Hospital Bed

Gerard sat at Frank’s bedside, having no expression but a blank face. Mikey was waiting outside for him, because he hated to see Gerard watching him. Gerard and Mikey had a weird relationship. They had a very close brotherly love, but they often kissed. Gerard never let it go any further, still wanting Frank to be his one and only. He still cared very much for Frank, but it had already been four years and he showed no signs of waking up soon. At least, nothing had changed in these past few years. Gerard let out a big sigh, exhausted at his lack of sleep. Ever since the relationship with Mikey had started, he couldn’t sleep well. He felt guilty. He was cheating on his fiancé with his own long-lost brother. He knew he should stop it, but he didn’t want to lose anyone else because of something he did.

“Frank, it’s been four years. I’ve tried to refrain from telling you about the date, but you need to know how long you’ve been asleep. Life is passing you by, sweetheart, and I’m already getting used to the idea of working for the rest of my life to pay for this room. I know it sounds bad to say, but we’ve always been honest with each other. I’m sorry I’ve held this in for all four years, but I just didn’t want to hurt you. I’m sure you can hear me, I’m almost positive that you can. I know you’ve been trying to wake up, but you’re just not ready yet.” He spoke with no emotion and no hesitation. He was honestly done.

“Frank, I love you so fucking much, it hurts. I’ve been here every day for the past four years waiting for you. So, please, forgive me, but I will not come here anymore. I’ll still make sure you stay in here. Taken well care of, and I’ll make sure that your parents aren’t let in, okay? I’m just so tired of watching you sleep. I’m tired of watching your life pass you by. I know I’m being selfish, especially since this was all my fault, but I can only take so much. As soon as you wake up, I’ll be here again. I’ll check in from time to time, but I can’t come every day anymore. I’ll really miss you, Frankie. Wake up soon, please,” he pleaded. His face never changed from his emotionless one as he spoke, but his heart broke as he spoke these words to the love of his life. He could never feel himself crying so he wasn’t really surprised when he felt drops of water landing on his hands which were rested on his lap. He made no move to wipe them, because he really didn’t care anymore. He stood up, and packed up all of his drawing materials slowly. He avoided looking at Frank, who still made no move on his hospital bed. He walked over to the door and called over to Mikey who was currently talking to Ray. Mikey looked over at him and noticed that he was taking his things from Frank’s room. He had questions running in his mind, but he didn’t dare ask him. Gerard never really talked anymore, especially about Frank. Ray looked at Gerard in shock. His eyes looked completely dead. It was the worst he’d ever seen Gerard. Both Mikey and Ray walked towards him.

“Hey, Gee. Where are you taking your equipment? Did someone tell you they weren’t allowed in there? Who was it so I can-“

“Ray, no one told me anything. I’m going to stop coming here. I’ll still pay for the bills, I just don’t want to watch him like that anymore. I’ll check in for time to time. Also, make sure he’s parents don’t get in here. They’ll try to take off his respirator,” Gerard explained. He gave Mikey half of the things he was holding and asked Ray to hold the other half really quick. Gerard walked back inside and stood right over Frank. He stared right down at his face, and then leaned down to kiss his forehead. He stood right back up again, and stared at him again for a moment before turning away and walking out, closing the door behind, without even looking back. He grabbed his things from Ray and then told Mikey that they were leaving.

“Gerard, what are you doing?” Mikey asked as they were putting his materials into his trunk. Gerard shrugged his shoulders.

“I just couldn’t take it anymore. I don’t know how to be happy when I think about him. I still love him to death, Mikey, but that’s exactly why I can’t watch him like that anymore,” he explained as he closed the trunk, and walked around the car and got in. Mikey stood there for a moment, but finally snapped out of his thoughts as Gerard turned on his car. As he got in, he noticed that Gerard wasn’t moving at all.

“Do you think I did the right thing just now?” Gerard asked him.

“Well, do you think you did the right thing?” He stared at Mikey for a while before backing up and pulling out of the parking lot. It was quiet on the way home, before Gerard spoke.

“Do you mind working with another person today? I’m going to call in. I think I’d really like to be alone.” Mikey felt weird about having to leave him alone, but decided it was best to let him think about everything that was going on. He nodded to answer Gerard’s question and they stayed silent the rest of the drive home.

“Thanks for understanding, Mikey,” Gerard told him as he watched him get ready for work. Gerard had just gotten off the phone with Brian and let him know what exactly had happened. He understood and gave his approval for his request to drop his shift. Before Mikey, left he hugged Gerard tightly. Gerard squeezed him back. As they pulled away, Gerard leaned down slightly to kiss the top of his head.

“I love you, Mikey,” he told his younger brother. Mikey gave him a strange look, but shook it away. He leaned in and gave Gerard a kiss on the lips before running out the door and walking to work. Even though Gerard had offered him a ride, he refused because it was cloudy and windy outside. The perfect weather for him. He was always happy during these types of days, but thinking about how Gerard was acting was damping his mood. He was positive his brother wouldn’t do anything stupid, right? He sighed and continued on his way to work.

Gerard sat on his couch staring up at the ceiling. He had a notebook resting on his lap and a pen lazily in his hand. He sighed for the tenth time before putting the pen to the notebook.

‘Dear Mikey,
No matter what you think, this isn’t your fault. I love you so much, okay? Please watch over Frank while I’m gone-‘ He stopped writing and torn the paper out before crumpling it up and throwing it on the floor along with the other poor suicide notes. He knew it was probably wrong to leave Mikey, but everything he owned, he put Mikey down as the next person it belonged to. Him and Frank. He could leave this earth knowing Mikey had money to take care of himself, and if Frank woke up, then he also had a good amount. They wouldn’t have to worry. He tossed his notebook aside and laid down on the couch, and curling up into a ball. He felt his chest hurting more than he’d ever felt it. He’d thought for a moment before bolting right up.

“What the hell is wrong with me? I love Frankie! Why did I just let Mikey go to work on his own?” He yelled to himself as he ran to the room and quickly got dressed in his work clothes. He knew, right as he ran out the door that he needed to man up. Frank was his fiancé, Mikey was his brother, Ray and Brian were his best friends, and he loved his jobs. He needed to pull himself together so Mikey had a good role model in his life and not some fucked up man that was too busy sulking around that he couldn’t give him the love he promised. He pulled out of the parking lot and drove to the theater, smiling the whole way because he couldn’t wait to see Mikey and give him the biggest hug. He couldn’t wait to tell him he loved him and kiss him. Kissing was something that became a custom. He really didn’t think it meant anything to intimate with him, because it’d become such a habit. Although, he had to tell Mikey that they probably shouldn’t do that anymore. He loved Mikey to death and would probably spend the rest of his life with him, but he was once again positive that his fiancé would wake up soon. It was a beautiful feeling that he loved to feel spread all over his body. It brought comfort and safety to his heart that he hadn’t felt in such a long time. He wasn’t sure it still existed, but here it was, once more, giving him the love he hadn’t felt in a long while. And he knew it was Frank sending his love, telling him not to give up. He chuckled as he parked his old car, and got out, quickly running inside.

“I knew you’d be here,” he heard a familiar voice say. He turned and smiled at Brian, which seemed to shock him, but he ended up smiling back. “Nice to have you back, Gee. Mikey’s waiting for you in theater 6. Your favorite.” Gerard smiled and thanked him before running off, avoiding running into the customers crowding the halls. A lot of them greeted him with a hello or a simple wave, those were the people he saw regularly and he offered a big smile back. Once he made it to theater six, he saw the door was closed meaning there was a movie playing. He made his way into the little room where they finalized and kept track of their orders, and peeked his head in. He saw Mikey typing something in the system, with his back towards him. He smiled to himself before walking up and wrapping his arms around his younger brother’s waist. He felt Mikey tense and the contact, but then relax once he felt the familiar sense surround him.

“Gee?” Mikey asked.

“I’m here, Mikey. I’m sorry. I’ll be better from now on, okay? I love you,” he told him. Mikey turned to face him, and saw the look of happiness in his eyes once more. He felt a weight lifting off his shoulders that he hadn’t realized was there. His eyes watered and he cried against Gerard as he held him tightly. Gerard comforted him by hugging him tightly and telling him that he was sorry for making him worry.

“Are you going to start seeing Frank again?” Mikey asked. Gerard smiled.

“Of course. He’s my fiancé,” he answered. Mikey smiled, but Gerard didn’t miss the hurt flashing through his eyes for a moment. The fact that he wasn’t sulking meant that he let his love for him go so Gerard, himself, could be happy. This realization made Gerard hug Mikey tighter. When they pulled away, they both had tears in their eyes, but chuckled to each other instead. It was the start of a new chapter in their lives. Maybe Frank would wake up in a few years or maybe he wouldn’t, all both of them knew was that Gerard would be there whenever he did. Or he would be the one to turn off his respirator even if it got him thrown in jail.

“Now, let’s serve the shit out of this movie. Gonna be a big crowd, right?” Gerard asked. He hadn’t checked the ticket sales, but judging by how Mikey was looking rushed, he could tell.

“Very big. But nothing you can’t handle, Gee,” Mikey chuckled and kissed his brother’s cheek. “I missed you though. Never do that shit again, all right? Or I’ll have to kick your little ass.” Gerard scoffed.

“Little? Honey, this is what they call the ideal ass!” Gerard said, giving a slight swag of his hips.

“You’re so sassy, Gee.”

“The sassiest,” Gerard giggled. The rest of the night Gerard couldn’t stop smiling because he’d finally found himself again. Mikey kept smiling because Gerard was smiling, and it never faltered. It reached his eyes and never dropped down to the floor and that was the best he’d felt in all the time he’d known Gerard. Not even their first heated kiss could compare to this.

“I’m still happy that you’re happy,” Mikey told his older brother when they were getting in his car. Gerard chuckled as he buckled himself in after getting in the car. Mikey did the same and leaned back into his seat.

“I’m going to see Frankie first thing in the morning before I go to my other job, but tonight, how about we rent a couple of movies and get some junk food and just be with each other?” Gerard asked. Even though Mikey answered with a normal sure, he knew his younger brother was excited. All Mikey had been wanting was Gerard’s attention, because he came to live with Gerard to be happy. They stopped by a late night movie store and he let Mikey go wild on all the movies he’d been wanting to see. Others thought they were weird for waiting until the movies came out on DVD because they could go see them in theaters for free, but they loved putting the movies in the DVD player and being able to pause it whenever they had to do something else. It was being able to control the movie that made them feel better. For Gerard, playing a movie was like asking Frank to wake up without him actually waking up. For Mikey, it was a little like asking Gerard to stop worrying already without asking him. After the movie shack, they headed to the store to get some junk food and unhealthy drinks because you can’t have a movie night without junk food.

“What movie should we watch first?” Mikey asked him as they arrived home.

“Well, whichever one you pick, I’ll be happy just watching it with you,” he answered as they walked inside. Gerard was taking off his shoes after locking the door and quietly humming to himself.

“Gerard, what the fuck is this?” He heard Mikey’s voice ask with malice. He quickly turned and saw Mikey holding one of the notes he’d crumpled up into.

“You were planning on killing yourself? You were going to leave me, Gerard? Alone? Just like that?” Mikey’s eyes roamed the paper before continuing, “And to make me watch over that son of a bitch in that hospital over there?”

“But I didn’t. Listen, Mikey, when I was writing that, I was only thinking about myself. I had, like, an epiphany right at that moment. I’m not leaving you, okay? I would never do that. Trust me,” Gerard explained as he looked into the younger man’s eyes. Mikey sighed and picked up the pieces of paper before tossing them in the trash.

“You’re lucky you’re cute, Gerard,” he mumbled as he plopped down on the couch and crossed his arms, letting out a little pout. Gerard chuckled as he put one of the movies in the DVD player. He grabbed a couple bags of chips and sat down next to Mikey.

“I’m really lucky to have you in my life, Mikey. I’m glad we found each other and that you’re my brother. Who knows where I’d be without you,” he paused, “I’d probably have given up a hell of a long time ago,” he finished as he put his arms around his brother and squeezed tightly.

“I love you, too, Gee,” his whispered in the crook of Gerard’s neck. The rest of their night consisted of laughing, watching movies, and eating junk food together. Gerard was spaced out a lot of the time thinking about Frank. He didn’t know what exactly was going to happen in the future, but he had hope again. The hope that had been crushed long ago was suddenly blooming again. The happiness he was feeling overwhelmed him, but he welcomed it all the more. He needed to be the best he could for Mikey, Frankie, and for himself. Hope was a good thing to have, especially in the darkest of moments. He’d go see his fiancé tomorrow and everything will be better again. He knew it would, because he had hope once again.

He and Mikey fell asleep on the couch, and they both had sore back whenever they woke up. They got ready for the day together, which was mainly spent chasing each other around the apartment with wet, twisted up towels trying to whip the other. Gerard won.

“I’m going to the hospital. Did you want to come?” He asked Mikey.

“Nah, I’m going to stay here for a while. Tell Frank I said hello,” he answered as he laid down on their bed and opened the book he’s been newly obsessed with: Beautiful Creatures. Gerard chuckled and told him bye before taking off to the hospital.

“Gerard? I thought you were going to stop coming?” Ray asked as he was about to walk into Frank’s room. Before he could answer, Ray’s pager went off and he went running the other way. Gerard was left there in shock, noting about how serious he was when it came to his patients. His smiled returned to his face as he opened the door to Frank’s room. Even though he hadn’t been gone a full 24 hours, he still looked around the room to see if anything had changed. Nothing had. It was silent in his room.

‘Wait.. Silent? What about the sound of his respirator?! In a state of panic, Gerard rushed to his bedside and put his hands on Frank’s face. He felt cold.

“Frankie? Frank!” He yelled. He sobbed and held his wrist, checking for a pulse. He waited for a bit until he calmed down and it was then that he felt his pulse. He’s alive! The door opened and a nurse came in.

“Mr. Way, we were going to call you in order to inform you, but we’re glad you’re here. It seems Mr. Iero doesn’t need help breathing anymore. I won’t give you false hope, but this is some really good news.” They talked for a little while before she took her leave. Her name was Jamia, and she was very pretty and very nice, but Gerard felt uncomfortable with the way she was looking at Frank. He shook his jealousy and insecurities away as he took hold of Frank’s hand and held it tightly.

“Everything will be better now, Frankie. I love you. So fucking much. I’ll be here every day. I was being a fucking dick by saying all those things to you. I’m sorry. I’ll never leave you again,” Gerard said as he kissed Frank deeply.

Watching them from the little window was Frank’s nurse, Jamia. Her heart clenched in her chest. She was in love with Gerard. She felt guilty thinking that Frank didn’t deserve his love. She wanted to be with him, and she didn’t want anything to stop her. Not even herself. She turned and walked away from their room, continuing on her rounds.

Notes

I def would've posted up sooner, but I lost my flashdrive and it had this chapter on it x.x I found it yesterday and finally got the chance to finish it and posted it up. Hopefully it isn't complete shit and you guys actually like it!
Enjoy! <3 Feedback would be amazingly sexy of you guys!! ;D

-OAIF <3