In My Mind Only

It had been two months and I was feeling worse every day. I’d seen Frank at school, but he never paid me any attention no matter what I did. I eventually stopped texting and calling him when he made it apparent that he wasn’t going to answer. I stopped approaching him at school, because he would pay me no attention, and only talked to me when he had a question and even then, he used a very distant tone. As if we’d never watched many movies together, or eaten any dinners together, as if he and I were nothing but teacher and student. It bothered me, because he seemed to go back to his old self. His company was still being disrespectful, and he and Jealousy were doing horrible, but she refused to break up with him.

Ray and I were a lot closer, and have decided that we would date after he graduates. It was a relationship that pretty much had no title. We didn’t treat each other differently, because we were still teacher and student. Ray also indirectly keeps me updated on Frank and Jealousy’s relationship. They were still together, but I hear they barely talk. Every day, Frank looked worse and worse and I wanted nothing more to hold him, but I couldn’t because I couldn’t even get close enough to touch him, because he never allowed me.

I’d just gotten home from work and looked around my apartment, feeling its emptiness hit me all at once. I struggled to breathe almost and that was enough to feel the loneliness about my home without Frank. I sighed as I looked at my trashcan filled with a bunch of fast food bags, because I hadn’t cooked since Frank left.

“I’ll start today,” I said as I walked over to the counter and opened one of the cabinets. I pulled out my favorite pot, not looking because I never put anything out of place. I took it out and looked at it, gasping at the contents inside. I put it down on the counter and picked up the DVD copy of the Wizard of Oz, and rubbed my eyes to stop them from spilling tears.

“Did he accidentally leave this here?” I asked myself. No, there’s no way he accidentally forgot it in a place like this. No, he wanted me to find it. He wants me to find him, I conclude. I trip over myself running to my school bag to grab my phone. Once I had it in my hand, I froze. It’d been over a month since I’d called him, and if he didn’t answer me then, why would he answer now?

Fuck it.

I dialed his number and listened to each ring, growing more and more discouraged as each one passed.

“Yes?” He answered. I almost wanted to scoff at the way he said it.

“F-Frank?” I sputtered out.

“Yes, I’m Frank.” I sighed and remained silent for a little bit.

“I found it,” I said lowly.

“Speak louder.”

“I found your copy of the Wizard of OZ,” I said more clearly.

“Oh,” he said, “I’ve been looking for that. Would you like to come and return it?” He asked. My heart started pounding. I was going to see him.

“Yeah, sure. Are you back at your parents’ house?” I asked.

“Ew, no. I’m living at my own place. You know that old looking taqueria on 74th street?” He asked. I searched my mind.

“Yeah, that’s a few blocks away from my home, right?”

“That’s the one. I live in the little complex with across from it. Apartment B15, second floor. I’ll see you when you get here,” he said and then hung up before I had a chance to respond.

“Well, his manners didn’t get any better either,” I mumbled as I slipped on my shoes. I turned on my porch lights as I was living because I knew it would be dark by the time I returned home. It took me longer than I thought to actually arrive at Frank’s door, because I’d gotten lost and then turned back when I changed my mind. I knocked on the door and a minute later I was face to face with the boy who’d been avoiding me for months now. He smiled a bit and then stepped aside to let me in.

“Thanks for returning it, Gerard. I’ve been wanting to watch again. Care to watch with me?” He asked. I nodded and took a seat on his couch after kicking my shoes off. He chuckled at my behavior and I touched my ear, feeling my cheeks heat up. It’d been so long since I’d heard him chuckle. As he was putting the DVD in, I took that opportunity to look around. It was a decent looking place, even though it were a bit on the small side. The wall were completely white, and I took it that he hadn’t decorated which was completely like him.

“Oh, yeah, I’ve been wondering,” Frank started as he sat down next to me.

“Hm?” I hummed as I looked at him.

“How are we doing with the script and the tests?” He asked. At first, I was confused by what he’d meant, until the beginning of the Wizard of Oz started. I laughed remembering my bet to the kids two months ago. We were almost done with the script. Only 5 more scenes.

“All 100s so far. I’m seriously fucking amazed. It’s unbelievable what kids will do what they want to embarrass their teachers,” I laughed. Frank gave me a look, then scoffed.

“Yeah, only you won’t be embarrassed, will you? You’ve been hoping that everyone would make 100s. I know you, Gerard.” He gave me a smile as I nodded at his statement. We continued watching the movie for a good half hour until Frank spoke again.

“I would’ve loved to see you dressed as Dorothy, you know,” he spoke thoughtfully. As if he were talking to me in his head instead of actually to me.

“What makes you think you won’t? Don’t have faith in your classmates?” I teased. He gave a small smile as he turned to look at me.

“I’m switching schools.” I sat up straighter at the news.

“What?” I asked. I don’t think I heard him correctly. But I know I did, because he just drops his smile and turns back to the television to watch the movie. Eventually, I do as well, because I know that after this night, I will probably never see Frankie again. And I’m not okay with that. But I have to be.

We sit in silence.

Notes

This is one of my shortest and shittiest chapters, holy shit. I'm so fucking sorry to the people following this story and maybe hoping for a badass chapter. Updating Hospital Bed in a few days hopefully. I'm just not feeling like myself.
Anyway, enjoy. Feedback would be awesome.

-OAIF..