Touch Him Again, And I'll Kill You

For the next few weeks, Gerard and I kept in close contact. We met up a few times, but nothing too interesting happened. We would just get coffee and talk for a while, but it was satisfying. It was nice to be with him even if I wasn’t with him. He always talked of how we never should have split and how he wishes we could be together again. My foolish heart always wants to jump right into it, but my brain says no. Our relationship was like walking on thin ice. You could fall through at any second, and it wasn’t comfortable to me. Plus, it wouldn’t be fair to Max if I just broke his heart like that.
Speaking of Max, he had been getting more and more violent with me lately. He would shove me up against walls and kiss me against my will, and we would hold onto my shoulders really tightly whenever I was talking to someone that wasn’t him. He hadn’t left any bruises, though, so whenever I said anything to someone, they wouldn’t believe me. They would just say “Oh, please Frank. He’s a sweetheart who would never hurt a fly”.
There were times when he was the person I had originally liked, but other times were hectic. If I didn’t talk to him a lot throughout the day, he would show up at my house and wait for me until I was home. It was sort of terrifying to know that he had such easy access to my life.
Today was a good day, though.
“Baby, you look cold, do you want my jacket?” He asked me with a sweet voice.
I nodded my head while shivering. He smiled down at me, then pulled his varsity jacket off and placed it lightly on my shoulders, then he kissed my neck. I felt my cheeks heat up as I slid my arms into the sleeves.
He linked his hand in mine, and we continued our walk down the sidewalk and into town.
He held the door to the music store open for me, and we walked in together. The warm air was comforting on this chilly winter morning.
I walked over to a rack of albums and started looking through them. “Pick anything you want, Frank, I’m buying.” He leaned over my shoulder to see what I was looking at, and I leaned into him.
After about thirty minutes of looking, I finally picked out a Misfits CD.
Max held true to his word, and he paid for it, then we left the store and began walking hand in hand.
“Where do you wanna go?” He asked me. I shrugged. “I don’t know. What about the comic store?”
He nodded with a small smile, because I knew he wasn’t into comics. He thought they were for nerds, so he always hated going in there, but I loved it. I loved it because it reminded me of Gerard so much. It smelled of cigarettes and coffee, and they were always playing some Bowie song. If Gerard was a store, he would be this one.
I opened the door, and the scent hit me immediately, and I felt at home, even though I had only come here a few times before.
I smiled at the man behind the counter before slowly walking around, looking at everything. I wasn’t even interested in buying comics right now, I just needed the comfort of anything that had to do with Gerard.
Speaking of the fucking devil, the bell on the door rang, and I glanced up and there he was. His red hair messily falling into his face, and an oversized black sweater hanging off of his shoulders. He hadn’t seen me yet, so he began looking around. As usual, I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. He was so beautiful.
“Do you know him?” Max’s voice broke my trance.
I looked at him. “No, not at all. Why?”
“Well, you keep staring at him, Frank.”
I shook my head. “That’s ridiculous-” I was cut off by the man behind the counter yelling “Gerard! You sure are a sight for sore eyes, how’ve you been?!”
Gerard smiled, and walked over to the counter and began talking with him. I froze as Max leaned down close to me, and not in a loving way.
“Why the fuck did you lie to me Frank. You know him. You’re probably fucking him aren’t you, you slut?”
I felt like crying, as tears were stinging my eyes. “No, Max, it must be someone else named Gerard, I don’t know him.” I said, trying to save myself.
“Save it, Frank.” He clasped his big hand around my arm tightly, and practically dragged me like a little kid toward the door.
I was hoping like crazy that Gerard wouldn’t turn around, but of course he did.
At first, he looked happy to see me, but then he noticed my situation, and that old, angry fire came into his eyes. I shook my head at him, hoping he wouldn’t do anything.
He threw the comics in his hand down, and walked over to us.
“Hey, get your fucking hands off of him.” He said in an angry voice.
Max stopped and turned around, not letting go of me.
“Why don’t you mind your own fucking business, fag?”
Gerard laughed in his face. “You’re calling me a fag, but you’re the one holding on to that kid who is obviously gay as hell.” This didn’t feel right. This way that Gerard was acting was how he used to act when we were together in school. This is not how he is now.
“What we’re doing is none of your business.” Max tried to defend himself, but I knew that it would only piss Gerard off more. Max just wasn’t going to win this.
“Well, it might be the police’s business when they find out that you’re physically abusing Frankie.”
“Look, dude. Get your big ass nose out of our business or I’ll be forced to kick your ass.”
Gerard rolled his eyes at this. “My nose is mediocre at best, and if you touch Frank again, I’ll be forced to fucking kill you, so I’m going to say this one last time. Get. Your. Hands. Off. Of. HIm.”
Max glared at me. “You’re just going to let him talk to me like that, Frank?”
I didn’t know what to do. I panicked. “Gerard I’m sorry but he’s right. This isn’t your business, I’m not with you anymore, I’m with him. You can’t threaten him.”
Gerard looked shocked.
“Frank, I get that you’re doing this because you’re scared he’s going to hurt you, but you have to tell me right now. Just give me one word, and I’ll save you. I’ll make sure he never touches you again.” I wanted to tell him. I wanted to tell him everything Max has done to me, but for some reason, I didn’t and I’ve never regretted anything more in my life.
“Gerard, I love him. He’s not hurting me. Now please, just leave us alone.” The words tasted like poison on my tongue. No fucking way do I love him.
Gerard finally backed off, and Max dragged me all the way home.
He dragged me home to the worst experience of my entire life, and I don’t know why I didn’t just tell Gerard to help me. I don’t know why I didn’t save myself.

Notes