All a bunch of animals

Its around three in the afternoon and its Saturday. nothing much happened for the rest of last week school wise. But Gerard and Mikey's mom told us that there is a house for sale right on the other side of the street from my house and they are moving there in a week! Miracles just keep on happening to me and i'm so thankful.

I'm hanging out with Mikey in his room. we are just basically catching up with each other. he told me that there is this girl in school named Sarah and he has a HUGE crush on her but the only thing is she is very popular and Mikey is anything but that. But hey, after what happened between me and Gerard, i believe anything is possible and i have high hopes for Mikey.

"I'm going to have a smoke Mikes... I'll be right back." i say to him.

"Alright...But i swear of you don't stop smoking those death sticks, i will kill you in your sleep when we move." he jokingly tells me. i just roll my eyes and open the door, standing there for a minute getting my cigarette out, trying not to spill my soda in my other hand.

I walk down the hall and i can see gerard. i take a few steps more and then i realize something that made my heart sink. i completely forget i have a soda and my hands so it drops, spilling all over my shoes and on the carpet.

It was Gerard kissing Lindsey! He told me she was his ex and he had no feelings for her anymore. That i was the only one he had feelings for and i was the only one he ever thinks about. well obviously not! I'm so stupid! How did i believe him!?

i push past them and run out the door. Gerard pulls away from Lindsey and runs after me but i don't stop. i hear him calling my name. "Frankie! Please just let me explain!"

I don't listen to him. I just keep running and running until i'm in front of my house. I haven't been in here for weeks. Luckily I know where mom hides they key. Under the mat. I pick up the key, unlock the door, and run to my room.

i start sobbing. I let all the emotions out. crying, screaming, kicking, and punching. my phone goes off and i look at it. Mikey is calling. I'm not in the mood to talk right now so i just ignore it and text him.

me: Not in the mood to talk...maybe later.
Mikey: Okay...but u know we have to talk about what happened.

I didn't text back after that. There's nothing i could say. He would fight me into talking about this if i said no. So i just have to agree.

Hours go by and i'm still crying. i'm definitely calmer now but i just can't stop crying. Everything is making me sad. i went into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. all that kept spinning around in my head is 'worthless idiot'. I know its true. I get reminded that i am everyday at school. And now that i thought my bully loved me. what's more idiotic than that?

Oh great! I just remembered they are moving in a week and i promised i would help them. Jesus Christ! fuck it, i'm breaking my promise. Mikey will understand. I'm also going to ditch school for the week. My mom won't find out. She is in work till 4:00 and i get out at 2:30.

*ONE WEEK LATER*
It's Friday and i skipped school for the week with no problems. But this is also the day of Gerard and Mikey moving. its only 2:00 so they are in school but i have seen there mom go in and out a bunch of times and a moving truck is there right now. They are taking out Gerard's desk and bed. I miss his bed. It was so comfy.

I basically spent the whole week curled up in a ball in the corner of my room, self pitying myself. But hey, i'm heartbroken and pain demands to be felt.

About an hour goes by and I have been staring out my window the whole time. Just waiting till I see the boy who broke me walk into his new house, right across from me. He promised me forever and we weren't even together for a full week. Thank you so much, Gerard. I appreciate it.

I see two cars pull up in their driveway. one being there mom's car, and the other Gerard's. He gets out and stares at my house for a minute, but doesn't notice that i am staring at him from my window. He then carry's some boxes into the their house and comes back out a few minutes later, sitting on the steps and having a cigarette. WOW he looks hot when he smokes...although, i think everything he does makes him look hot. Except for you know, kissing Lindsey instead of me.

I want him to notice me. I am craving his attention and have been all week. He did call me like ten times though. I guess you could call that some attention. Not enough though. Just a little more attention is needed.

I will simply sit on the porch and have a smoke too. I look like a fucking mess... But that's what I need. I need him to see how much he hurt me. My hair is a rats nest, my clothes are all wrinkled and i have huge, dark, bags under my eyes. That's what I get for not sleeping all week.

i put my shoes on, grab my ciggs, and open the door, stepping outside for the first time all week. His eyes immediately go on me. I am just looking down at my feet as I sit down on the steps. i light my cigarette and look all around. Everywhere except for him or his house. All i need is for him to stare at me, which is working out very well.

A burning ash falls onto my leg and I yell "OOW FUCK!!!" I quickly flick it off my leg.

Gerard runs to me. "Frankie are you alright?!" OF COURSE NOT YOU IDIOT!!!

"I'm fucking amazing! Can't you tell by how I look and the fact that i wasn't in school for a week? You are very silly, Gerard." i snap at him.
He puts his head down. "If you would just let me explain what happened then you'll understand. Just give me five minutes of your undivided attention."

"fine. sit down. the five minutes start now." i command.

He quickly sits down next to me and looks me right in the eyes. "It was her fault, Frankie. I heard a knock on the door, so i answered it and she just kissed me. She held on so tight to me that i couldn't pull away. I promise i wouldn't do that to you on purpose. I didn't feel anything compared to how i feel when i kissed you. You know i didn't hang out with the right people before. Bob and Bren would push a bunch of girls on me and i just thought that's how it is for everybody. I ignored my sexuality because all i would hear is how wrong it seems. But really it isn't wrong at all. All the girls who make fun of gays...they don't understand that they like dick too. Please believe me, Frankie. I'll do anything to be with you again." he says as tears form in his eyes.

should i believe him? It seems like he took a lot of time to think about what he was going to say to convince me. But i know what he will have to do for me to forgive him.

"admit that every girl you went out with was a slut. Don't get angry or offended by it because it's the past and you know it's true. They would all wear those mini skirts and skin tight shirts. you know i'm right." i say with complete seriousness.

he bursts into tears "I went out with sluts! I wasted my time with insecure and dirty girls when i could've tried to be with you! I'm so sorry Frankie! I'm sorry i made you hurt yourself and made you go home crying almost everyday! I'm such a bad person." he yells.

"How did you find that out Gerard?"

He looks up at me. "i mean i helped change what your wearing for a week. i saw the scars and marks. To make sure i was right, I made Mikey tell me. Promise me you will never ever hurt yourself again. No matter what happens to us, promise me you will not inflict anymore pain on yourself."

"I promise... You know i'm four months clean?" A smile grows on my face.

He grows a smile too. "I'm so happy for you, Frankie. " he pulls me into a hug. "i missed you."

"i missed you too, gee. But you know i'm not just going to pick up from where we were. I still have a lot to think about."

He lets go of me and nods. "i understand. i don't want you to rush yourself on this."

"Alright... You want to stay at my house for a few hours? Or do you have to help unpack?" I ask.

"No my mom said i can just unpack tomorrow. i would love to hang out with you. I've never seen what your room looks like."

"it looks like a emo teenage boy's room. not clean...posters...kinda like yours." i giggle.

He giggles too. we walk back into my house and go upstairs to my room. I wonder how this will go...

Notes

HIII! I'm so sorry it took so long to update. I have had horrible writers block. And here is a little drama! cuz no story is good without drama right? I hope you enjoy ^_^