But I Love You

It’s the next morning and I wake up to the voices of Gerard and Mikey. I remember that Gerard was tickling me last night and I eventually fell asleep on top of him. He has his arms wrapped around me in a protective way and my legs are on either side of his hips. They both sound serious so I still pretend like i’m asleep because I don’t want to interrupt if it’s important...And because i’m nosy.
“Mikey, you’re smart enough to understand why I can’t do that, even if I wanted to.” Gerard says in a quiet voice but still firmly.
“Yes I understand that it would be weird to do that because you love him in a different way and every time you look at him, you get the undesirable urge to fuck the brains out of him,” Mikey begins, making Gerard move a little bit uncomfortably, “But, it would be better if you make sure his mom or dad doesn’t take him away from you or this house in general if they ever found out about you guys. Part of you wanting to make him happy and protecting him comes with making sure he’s in a stable and healthy environment.”
What the fuck are they talking about?
“Jesus Mikey, stop being so smart all the time. What if teachers found that out? Especially the kids. Frankie already gets bullied from time to time. I couldn’t bare to see him get hurt over this.” Gerard states, unsure of himself.
“You know, Mom isn’t really the best mother, but if she taught us anything, it’s to not care what others think and stand up for yourself. Now you have to teach that to Frank.” Mikey says in a sincere voice.
“You’re right. I have to just talk to Frankie about it and see what he thinks.” He kisses the top of my head and I decide it’s the perfect time to wake up now.
I slowly ‘wake up’, stretching my arms and legs and letting out a yawn. I see the look of awe on Gerard’s face and blush.
“What?” I say, embarrassed.
“How the hell did two pieces of shit make something so beautiful, so perfect?” He gently puts the hair in my eyes behind my ear.
I blush even more, “I...I don’t know.”
We stare at each other for a little while and it isn’t awkward at all, it’s comforting; at least to Gerard and I.
“Uh guys i’m Mikey fucking Way and i’m uncomfortable.” He gets his sass from his older brother, obviously.
“What does your name have to do with it?” I question.
“I’m special.” He simply says after a good minute of thinking.
“Yes, Mikey. Very, very special.” Gerard says sarcastically.
“Oh piss off.” Mikey sounds annoyed and leaves the room, leaving it to just Gerard and I.
We both give each other a look of ‘wow that motherfucker is crazy’ and then giggle.
“Oh Frankie we should set up your new room!” Gerard suggests.
“Not a bad idea, Gee.” We get up and go into my room, beginning to hang up the new posters and putting new covers on my bed, along with putting all my clothes in the dresser and closet.

After about an hour and a half of making my room look cool, I hear my phone ring from Gerard’s room and run to go get it. I don’t recognize the number and can’t think of anyone it could be, but i reluctantly answer it anyways.
“Hello?” I ask with irritation, thinking it’s a stupid prank call.
“Frankie?” Says a female voice that sounds somewhat familiar, but not really.
“Yeah, who’s this?” Gerard comes in the room and sits next to me with a concerned look on his face.
“It’s...it’s your mother.” She says with hesitation and I immediately start to feel panicky. She’s supposed to have forgotten about me by now! I wouldn’t have been upset over that because I now have Gerard. He already makes me feel more loved than I have ever felt by either of my parents. Now it’s just another obstacle that me and Gerard might have to face.
“Oh.” Is all that manages to come out, and apparently my worry is showing because Gerard comes over to me and picks me up then sets me down on his lap, silently comforting me.
“How have you been?” She tries to start conversation. She sounds half dead and probably looks like it too. That’s what drugs and booze do to you, and it’s ashame that people get addicted to toxic things that make you end up possibly dead.
“Well for the first few months that you kicked me out, life was shit, but now i’m getting happy again and i’m doing really good in school.” I answer honestly. I mean, she’s still my mother and deserves to know at least a little bit that’s going on in my life.
“That’s good I guess. What made you happy?”
What the hell am I supposed to say now? “Oh..I found someone who makes me happy.”
“What’s her name?” Mom asks. Oh god, I never told her I was gay...Maybe I could just slip it in there somehow.
“His name is...Gerard.” I mean she’ll never meet him, right?
“You’re a fagot?!” Ah, there’s the mother I know and love.
“You’re a homophobe? It’s 2015 and it’s legal now. Get with the program, mother.” I say sounding uninterested in this conversation.I hear her mutter something like ‘I can’t fucking believe this’ under her breath but I choose to ignore it.
“How does he make you happy?” She asks with disgust in her voice
I look up at Gerard; who’s already looking down at me, and I smile thinking about how much i’m starting to love him, “He’s beautiful, he is the smartest person I have ever met, he is my role model, and most importantly, he treats me with love and careness...Like i’m his prince.” Gerard mouths ‘you are’ and I hear a sigh from my mother.
“Why don’t you come home, Frank? I thought you don’t have anywhere to stay.” Mom offers.
“I’d rather be living in a tent surrounded by bears then go back to live with you. Thanks for the suggestion but i’m all good.” Now she’s starting to piss me off.
“But Frankie-”
“No mom! I’m done with your fucking drinking and drugs and hearing you fuck all the time just for money and then when you get into what you think is a good relationship and he leaves, you become a crazy bitch! I’m done with being abused and feeling unwanted! I’m done with everything!!” I scream and start to sob.
Gerard decides that phone time is over because he snatches my phone from me and hangs up on her. I’m crying really loud and I probably look a mess. He then crawls us both into his bed and i’m lying on top of him, the same way I woke up with him. I hate him seeing me like this, but I just can’t stop crying.
“Baby, calm down. It’s all okay...Shhh. Don’t listen to her, she’s not in her right mind. In fact, no one is in there right mind to find the need to hurt you or dislike you. You’re my perfect little angel and you have been since I laid my eyes on you. That will never change, ever.” Gerard runs his fingers through my hair softly and I look up at him.
“R-really? Do y-you really m-mean that?” I stutter because of my shaky breathing.
“Yes, Darling, I do. I know it’s hard to have parents like that, it fucking sucks. But you have me now and Mikey. Mikey and I care so much about you, honey. And you know what, it might be way too early to say this but fuck it; Once you graduate and everything, we can leave Jersey and start a new life anywhere you want. No one will know us and no one will know anything about me being your teacher. It will just be me and you, and maybe I will even get to do my art thing, and you can go to the local college. It will be perfect.”
“I would love that, Gee.” I smile and he kisses the top of my head.
We sit in silence for a little while, thankful that Gerard calms me down so quickly. Mikey came in just to make sure i’m alright, which i’m also very thankful for. Both brothers are just amazing people.
“Hey, Frankie? Why don’t you go shower and i’ll go finish your room? Showers always make people feel better.” Gerard suggests.
“Okay, Gee. I just want to say that i’m really grateful that you’re in my life and thank you for always calming me down. You are an amazing person, Gerard and I hope you know that. You really make me happy.” I kiss his cheek and get up.
He smiles and I can see tears of joy roll down his cheeks, “No problem, Baby. My mission since day one was to make you the happiest person alive. I’ll never give up on you or that mission. You’re becoming my world, Frankie.” He wipes the tears off his cheeks.

I am now out of the shower with a new pair of pajamas on and Gerard finished my room. I have to say, it looks fucking incredible. It’s that kind of room that you imagine having all your life, but instead I actually got to have it.
Gerard, Mikey, and I have decided to get pizza and watch a movie since it was around seven now. We ordered a large cheese pizza and got chicken wings for them to split as I am not a big meat eater. We watched the movie ‘Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World’. It’s definitely one of my favourite movies of all time. The imagination combined with the comedy is what everyone looks for in a movie, and that’s exactly what that movie has.
Once the movie is done, we go up to bed but Gerard said I can sleep with him tonight if I want, even though school is tomorrow. Of course, I gladly accepted the offer.
We both crawled into his bed and he tucked me under all the blankets. I cuddled into his chest and he wrapped his arm around my waist. We were both already tired so we knew we would fall asleep right away.
But just as I was about to fall asleep, I heard my name.
“Frankie?” Gerard asked tiredly.
“Yeah?” I answered.
“I….I love you.” He said quietly.
“I love you too, Gee.” I smiled and snuggled deeper into his chest. And with that, we both happily fell asleep.
I really do mean it when I say I love him.

Notes

Hey guys! Ugh sorry for the wait again but I guess that's just how it has to be for a little while because school is killing me. I hope you enjoy this chapter and feedback is helpful!
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