You Said You Read Me Like A Book But The Pages All Are Torn And Frayed
Chapter 2
Frank POV
The rest of the day goes pretty quickly, I hang with Mikey, who pops in to see Gerard and beg him to get him a coffee a couple of times but mostly we don’t see him that much. Ideally I’d spend the entire day sat on his desk chatting but I have to control myself. This does mean that by the time I’m sat at the back of the art room with Mikey next to me, waiting for Gerard to arrive, the build up of butterflies seems insurmountable.
“I-is h-h-he a-always thisss l-late?” I ask under my breath, nudging Mikey, glancing up at the clock telling me the lesson started 10minutes ago.
Suddenly the door swings open and a flustered blur of glowing red hair dashes in and dumps his stuff on his desk.
“Hey, sorry I’m late, I’m Mr Way” he starts, leaving me transfixed. I hear Mikey let out a tiny snicker and watch as Gerard glares at him “Some of you may know me already, I’m working part time as the school therapist but now I’m here to teach you art”
The class hum in response and he begins to take the register. Oh shit. I practice the word ‘here’ under my breath, failing each time, only getting myself more worked up. H-here. He-h-here. H-he-h-here.
“Frank Iero”
“h-h-he-ere”
Well that went tits up. He doesn’t react and continues reading out names, in fact I think he shoots me a tiny smile but I might of made that up. Either way, I feel a moment of relief, helped by Mikey giving my arm a friendly squeeze.
I zone out slightly and find myself absentmindedly staring at Gerard explaining the task but not taking in any information. From what’s on the board I figure out that our next project will be centered around expressing emotion through visual art. We have to pick one of 3 themes, electricity, wildlife or horror. I know which one I’m picking. He hands out the sheets of paper and I feel familiar butterflies as he gets closer to us.
“Do you two both know what you’re doing?” he asks laying two blank sheets of paper on our desk.
“Yes Mr Way” Mikey mocks.
“Piss off” He mutters under his breath before turning to me “What about you Frank?”
I awkwardly smile and shrug slightly, not wanting to speak.
“This projects on conveying emotion through visual arts, we’re gonna be spending this lesson brainstorming so pick one of the themes on the board and jot down some ideas, whatever you like” he explains, smiling at me and tucking a few strands of hair behind his ear. They fall back forward almost immediately.
I nod and smile back at him. He hovers for a moment before Mikey shoos him away. I get my piece of paper and think for a few minutes. I’m almost definitely doing horror. It’s easy to express anger I mean you could draw a murderer with a dagger and do it all scribbley. Sadness could be maybe a calmer version of the same thing. Fear is self explanatory. I wonder if you could express happiness through horror. It’s out of the box but it could work. I begin badly sketching out my ideas before becoming aware of a figure looking over my shoulder.
“This looks interesting Frank, I assume you’re doing horror” he comments encouraging me to explain.
“Uh y-yeah I uh w-was t-th-thinking a-anger a-and f-f-fear are p-pr-pretty s-self ex-pl-plana-t-tory ev-ven s-sadnesss b-but w-what if h-happiness c-could a-also b-be e-ex-p-pressed th-t-thr-ough h-horror?” I explain quietly.
“Thats a cool idea I mean I’d imagine killing your worst enemy or an annoying family member” he glares at Mikey “could be almost enjoyable”
I nod.
“M-maybe y-you c-could a-also b-be uh k-killing o-off a s-side t-to y-yourself i-in order t-to a-achievvve l-long t-term h-happiness” I suggest “s-sorry b-bit d-deep”
“No that’s really great. It could work the other way too like it could show how momentary happiness, when looking at the bigger picture could also be a horror scene to those around you more,and even hurt them and yourself, say if it comes in the form of sex or drugs or uh alcohol”
As soon as those words leave his lips my mind immediately darts to my scars and I can tell his darts to a little horrific momentary happiness of his own. I ache to ask what it is but before I find a way to phrase it, he’s smiling and heading back to the front of the class. Lucky I guess. I zone out as he talks again, watching him run his hand through his red locks and talk to the class. I note how only one side of his mouth moves and how it turns up slightly at the corner if someone suggests something he likes.
“Frank?” Gerard calls suddenly, snapping me out my stupor “Do you wanna share your ideas? You don’t have to”
I look around and he nods reassuringly. I shrug. He frowns slightly.
“I-I d-d-don’t m-mind” I stutter quietly. I wish the floor would open up as I hear echoes of ‘f-f-fag’ as people laugh and take the piss. My cheeks on fire, I mouth ‘sorry’ to Gerard, but instead of it being received by the calm compassionate expression I’m used to, his lips are pressed together, eyebrows furrowed and I can almost see the steam leaving his ears.
“Bert McCracken! Principal’s office. Now.” He yells, the room almost shaking. The class look on shocked. To my surprise, Bert does as he’s told and slips out cursing under his breath. “I’m normally a pretty laid back teacher and I try not to shout but I will not tolerate homophobia and ableism. If anyone else dares participate in hateful behaviour on my watch I will not hesitate to suspend you. Do you understand me?” He growls.
Everyone nods still surprised by the outburst. I glance sideways to Mikey who looks like he just saw a ghost and become aware of the fact my jaw is hanging open. I watch as Gerard turns back to me, his expression softening.
“Sorry about that Frankie, carry on if you want but don’t worry, you don’t have to” He smiles. I shrug again and luckily Mikey’s hand shoots up.
“Gerard Way-”
“Mr Way”
“Gerard Way, I have lived with you most of my life and I have never seen you shout quite like that before, where the hell did that come from?” He asks. The class collectively gasp for the second time, I think that’s the most Mikey’s ever said in class the whole time we’ve been here.
“Probably all the bottled up frustration of having to live with and now teach my annoying little brother” Gerard laughs. The class gasp for the third time.
“Wait are you brothers?” some girl interjects.
“No, Gabrielle, we simply happen to share the same name and I just go round picking random pupils to take the piss out of” He comments sarcastically “Anyway, Mikey do you actually have any ideas to share?”
Mikey begins to quietly explain some of his ideas, suddenly not so comfortable with public speaking again. The rest of the lesson goes quickly, mostly taken up with Gerard chatting to the class. At the end me and Mikey stay seated and Gerard perches on our desk.
“Th-thanks f-for s-st-sticking u-up f-for mme” I murmur, realising how lame it sounds a split second later.
“Ohh, dude it was nothing, people are fucking dickheads”
I hum in agreement.
“You can’t say that about a student, I could report you” Mikey teases “Seriously though bro, that was unexpected but good on you, no one’s gonna mess with you after today”
Gerard seems to go almost shy, running his hands through his hair going a little pink, thanking him.
“You alright though Frankie? I almost asked in class but didn’t wanna make anymore of a fuss I mean I shouldn’t of picked on you in the first place” He sighs.
“N-no, i-it’ss f-fine d-don’t worry, I-I’m g-good” I assure him but he doesn’t seem convinced.
“Are they always douches like that to you?”
“Y-yeah b-but I-I d-don’t c-care”
“It must still affect you though”
It does but I shrug.
“I-it’s f-fine r-rreally”
“Okay, if you’re sure, remember you can always come and find me and talk about it if you want to”
“Sorry to interrupt your little date but are we actually going to go home today or not?” Mikey interrupts.
“Yes, I mean it’s not like you can walk home yourself but yes I will give you a ride just give me a few minutes me and Frank need to schedule our next session” Gerard says, getting up to go and get his diary off his desk.
“I don’t think we have anymore free periods that overlap this week” He frowns “The next time we’re both free is Wednesday next week, do you wanna wait until then or miss a lesson beforehand”
I shrug.
“M-miss a-a l-lesson?”
“Okay, which subject do you hate most?”
“M-mathhhs”
He looks down into his diary for a moment, thinking.
“Friday, last lesson you have maths and I don’t have anything all afternoon, do you wanna do it then?”
“O-okay”
He smiles and stands up.
“Can we go now?” Mikey whines.
“Yeah, I can do grading later, Frank do you want a ride?”
As much as it pains me to do so, I reject the offer, leaving Gerard looking almost dismayed. I have to walk and meet my Mum along the way with my dog and take him for a walk while she goes shopping. We pack away our stuff and walk through the corridor, Mikey and Gerard talking. I overhear that Gerard lives in a flat alone but is going round Mikey’s but if anything kicks off Mikey can stay round his. From what I can tell their family relationship is fractured to say the least but I don’t wanna ask questions.
“I gotta grab something from the staffroom quickly” Gerard tells us suddenly. Mikey groans.
“O-okay, I s-sh-should p-probably g-go n-now any-w-way” I say.
“See ya dude” Mikey smiles.
“S-see y-you” I reply. I turn to Gerard and for a moment wonder what the appropriate way to say goodbye would be.
“See you, Frankie, stay safe yeah” He murmurs.
I nod, shoot him a smile and hastily walk away, waving behind me.
***
The next day, Wednesday, goes quite smoothly. I don’t have art or therapy and don’t want to appear clingy but still find myself in Gerard’s classroom because of Mikey. I mainly just listen to them chat, not really joining in myself. We smile and wave when we pass eachother in the corridor but he is constantly in the forefront of my mind. I’m really crushing on him and this has to stop, he’s a fucking teacher, I could never have him. It’s not even that he’s insanely hot, which he is, but he’s also so caring and the way he smiles at me provides a comfort like no other. I want to spend every second in his presence but to him I’m just another sad patient he has a duty to look out for. I mean after all I can’t even talk, honestly a stutter is the least sexy thing. ‘F-f-fuck m-mmme’. Yeah that’d have the power to turn any erection into jelly. Not that I’ll be finding myself near any erections other than my own anytime soon, not a single person would dream of taking me to their bedroom. And that includes the guy I would want to more than anyone else.
The rest of the day goes pretty quickly, I hang with Mikey, who pops in to see Gerard and beg him to get him a coffee a couple of times but mostly we don’t see him that much. Ideally I’d spend the entire day sat on his desk chatting but I have to control myself. This does mean that by the time I’m sat at the back of the art room with Mikey next to me, waiting for Gerard to arrive, the build up of butterflies seems insurmountable.
“I-is h-h-he a-always thisss l-late?” I ask under my breath, nudging Mikey, glancing up at the clock telling me the lesson started 10minutes ago.
Suddenly the door swings open and a flustered blur of glowing red hair dashes in and dumps his stuff on his desk.
“Hey, sorry I’m late, I’m Mr Way” he starts, leaving me transfixed. I hear Mikey let out a tiny snicker and watch as Gerard glares at him “Some of you may know me already, I’m working part time as the school therapist but now I’m here to teach you art”
The class hum in response and he begins to take the register. Oh shit. I practice the word ‘here’ under my breath, failing each time, only getting myself more worked up. H-here. He-h-here. H-he-h-here.
“Frank Iero”
“h-h-he-ere”
Well that went tits up. He doesn’t react and continues reading out names, in fact I think he shoots me a tiny smile but I might of made that up. Either way, I feel a moment of relief, helped by Mikey giving my arm a friendly squeeze.
I zone out slightly and find myself absentmindedly staring at Gerard explaining the task but not taking in any information. From what’s on the board I figure out that our next project will be centered around expressing emotion through visual art. We have to pick one of 3 themes, electricity, wildlife or horror. I know which one I’m picking. He hands out the sheets of paper and I feel familiar butterflies as he gets closer to us.
“Do you two both know what you’re doing?” he asks laying two blank sheets of paper on our desk.
“Yes Mr Way” Mikey mocks.
“Piss off” He mutters under his breath before turning to me “What about you Frank?”
I awkwardly smile and shrug slightly, not wanting to speak.
“This projects on conveying emotion through visual arts, we’re gonna be spending this lesson brainstorming so pick one of the themes on the board and jot down some ideas, whatever you like” he explains, smiling at me and tucking a few strands of hair behind his ear. They fall back forward almost immediately.
I nod and smile back at him. He hovers for a moment before Mikey shoos him away. I get my piece of paper and think for a few minutes. I’m almost definitely doing horror. It’s easy to express anger I mean you could draw a murderer with a dagger and do it all scribbley. Sadness could be maybe a calmer version of the same thing. Fear is self explanatory. I wonder if you could express happiness through horror. It’s out of the box but it could work. I begin badly sketching out my ideas before becoming aware of a figure looking over my shoulder.
“This looks interesting Frank, I assume you’re doing horror” he comments encouraging me to explain.
“Uh y-yeah I uh w-was t-th-thinking a-anger a-and f-f-fear are p-pr-pretty s-self ex-pl-plana-t-tory ev-ven s-sadnesss b-but w-what if h-happiness c-could a-also b-be e-ex-p-pressed th-t-thr-ough h-horror?” I explain quietly.
“Thats a cool idea I mean I’d imagine killing your worst enemy or an annoying family member” he glares at Mikey “could be almost enjoyable”
I nod.
“M-maybe y-you c-could a-also b-be uh k-killing o-off a s-side t-to y-yourself i-in order t-to a-achievvve l-long t-term h-happiness” I suggest “s-sorry b-bit d-deep”
“No that’s really great. It could work the other way too like it could show how momentary happiness, when looking at the bigger picture could also be a horror scene to those around you more,and even hurt them and yourself, say if it comes in the form of sex or drugs or uh alcohol”
As soon as those words leave his lips my mind immediately darts to my scars and I can tell his darts to a little horrific momentary happiness of his own. I ache to ask what it is but before I find a way to phrase it, he’s smiling and heading back to the front of the class. Lucky I guess. I zone out as he talks again, watching him run his hand through his red locks and talk to the class. I note how only one side of his mouth moves and how it turns up slightly at the corner if someone suggests something he likes.
“Frank?” Gerard calls suddenly, snapping me out my stupor “Do you wanna share your ideas? You don’t have to”
I look around and he nods reassuringly. I shrug. He frowns slightly.
“I-I d-d-don’t m-mind” I stutter quietly. I wish the floor would open up as I hear echoes of ‘f-f-fag’ as people laugh and take the piss. My cheeks on fire, I mouth ‘sorry’ to Gerard, but instead of it being received by the calm compassionate expression I’m used to, his lips are pressed together, eyebrows furrowed and I can almost see the steam leaving his ears.
“Bert McCracken! Principal’s office. Now.” He yells, the room almost shaking. The class look on shocked. To my surprise, Bert does as he’s told and slips out cursing under his breath. “I’m normally a pretty laid back teacher and I try not to shout but I will not tolerate homophobia and ableism. If anyone else dares participate in hateful behaviour on my watch I will not hesitate to suspend you. Do you understand me?” He growls.
Everyone nods still surprised by the outburst. I glance sideways to Mikey who looks like he just saw a ghost and become aware of the fact my jaw is hanging open. I watch as Gerard turns back to me, his expression softening.
“Sorry about that Frankie, carry on if you want but don’t worry, you don’t have to” He smiles. I shrug again and luckily Mikey’s hand shoots up.
“Gerard Way-”
“Mr Way”
“Gerard Way, I have lived with you most of my life and I have never seen you shout quite like that before, where the hell did that come from?” He asks. The class collectively gasp for the second time, I think that’s the most Mikey’s ever said in class the whole time we’ve been here.
“Probably all the bottled up frustration of having to live with and now teach my annoying little brother” Gerard laughs. The class gasp for the third time.
“Wait are you brothers?” some girl interjects.
“No, Gabrielle, we simply happen to share the same name and I just go round picking random pupils to take the piss out of” He comments sarcastically “Anyway, Mikey do you actually have any ideas to share?”
Mikey begins to quietly explain some of his ideas, suddenly not so comfortable with public speaking again. The rest of the lesson goes quickly, mostly taken up with Gerard chatting to the class. At the end me and Mikey stay seated and Gerard perches on our desk.
“Th-thanks f-for s-st-sticking u-up f-for mme” I murmur, realising how lame it sounds a split second later.
“Ohh, dude it was nothing, people are fucking dickheads”
I hum in agreement.
“You can’t say that about a student, I could report you” Mikey teases “Seriously though bro, that was unexpected but good on you, no one’s gonna mess with you after today”
Gerard seems to go almost shy, running his hands through his hair going a little pink, thanking him.
“You alright though Frankie? I almost asked in class but didn’t wanna make anymore of a fuss I mean I shouldn’t of picked on you in the first place” He sighs.
“N-no, i-it’ss f-fine d-don’t worry, I-I’m g-good” I assure him but he doesn’t seem convinced.
“Are they always douches like that to you?”
“Y-yeah b-but I-I d-don’t c-care”
“It must still affect you though”
It does but I shrug.
“I-it’s f-fine r-rreally”
“Okay, if you’re sure, remember you can always come and find me and talk about it if you want to”
“Sorry to interrupt your little date but are we actually going to go home today or not?” Mikey interrupts.
“Yes, I mean it’s not like you can walk home yourself but yes I will give you a ride just give me a few minutes me and Frank need to schedule our next session” Gerard says, getting up to go and get his diary off his desk.
“I don’t think we have anymore free periods that overlap this week” He frowns “The next time we’re both free is Wednesday next week, do you wanna wait until then or miss a lesson beforehand”
I shrug.
“M-miss a-a l-lesson?”
“Okay, which subject do you hate most?”
“M-mathhhs”
He looks down into his diary for a moment, thinking.
“Friday, last lesson you have maths and I don’t have anything all afternoon, do you wanna do it then?”
“O-okay”
He smiles and stands up.
“Can we go now?” Mikey whines.
“Yeah, I can do grading later, Frank do you want a ride?”
As much as it pains me to do so, I reject the offer, leaving Gerard looking almost dismayed. I have to walk and meet my Mum along the way with my dog and take him for a walk while she goes shopping. We pack away our stuff and walk through the corridor, Mikey and Gerard talking. I overhear that Gerard lives in a flat alone but is going round Mikey’s but if anything kicks off Mikey can stay round his. From what I can tell their family relationship is fractured to say the least but I don’t wanna ask questions.
“I gotta grab something from the staffroom quickly” Gerard tells us suddenly. Mikey groans.
“O-okay, I s-sh-should p-probably g-go n-now any-w-way” I say.
“See ya dude” Mikey smiles.
“S-see y-you” I reply. I turn to Gerard and for a moment wonder what the appropriate way to say goodbye would be.
“See you, Frankie, stay safe yeah” He murmurs.
I nod, shoot him a smile and hastily walk away, waving behind me.
***
The next day, Wednesday, goes quite smoothly. I don’t have art or therapy and don’t want to appear clingy but still find myself in Gerard’s classroom because of Mikey. I mainly just listen to them chat, not really joining in myself. We smile and wave when we pass eachother in the corridor but he is constantly in the forefront of my mind. I’m really crushing on him and this has to stop, he’s a fucking teacher, I could never have him. It’s not even that he’s insanely hot, which he is, but he’s also so caring and the way he smiles at me provides a comfort like no other. I want to spend every second in his presence but to him I’m just another sad patient he has a duty to look out for. I mean after all I can’t even talk, honestly a stutter is the least sexy thing. ‘F-f-fuck m-mmme’. Yeah that’d have the power to turn any erection into jelly. Not that I’ll be finding myself near any erections other than my own anytime soon, not a single person would dream of taking me to their bedroom. And that includes the guy I would want to more than anyone else.
Notes
Hey :)
i updated yo
Not making promises but i *may* be able to get a second update up tonight. It'll probably be a bit shorter tho.
You may have noticed (okay i doubt you've noticed) i changed my mind about gerard being demisexual, he is now simply pansexual and I've changed the rating to NC17 (wink wink nudge nudge). Okay it's not gonna suddenly become pure porn, but may be the odd scene and sexualness here and there if i'm not too awks to write it. Like the next chapter.
Megan x
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ty <3
10/29/15