Death is Inevitable

~trigger warning~

Frank pov


I've been in this mood many times before, where everything seems pointless. Just before, I didn't have a reason to be in that mood, but now I really do. I took so much for granted in life and I didn't even realize that it could be a million times worse. Before I could actually walk around, but now I'm just locked in this confined space.

There's no reason to do anything anymore. I can't even see the outside world since they blocked up my window from the last 'attempt' at getting out. Why has my life come to this? All I want in life is to be with Gerard, and I could even be locked up like I was before as long as it's not like this, I would be fine with it. Is that really too much to ask in life? I just want to be able to see him everyday, I don't even care if we're fucking locked up. I don't care!

As I began to bang my head in the door I realize that I've been saying everything out loud for the past ten minutes. I really hope they didn't hear me through their stupid cameras, and yes they've recently installed new ones. This time they're secured so tightly that i have no chance of breaking it. Isn't that great?

"What is the point of anything anymore?"

"What's the point of eating, of sleeping, of drinking when you're going to die someday anyway?"

Well there it is again, the thoughts racing through my head, conflicting with the opposite thoughts in the other half of my brain telling me not to do whatever they're telling me. It's quite confusing really. It's like when you're in a fight and half of your friends decide one thing is right and the other half choose the opposite side, so you are basically choosing between friends.

You'll lose half of them either way. This is like my situation, based on what my thoughts are telling me I'll lose something either way. I'm just not sure what I'm willing to give up yet.



******



The blank walls, the dim lighting, they only make it worse. Feeding my torturous thoughts, giving them a reason to be here. Wait. They actually have a reason to be here, unlike me. I have no reason to be here. The only reason I would, is because of Gerard.

They've taken my only purpose in life away from me, so what's the point of me being here anyway?

"That's right there is none." I whisper to myself.
"I don't belong here."

"I've never belonged here."

"There's really no reason for me to be here anyway."

I wipe the tears, that have apparently been streaming down my face the whole time. I look down at my wrist, the perfect place to place a few cuts. The perfect way to end my misery. Or maybe, I could slam my head in the door if it ever opens. It'd be the perfect way to go.

I now understand what Gerard meant when he said death was a blessing. It truly is. It really does bring happiness, in fact im getting giddy just thinking about it. All of my pain and troubles left away, left on this treacherous Earth. Everything, including......Gerard. I don't know how I'll be able to leave him, but maybe if I die I'll actually get to see him again, where if I was living, I won't. I know he'll be heartbroken, but it's the only way and this is the only way to escape my pain. There's really no other option at this point.
I look over and see a tray that we used to escape laying on the ground. Nostalgia washes over me as I remember the memories that we've had in this room. Even though it's only a few, they're some of the best memories I have.

It's edges are sharpened from when I used it as a crow bar. I take the bedsheet and drape it over the camera, so they can't see anything that's going on in here, and won't interrupt.

"How convenient." I whisper to myself and walk over to it. I make a small cut, and I dip my finger in the blood. I slowly trace it across the white walls, writing out a message. Once I finish, I read it out loud even though I'm the only one in here anyway.

"I'm sorry to everyone who I've wronged. I know this is what you wanted all along, so you finally get it. To my parents, my peers, everyone who has taken the time to even notice im here, I thank you for even acknowledging my existence. I've always been the odd one out, the loner, the one no one wants to be friends with, so I'm finally going through with what I have wanted to do for a long time. Ever since I met Gerard he had this amazing look on death, it inspired me. It showed me how great death really is, and the only reason I didn't take my life right then and there was because of him, he made me want to live and I'd like to say I did the same for him, but now that I can't even see him anymore I've lost that flame, that desire to live. There's nothing left for me on this earth, except for maybe Gerard and he's been taken from my life. So I'd like to say my final words and I'd like Gerard to know just how much he means to me, but it's just not my place to be here right now. As he would have said you have a timer on you for when you're destined to go, and when that timers up, you just know it. Well, my timer is up and it's my time to go. So long and Goodnight."

I have a few tears streaming down my face as I know it's time. There's nothing left for me. I take the tray and lift it up to my wrist, and bring it down in my wrist. I cut open then vein, and im left bleeding out.
"I love you Gerard, so much. So long and goodnight." I say, as I take my final breath. The last thing on my mind when I was alive was Gerard and he'll be the only thing on my mind in the afterlife too, he's my world, my everything and that's exactly why I have to go.



******



Gerard Pov


I can hear footsteps frantically running outside of my door and worried voices. I wonder what's going on? Maybe one of the patients escaped or better yet, maybe one patient killed another patient, that would be something to take my mind off of Frank. At the moment I need something to keep my mind off of Frank, anything really.

I still can't believe I'll never see him again, it's like a nightmare that you vaguely remember, but there's always one little thing that happens in your day that triggers that thought and you remember every detail even exactly what you were wearing at that time. Not seeing him today is that thing that triggered me and I just want to be able to pinch myself and wake up, and see Frank lying next to me, his chest moving up and down slowly as he takes in each breath, at absolute bliss, not a care in the world.

I envy the people that sleep so peacefully, I've never been like that. I've always had those reoccurring nightmares that either repeat or continue on with the story. They're terrifying and they make you just want to...die. It's horrible how a figment of your imagination can have that control over you. I'm not saying death is a bad thing, for i still think it is a blessing, just it's strange to think that something small like a nightmare can have such great effect over you.

"Gerard?" A nurse says, peeking her tear stained face through the doorway.

"Yeah?" I say, a confused look on my face.

"Well we have some...news." She says, tears beginning to fill her eyes again.

"And what would that news be..?"

"We have been informed that this morning patient Frank Iero has committed suicide." She say, her voice shaking as she tried to get those last few words out. My jaw drops open and my face turns a ghostly white.

"He...what..?" I say, not sure if im comprehending what she said correctly.

"Please don't make me say it again." She pleads.

"Ok sorry, I just-." I don't finish my sentence before I begin sobbing. She gives me a sympathetic look, and then speaks.

"Would you like to see what he wrote on the wall?" She asks quietly.

"Yes, I would but are you not afraid im going to try to escape?" She shakes her head and I nod, following her into Franks room. We reach his room and im met with an awful sight. A dead Frank lying on the floor. It's like something that I would see in my nightmares. He's clutching a bloody tray, and the blood is still fresh, oozing from his wound. It must of not been to long ago that he killed himself. I look over at the wall and see the message written on it.

Once I finish reading it, I fall to the ground, clutching his dead body and sobbing. I would've thought that I would've gone before him, but I guess not. Maybe my timers up, maybes it's not all I know is that whether or not it is, im coming for you Frank.

I take the same tray that Frank used and cut it across my neck, slicing open the skin.

" I'm coming Frank, im never going to leave you." Those are my last words before my vision clouds.



******



I wake up to the sound of slow beeping, and soft murmuring voices all around me. I slowly open my eyes and see a crowd of nurses and doctors around me and none of the faces look familiar.

They must see the frightened look on my face because they back up a little.

"Why am I here? Where's Frank?" I question. My throat burns when I speak and I feel the large gash on my neck. What happened?

"Well.." The doctor starts. "You, ahem, tried to um kill yourself because of Franks death." He says, looking me in the eyes. I feel his gaze piercing my eyes and I look away. All of the memories come flooding back and I feel tears well my eyes again. Why couldn't I be successful at one thing! That's all I ask.

"We're going to give you a few minutes." He says, and the team of doctors and nurses leave in their large crowd. I pretend to try to fall asleep by closing my eyes when they leave, but as soon as they leave the room, I get up quickly and walk over to the counter and find the bottle of pills.

"This time I'll do it right. I'm coming for you this time Frank." I say and swallow ten of the pills. I feel my vision start to get blurry and dizzy and I hallucinate a bit before my vision has black spots, taking up more and more space by the minute until it's completely blacked out my vision, and I know in that moment that I've succeeded.

Notes

Well, that's the final chapter, and I'll admit, I cried while writing it. This has been my most successful story and I'd just like to thank everyone who took the time to read it. I'll try to have the epilogue up by tomorrow!


comment rate subscribe ^-^