My Questionable Romance

I woke up, head pounding, next to a collection of old trash cans that were lining the left wall of an alleyway. I rubbed my eyes trying to get them to focus in the dim light. Where the hell am I? How did I get here? The last thing I remember was sitting in QCC trying to read a comic when... oh right I blacked out. That still doesn't answer any of my questions about how, when or why I got into this alleyway in the first place. Did someone knock me unconscious while I was reading? If so what happened to Frank? Is he around here somewhere as well? I get up out of my current sitting position and get to my feet, wobbling slightly do to my light-headedness. I take a few uncertain steps forward and glance nervously around the alley. No Frank. I continue walking until I end up at the end of the alley which leads onto an equally dark and sketchy looking street. I pop my head around the corner to see if any one is on the sidewalk. Judging by the lack of people - and sunlight- I would assume that anyone who would be walking around at this hour wouldn't be the most trustworthy... I keep walking along the sidewalk hoping to come across a street sign to help better orient myself. After about 4 minutes of continuing this way I luck out, spotting a dark blue (how convenient in the dark right?) street sign and in faded bold letters is pasted: Poyntz Ave. I have lived in New Jer. my entire life and never have I seen a street with that name before. This startled me, because if anyone knew New Jersey, I did. I looked at the street adjoined to it hoping I would recognize the name but once again I was baffled because Toro St. didn't ring any bells either. While I was busy staring up at the signs in confusion I must have let my guard down because an inhumanly gruff voice startled me out of my thoughts.

"Excuse me sir but are you lost and what are you doing out at this hour?"

I spun around to see some weirdo butch dude dressed up in a pretty legitimate looking Batman costume. My first thought: he could totally pass for the actual Batman. My second thought: what kind of drugs was this guy on and what the fuck did he want from me?

"Oh uh... I'm- er just heading back to my apartment..." I managed to stutter out to the 'probably really high batman dude'.

"Would you like me to accompany you to your apartment, Gotham is a dangerous place at night... especially with the Shadow on the loose." The 'high batman idiot' asked me seemingly sincerely.

"What the fuck are you on dude? Do you actually have any idea where we are right now? Wait never mind you're probably higher than a motherfucking airplane right now."

"There is no need to use vulgar language sir, I was simply wondering if you wanted an escort from the Batman, you should feel honored." He stated matter-of-factly.

"Are you gonna keep the fucking Batman joke going the whole time? Can't you see I'm lost and I know New Jersey better than anyone!" I practically screeched, in complete hysterics.

"New Jersey...? What are you on about? You are in Gotham City and-"

Whatever Batman dude was going to say was cut off abruptly as something bright red zoomed right past us at an incredible speed. Whatever it was far too fast for my eyes to pick up,but before I could ask or even continue contemplating the matter further the red bolt sped right back towards us and stopped right in front of me.

The individual - yes it was an actual person - stood in front of me wearing a classic the Flash costume and holding a box of steaming doughnuts.

"Like sprinkles?" the superhumanly-fast Flash guy asks me.

I must have stood there gaping like a fish for well over 5 minutes before the man let out a short burst of laughter and said;

"Come on man it's not like I asked you what the answer to the universe was or anything, plus the doughnuts are getting cold."

"Sprinkles are cool... totally cool with me... yeah... sprinkles. And the answer is 42. The answer to the universe is 42... and sprinkles." I managed to sputter out.

Great job Gerard I thought to myself. You managed to sound a) like a complete wannabe and more importantly b) completely bonkers.

The guy in the Flash costume starting hyperventilating and/or laughing, I couldn't tell you which, probably more of a combination of the two. He clutched his stomach and wiped his eyes and eventually had to lean on the Batman for support, else his knees would give way.

"Do you even know where you are or who you're talking to kid?" the Flash guy queried.

"No and that's exactly what I'm trying to figure out!"

Notes

Sorry this chapter is so short. I have an angry mom yelling at me to get up and do shit. I have school starting tomorrow *chronic bitch face* yay. I probably need an editor because I kinda just write down what comes out of my brain. Constructive criticism is appreciated as well as encouraging comments! If anyone has any suggestions for where they want this story to go posting them in the comments would be greatly appreciated. :)