I sat up on the bed, looking over at Gerard’s sleeping figure for a moment before standing and gathering my clothes to get dressed. I grabbed a piece of paper and pen from his bedside that he used to write on before bedtime and scribbled down a small message:

I love you -Frank

I slipped my shoes on and took one last look at him before heading out the door, locking it behind me so I wouldn’t be tempted to go back in and also for his safety. As the door closed shut behind me, my eyes watered, knowing that was my last time seeing him. I walked back to my own home to start packing the things I could take with me.

I waited for the bus to pick me up. It was an hour away from my departure and a part of me hoped Gerard would show up to give me one last breathtaking kiss, but he didn’t even know where I was. I’d messaged Lindsey his address earlier to give it to him, but I didn’t know when she was going to do it. She mentioned wanting to see me off but I hadn’t answered that yet. I wasn’t sure I wanted anyone to see me so defeated and yet so free at the same time other than Gerard.

“Frank!” I heard someone call out. My heart sped up, hoping it was who I wished so badly for it to be, but I knew it wasn’t. I turned to see Lindsey running down the platform. I waved, still sitting in my spot. Once she reached me, she sat down next to me out of breath.

“What are you doing here?” I asked. I don’t know if that sounded rude, I was just curious. She nudged me with her shoulder.

“Well, I didn’t want you getting on that bus and having no one to turn back and wave to, so I thought I’d show up.” I smiled at her, honestly grateful for that. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I looked back and saw no one there.

“Thank you,” he responded. They sat there in silence before she spoke.

“I haven’t given it to him yet. I was going to wait until after you left,” she explained. I nodded.

“I understand. That’s probably for the best,” I answered. Gerard would probably run to the only bus station and try to see me off. Thing is, if he did that, I would no longer want to leave. An hour passed by quicker than I thought it would and the bus was arriving. She and I both stood as it came to a stop and its doors opened. “Looks like this is it,” I said softly, looking over at her. She nodded.

“Yeah, looks like it is,” she said. We stared at each other for a moment before I dropped my bag and pulled her into a hug.

“Thank you, Lindsey, so much. I’ll never forget what you’ve done for us. Take care of yourself,” I mumbled into her shoulder, tears coming to his eyes as I thought about Gerard. I would miss his face, his laughter, his eyes, his smile, the way he talked from one side of his mouth more than the other. I would miss listening to the Beatles with him, and watching him fangirl over the Wizard of Oz. I’d miss how closely he held me when I was in his arms, and the way he kissed me when he felt like I needed to be closer. I’d miss his body so close to me when we made love. I’d miss everything about Gerard Way.

“Be safe out there, Frank,” she said, hugging me back tightly. We pulled away and I picked up my bag, walking up to the bus and getting on. I take a seat in the very back, one of the only available seats and look back out the window. I see Lindsey looking at me with a proud kind of smile and waving at me. I wave back and as the bus drives away, I continue to look at her before I see a figure running across the platform. My eyes widen and I quickly turn back around, tightly closing my eyes before staring straight forward, and looking towards my future.

Gerard.

*

I awoke that morning to an empty bed. The sheets were cold just as my body felt. My home was empty, just as my heart was. I spotted a note on my bedside table and cried as I read it. I took off my bed sheets and washed them so I didn’t have to smell him when I went to bed. I took a shower to scrub my body of his scent, but I wouldn’t forget his smell. I thought about going to look for him, but I’m sure he just needed a few days to gather himself and what he wanted.

I spent the whole day watching different movies and thinking about Frank. I thought about how wonderful he looked last night and how good he was to me. I thought about how we came together and how I despised his attitude towards me, but it soon became endearing. I thought about getting to know the other side of Frank that he didn’t let anyone see. I thought about how tough it must have been to let me in. I thought about how hurt he must have been when he had to let me go.

I drove to Frank’s apartment, having enough of the silent treatment from him. I wanted to spend as much time with him as possible before he left, so I was determined to get that time, damn it. I parked in the shitty parking lot and got out the car, walking up to his apartment number and knocking on the door. I waited. No answer. So I knocked again and waited. No answer. I sighed. I didn’t want to play this game anymore.

“Frank! Open the door!” I yelled, knocking again. Nothing. I groaned, frustrated with the guy. I couldn’t believe he was doing this to me. I wanted to be with him and we’d been through so much together that it couldn’t just end like this. I couldn’t let that happen.

“Oh, sweetie, he already left,” I heard a voice call from below me. I leaned over the edge to see Evelyn.

“Hi, Evelyn. What do you mean he already left?” I asked, raising a brow.

“To the Army. He left about an hour ago,” she explained. My eyes widened and my heart sped up as I rushed down the stairs.

“How- when- where was he going to get picked up?” I asked frantically. I needed to catch him and see him off. I needed to hold him and kiss him one last time until God knows when. Evelyn gave me a type of knowing smile, catching me off guard.

“The bus station, honey,” she answered. “Good luck, dear.” And then she turned to go back inside her home.

“Thank you,” I said quickly before running back to my car and getting it, speeding to the bus station in the next town over. It was the closest, so that must have been the one he was getting picked up at. I couldn’t let him go without anyone there for him to say goodbye to. He was the love of my life and I could just let him do that to myself. Why didn’t I ever ask him when he was leaving? I hit my steering wheel as I caught a red light and reluctantly slowed to a stop.

The light seemed to take fucking forever to turn green and when it finally did, I stepped on the gas and made my way into the next town. The bus station was on the other side and I groaned because it seemed as though the world was against me getting there.

Finally, it came into sight and I pulled into a parking space crooked like an asshole, but I couldn’t care less. This was Frank I was running to. I jumped out of my car and ran up to the platform since these things weren’t well secured in these small towns. I saw one other person there waving at a bus that was driving away. As I got closer to the person, I recognized it to be Lindsey.

“L-Lindsey?” I said, cautiously. “What are you doing here?” I asked. She turned at my voice and gave me an apologetic smile.

“I… I was seeing Frank off. His bus just left,” she explained. My eyes darted to the bus in the distance and before I could attempt to chase it down, she shoved an envelope in my hands. “This is from him. He gave it to me on graduation day and asked me to give it to you today.” I grabbed the envelope and quickly opened it. I pulled out the letter and slowly opened it. My eyes scanned the words and worked the sentence through my mind before tears sprang to my eyes and I let them fall.

“Frankie…” My voice cracked. Lindsey gave me a sad smile and patted me on the shoulder before walking away, sure enough knowing that there was nothing she could do for us.

I would miss his face, his laughter, his eyes, his smile, the way his eyes lit up when he talked about going into the Army. I would miss listening to the Beatles with him, and laughing about me fangirling over the Wizard of Oz. I’d miss how closely he held me when I was in his arms, and the way he kissed me when he felt like I needed to be closer. I’d miss his body so close to me when we made love. I’d miss everything about Frank Iero.

I looked in the direction the bus had gone in and closed my eyes tightly, trying to move time back childishly, but knowing it was impossible. Frank was gone and I’d missed him. Maybe we’d meet again. I could only hope so. I was already content with being alone for the rest of my life if graduation was the last night I’d be seeing him.

So I’d wait.

Notes

Much Love,
-OAIF <3