It's all tøø real

It's been two weeks since Gerard just walked out. I'm staying with Mikey again. And of course Kristen isn't very happy about it. She almost cussed me out when me and Mikey walked in together, but thankfully the second she saw my face she knew to keep her fucking mouth shut. I've thought about not taking the pills any more and then he'd come back to me. He'd come back and I'd feel alive again, but Mikey insists I keep taking them. He sits there and makes sure I take them. He tells me they'll help me, but I feel so fucking empty. What if Gerard never comes back? Do you know how fucking unfair that would be? Mikey gets to marry the love of his life but just because I'm a little sad I fucking lose mine. I miss him. I miss him so fucking much. I keep seeing him every now and then, well I imagine seeing him. I'll see him for a split second in a hallway or something and then he's gone again. I've tried telling Mikey about it. He just tells me to ignore it and take my medicine. That its normal to hallucinate a person after you've missed them for a long time. I don't like this. The first night I just cried nonstop. Mikey tried to comfort me, but of course it had no affect. I don't really eat anymore, I rarely sleep. Anytime I actually do fall asleep I either have the dream again or I just see Gerard throwing the pills down and walking out on replay. I fucking hate this. I hate this feeling. I want Gerard back. It's like I needed him to just fucking breath. It's like I needed him to live.
I didn't even move in the slightest bit when I heard the door gently swing open. I knew it was Mikey. I heard him sigh softly as the door frame creaked indicating he was leaning up against it.

"Breakfast is ready, darling." He spoke softly.

"Don't call me that." I stated probably a lot harsher than I meant to.

I didn't mean to be an asshole. I just. I'm hurt. And he's fucking married, but he's still okay with having this small little affair with me, and I don't know if I'm okay with that anymore.
I heard Mikey's breath hitch slightly. I had hurt him. I didn't mean to. Like I said, I'm just hurt.

"Okay..I'm sorry Frankie." Mikey breathed out softly, "It's just. It's not safe to take your pills without eating, it can make you really sick."

I turned to him quickly, throwing my arms up in the air, "Then maybe I shouldn't take my pills anymore!!"

Mikey sighed looking at me sadly, "Or you could eat y'know like a normal person."

I chuckled softly to myself, "Like a normal person?" I breathed out trying to contain the tears that we're practically begging to spill out at this point, "Gerard called me normal. He said I didn't need these fucking pills because I'm perfectly normal." I stated as I reached over clutching the bottle of pills in my hands, "And then he fucking left. And now I'm fucking broken! Im fucking hurt! I'm fucking empty! And these piece of shit pills aren't helping me in the slightest fucking bit!!" I cried out as I threw the pills at the wall causing pills to fly everywhere.

Mikey took in a sharp breath, looking over the mess I had created. Then without saying anything he just began picking up the scattered pills. I chewed on my lip as I felt a single tear slide down my cheek. Mikey glanced up at me and sighed softly before sitting next to me.

"I know." He breathed out, "I know it's hard" he said softly as he gently rubbed circles into my back.

I let out a soft chuckle, "How would you know?" I sniffled, "How the fuck would you know, Mikey? You got to fucking marry the love of your life! And mine left me. How could you ever understand the pain I'm going through right now?"

Mikey let out another sigh. He then gave me a certain look, one I couldn't entirely understand. I could tell he was upset, but there was more to it. I sighed softly,

"I'm s-"

"Just don't Frank." Mikey interrupted, "Please. I know it's hard, but I'm just trying to help you."

I felt my stomach knot up instantly. He's been amazing towards me and I'm here treating him like complete shit. He's done so much for me I shouldn't be so bitter just because Gerard decided to try and control me, and then left the second he realized he couldn't.
I felt my cheeks become wet. Was I crying again? I looked up at Mikey sniffling softly. His face instantly softened with sympathy.

"Oh come here, dear," he said softly as he opened up his arms.

I quickly snuggled myself into his chest, clutching onto his shirt. Mikey very gently wrapped his arms around my huddled up frame.

"I miss him so much!" I cried out probably soaking Mikey's shirt in the process.

Mikey ran his hand through my tangled up hair, "I know sweetie, it'll get easier. I promise."

I just clutched onto him as I continued to sob in complete and utter pain. I've never felt pain like this. I've never missed someone this much.
I finally calmed down after sobbing for about ten minutes straight.

"I don't know how you deal with me, mikes," I confessed, "I've treated you like complete shit these last couple of weeks and you still try to help."

Mikey chuckled gently, "Of course I'm still going to try and help, Frankie." He smiled down at me, "I care a fucking lot about you."

I felt a small blush creep up on my cheeks and a huge smile spread across my lips, "Fuck man. Why me? Like after all of this why did Gerard decide to ask me on a date over all of the other guys just drooling over him? Why did you decide to trust me after not trusting anyone else since Bert. What the fuck makes me so special?"

"Hm. I honestly don't know. Maybe it's that little glimmer in your eyes."

I just chuckled, "I'm sorry for being an ass. I promise I'll start acting right."

Mikey perked up slightly, "You'll even start eating again?" He smiled even wider as I nodded in response, "Good! Because I made you your favorite!"

I chuckled softly, slowly prying myself out of bed. I grunted softly accidentally stepping on one of my pills. I was running kinda low now that I think about it. I shrugged it off more than sure Mikey would make sure I had more the second I run out, y'know considering my whole life kinda revolves around self pity and those fucking pills now. I dragged my feet as I began walking down the hall and into the kitchen, smiling slightly when the smell of chocolate chip waffles surrounded me. I looked over at Kristen who was just kinda staring at me in shock. I guess she didn't expect me out of the room so soon. I gave her a weak smile as I sat down.

"So, Frankie, how many waffles do you want?" Mikey asked as he finally entered the kitchen, thankfully breaking the unbearable tension between me and Kristen.

"Um one is fine for now." I responded quickly, still unsure if I could keep food down.

Mikey nodded slightly, placing a waffle on a plate sliding it over to me along with some syrup.

"Why thank yo-" I stopped speaking immediately when I saw a very familiar figure standing in the corner of the room.

Gerard.

Notes

Okay yes this chapter is complete shit I apologize for that, but I promise you things are going to get really intense soon and some of you might hate me in a couple more chapters <3