched Mikey look over and scrunch his eyebrows in confusion. I smiled wide turning my attention back to Gerard.

"He's back! You're back! I thought you left me for good this time baby!" I squeaked out practically running over to him, "Fuck, I've missed you so much."

I went into hug Gerard, but I was stopped by Mikey grabbing ahold of my arm. I looked at him confused, "What the hell Mikey?!" My voice sounding extremely bitter.

"Frank.." Mikey hesitated slightly, "No ones there."

I looked over at him with wide eyes, "No. You're wrong. He's right here!" I looked back in Gerard's direction to maybe even prove to myself he was really there, but he wasn't. He was fucking gone again.

I swallowed hard rubbing my eyes hard opening them quickly, hoping to see him again. But of course. He wasn't there. It was all in my head again. I can't fucking do this. I can't go through this anymore. I looked up at Mikey with sadden eyes, my lip quivering harshly. Mikey let out a soft sigh.

"C'mon Frankie.." Mikey breathed out gently pulling me back into my bedroom.

The second I stepped through the doorway I dropped to the ground and just began sobbing. I felt Mikey gently wrap his arms around my as I clutched onto my knees. Mikey sighed rocking us back and forth, while he gently stroked my hair.

"Shh, it's gonna be okay, darling. I promise." Mikey whispered soothingly.

I laughed softly, "It's gonna be okay?! I miss Gerard so fucking much that I'm fucking hallucinating him and you want to tell me it's going to be okay?! Are you fucking kidding me?!" I shouted pushing him off of me.

Mikey looked at me hurt as he hesitated to grab ahold of me once more, but made the smart decision of stating away.

I scoffed slightly shaking my head, "You don't fucking understand Mikey. It's as simple as that. Stop fucking trying to act like you understand!"

"Fra-"

"No. Just. Just fucking get out. Please." I stated harshly, pointing at the door.

Mikey stared at me for a second before slowly rising to his feet and finally stepping out of the room, well after looking back at me about ten times to make sure I wanted him out. I chewed on my lip as I got off of the floor locking the door.
I quickly stumbled over to the bed grabbing my phone off of the bedside table as fast as I could. I gulped harshly as I hesitantly punched a very well known number into my phone. Of course like always it went straight to voicemail.
I let out a small cry as I called many more times.

I called one last time, actually leaving a message this time,
"Gerard, please. Come back. I need you terribly. I am incapable of functioning properly without you. You are my one and only escape from this disastrous reality. You numb my pain and make each day a little easier. I fucking need you Gerard. I-I've been hallucinating. I keep seeing you everywhere. I miss you so fucking much, I'm sure it's fucking killing me at this point. I-I'll stop taking the medicine I promise. Just. Please come back. I can't do this without you. It's like your the fucking air in my lungs, Gerard. I just fucking miss you, you asshole! I miss getting to see your sleepy face in the morning. I miss making you coffee and pancakes. I miss seeing your stupid sideways smile. I miss kissing your nicotine stained lips. I miss being in your arms. I just fucking miss you and if not taking my medicine is what'll being you back to me then that's what I'll do." I then heard the phone beep softly.

I felt my lip quiver once more as I threw the phone down and before I knew it I was sobbing again.




--




I had finally stopped crying about an hour or so later I'm not really sure, now, I'm just staring blankly up at the ceiling. I heard the door creak softly, I sighed slightly, turning my head to see Mikey, his face red and puffy. He'd been crying. I sighed once more, groaning softly as I sat up. I noticed Mikey clutching onto a small bottle tightly as he got closer to me.

"You need to take your medicine." Mikey mumbled out softly.

I chewed on my lip harshly, slowly nodding, "Okay.."

Mikey looked at me slightly shocked I was so accepting of it. He quickly unscrewed the lid dumping two pills into his hand, gently pushing his hand towards me along with a small cup of water in his other hand. I quickly took the pills from him placing them in my mouth. I moved the pills under my tongue as I swallowed the water. Mikey stared at me for a second.

Mikey narrowed his eyes, looking at me suspiciously, "Open your mouth."

I quickly obeyed opening my mouth, making sure I kept my tongue pressed down.

"Lift your tongue."

I looked at him with wide eyes, "W-why you don't trust me?"

"No, I really don't. Now lift your tongue." Mikey stated simply.

I sighed, defeated as i slowly lifted up my tongue revealing the two pills to Mikey. Mikey sighed softly and quickly went to the bathroom, filling the cup back up with water. He kneeled down in front of me, once again pushing the water towards me. I sighed softly before downing the pills.
Mikey checked my mouth once more making sure I actually took it and smiled weakly at me.

"I'm sorry Frankie. You just have to take your medicine." He said softly as he moved a small piece of hair out of my face.

I just nodded slightly, "It's fine. I understand."

Mikey smiled wide kissing my forehead gently, "Try to get some rest, darling."

I nodded once more smiling softly up at him. And with that Mikey walked out, turning the light off on his way out.
I quickly jumped out of bed tiptoeing to the bathroom as fast as I could locking the door behind me. I kneeled down in front of the toilet before shoving two fingers down my throat, causing me to gag instantly.
I coughed harshly as I kept my fingers in the back of my throat.
Finally after about five minutes of fucking gagging myself I puked up the pills along with all of the contents in my stomach.

Notes