But I Love You

I have the stupid new class I have to take with Gerard right now because he is a clingy motherfucker. Not that I mind, though. I’m very clingy too so it’s just something we have in common. If I had any other english teacher and they made me go to this idiotic class, I’d just skip and take the bad grade. But Gerard is in here and I’ve expressed how I feel about this whole class thing multiple times so I have a feeling he’ll make it fun for me. If he doesn’t then I’ll just sleep for the period honestly. I’m a really deep sleeper so it won’t be a problem.
I slowly walk into class, realizing i’m the last person to come in and that there’s only five more students in here. “Frank! I thought you were going to skip this class.” Gerard says, fully knowing I would do that.
“I would never want to skip a class like this, Mr. Way!” I say, my mouth dripping from sarcasm. He shakes his head and giggles while I take the seat I usually sit in during regular english. While he get’s everyone else set up with their work, I just sit there staring into space thinking about nothing in particular except for how much I would like to strangle Gerard right now. But also when I think about it, this class would be the same period I have gym so I really appreciate him taking my hate for gym into consideration.
He comes back to his desk and then gives me a blank sheet of paper. “Okay so what I want you to do is write why you think you’re in here. I’m the only one that will see or read this.” Gerard informs me.
I already have an idea on what to write so I nod, taking the paper and start writing. I keep giggling to myself as i’m writing, making Gerard look at me confused every now and then. Once I finish, I read it to myself again, content with what I wrote. It says “I am in this god forbidden class because Gerard Way is a clingy bastard who is in love with his 17 year old student. Even though he lives with said 17 year old, he still can’t get enough of his face and what I think, most importantly, his sweet ass. But not to fear because the 17 year old that goes by the name F. Lero also think his english teacher, Gerard has an even sweeter ass. So I guess this dreadful class is good for the both of them.” I then continue to put a heart with my signature “xofrnk”. I laugh again and hand it to Gerard, who is looking at me like i’m a psychopath.
He reads it, his face going through many emotions and when he’s finished the only thing he has to say is “Since when was F. Lero a thing?”
“People used to call me that in middle school for some reason, but that’s not the point of the note!” I said quietly, making sure no other students can hear me.
“Whatever. Maybe it’s true or maybe it’s not. You’ll just never know. Aren’t we supposed to just be in the friend zone anyway?” He whispers.
“Yes but i’m not going to just deny that I love you because of it. I can still joke around and tease all I want, it’s more fun.” I shrug, feeling slightly embarrassed.
He looks at me with what I think is awe and then whispers, “If we were alone right now, I think I’d actually kiss you. Why do you have to be so sweet and innocent all the damn time?”
I blush a little and shrug again, feeling kind of sad that we can’t kiss for many reasons right now, and happy that he likes what I think to him is my persona. Sweet and innocent. I don’t exactly like that but if it makes Gerard happy I’ll stay this way.

The rest of the day went by more quick than I expected, and before I knew it, I was at home laying in my bed reading a new comic Gerard had lended to me. It’s called Hellboy and apparently it’s one of Gerard’s favorite comics. I then surprisingly see my door burst open and a very happy Mikey came into my room. He sits on my bed and watches me while I settle my comic down on my nightstand and sit up. He has the a smile from ear to ear and he looks genuinely happy. As much as i’m glad for him, I still can’t help but feel a little awkward at the moment. Usually he is calm, doesn’t smile much and even a little moody. But right now, he is bouncing in his seat, has the biggest smile I’ve ever saw on him, and seems as happy as a kid in a candy store.
“Heya Frank! What'cha doin?” Mikey asks, a little too joyfully.
“Just laying down reading a comic…” I answer, shifting a little awkwardly.
“Oh that’s cool.” He nods his head and then looks around my room, specifically eyeing my tv. “You know you have a television for a reason, why don’t we watch a movie together?” He suggests.
“Uh sure, just hang on a second.” I get up, throwing all my shit from school on the floor and grabbing the TV remote from off my desk. I come back over and stand there again, only to feel even more awkward when he is already laying down in my bed. I mean, the bed is big enough for us to have space between us and not be uncomfortably close to each other. It’s not that I don’t like Mikey, of course I like him. It’s just that i’m getting weird vibes right now and I never thought of being together with Mikey. From day one, my heart and mind was set on Gerard and no one else and then to go leave him for his little brother is just really shady; something I would never do. I love Mikey in a brotherly way, and i’m just straight out in love with Gerard. Very, very different.
After my little zone out, I climb into bed with a good few inches between us. I’m sure Gerard and Mikey have done this before with each other, so I shouldn’t be doubting anything or feel like something bad is about to happen. Usually when I feel like this though, something is bound to happen whether I like it or not.
Mikey snatches the remote out of my hand and turns the tv on, searching through the stations. He lands on the movie Divergent. That’s the book we just finished in English class. I heard the movie was pretty good but I never got to watch it because you know, I was poor and homeless…
He lands on the show American Horror Story and my favorite season is on (the first season). I get more comfortable, pulling the blankets up over me and grabbing Barry to cuddle with him. I wish Gerard was here right now so we could all hang out together but he’s probably grading tests and homework like always. But I guess these tests are more important because mid terms are about to come out. Other than math class, i’m really not worried about my grades. I already do pretty good in school and I got what I have to make up from when I was suspended and those papers won’t take me that long.
I focus on the show, admiring how cute Evan Peters looks, even though he’s a murderer and a raper. We all have our bad sides though, right? Plus it’s only in the show. Every few minutes I feel Mikey move, getting closer and closer to me. I don’t know if it’s on purpose or not so I just stay still, worried I’ll make him feel embarrassed or something. If it is on purpose, since when did he have a thing for me and since when was he gay? Maybe he’s bisexual, who knows?
If he does like me and thinks right now would be the best time to ‘pull the moves on me’ because me and Gee aren’t together then he has it all wrong. The only reason Gerard and I are taking a break is because we rushed into it way too fast, causing things to become toxic between us. And because we want it to be a little less illegal than it already is. Oh god, what if Mikey really does like me? What would Gerard think if he found out? Panic mode is going into full effect now.
“So Frank, how was school?” Mikey snaps me out of thinking, trying to make conversation while the commercials are playing.
“Oh uh it was good for the most part.” I answer, trying not to show my panicking. He nods then stays silent for a moment, before speaking up.
“Don’t you love how Tate and Violet act together? They love each other so much. It’s a shame how things turn out in the end though.” Mikey says, seeming like he’s trying to get to something.
“Uh yeah, they kind of remind me of Gerard and I. Y’know, except for the killing and raping...Or how they end up by the end of the season. I have a feeling Gerard and I will end up real happy together.” I say, hinting to him that all my feelings are towards Gerard.
He quickly sits up a little, putting his weight on his elbows and then turns so his head is right above mine, a few inches between our faces. What the hell is he doing?!
“You’re in love with him aren’t you?” He asks, whispering.
“I am.” I answer, swallowing hard.
He stays quiet, staring at me for a minute until he finally says “Well maybe i’m in love with someone too.”
Before I can even process what he just said, he put his lips on mine, kissing me gently. I don’t kiss back of course, only making him press his lips harder on mine. His lips are a little chapped, unlike Gerard’s who are soft and smooth. This is only making me miss Gerard even more.
After what seems like forever, and me not giving in to the kiss, he takes his lips off mine, his face immediately changing from the happy mood he was into a now scared, and panicked Mikey.
“You’re in love with me?!”

Notes

Hey guys! I know, it's been a long time since I updated and I didn't update when I said I would but I didn't realize how stressful school would be this week so hopefully you understand. I hope you enjoyed it!

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