Please Don't Take This Out On Me

There was a knock on the door and I looked up immidietely.
I spent the last 5 hours in my room studying for school and taking naps. It was very exhausting just doing nothing in bed all day and I actually wished I was in class. Then at least I'd be with Mikey goofing off and throwing stuff at him instead of doing a shit ton of prep for exams.
"Come in," I said softly and the door opened to reveal him. Him.
The man who hurt me and shook me up badly enough I had to miss school. I couldn't deal with him anymore.
"P-please l-leave-" I said; voice shaking. Was he here to rape me again? Maybe this time Mikey wouldn't be able to save me.
"I brought your homework, sweetheart." His voice practically melted me and all of a sudden I wanted to hear him call me every pet name in the book. It's strange how my thoughts on him change every single damn time he does something.
I nodded a bit and he stepped forward. I took the worksheets from him and groaned as I saw all of the subjects I needed to catch up on. I was on the verge of crying due to anxiety and started shaking a bit. I couldn't do this, I couldn't do this, I was so damn tired I couldn't do all of my fucking work sheets-
"Baby?" I jumped a bit and looked up into Gerard's gentle expression; tears spilling from my eyes. "Don't cry, sweetheart please," Gerard said softly. He sat down beside me and wiped away my tears with his thumb gently before pressing a kiss to my temple.
I closed my eyes and heaved a sigh. "I c-can't d-do this G-Gerard I'm so t-tired-" Gerard cut me off by kissing the corner of my mouth gently. I whimpered a bit; trying to turn my head to kiss him when he sighed and pushed me away.
"Homework first, then kisses." I nodded and opened up my first of seven worksheets and Gerard shifted a bit; pulling me onto his lap and pushing my head down onto his chest so he was hugging me from behind and I was extremely comfortable.
"I'm gonna hold you for a bit, is that okay?" Gerard asked and I nodded gratefully. "Th-thank you."
"No worries at all."
All was silent, except for me scribbling down answers with my pen and Gerard occasionally kissing my cheek gently. I appreciated him here a lot, he made me so happy sometimes.
Sometimes.
He has raped me, violated me, abused me, made me feel worthless, and broke my heart but he has also held me, took care of me, soothed me, and made me feel better.
It's strange how one person could make me feel so many damn emotions. Honestly I was so head over heels for Gerard it was crazy but at other times I would be crying my heart out and hating him. That was his thing. Messing with my brain. He'd probably leave me for someone way better. Someone who could give him everything and liked sex and alcohol and I'd be left alone. I'd be heartbroken and no one would be there to pick up the pieces. Except maybe Mikey but Bob would probably scare him off.
"Frankie sweetheart are you okay?" I jolted back to reality and noticed my hands were shaking quite badly. I wanted to kill Gerard for hurting me and wanted to kiss him for making me feel better. Sigh.
"Y-yeah wh-why?" I casually asked and saw Gerard raise an eyebrow. "Baby... you've been doodling for the past five minutes instead of working."
I blushed and looked down at my paper. There was half a report on the Great Wall Of China and the rest was just shitty drawings of cartoon hearts.
I groaned in frustration when I realized that I had stupidly used a pen to write my fucking report and couldn't erase it. And I couldn't exactly hand in to my History teacher a paper with fucking heart doodles on it.
How would I explain that to her? 'Hi I was just casually thinking about my hot sort of not exactly boyfriend and got distracted from this stupid fucking paper you made me write?'
Not exactly.
I started to cry again; realizing I was only halfway done my homework and it was 3am. There was no way I could finish before 7!!!
"Frankie? Put that down please." I threw my notebook at the wall; which bounced off but thankfully landed onto the soft carpet and spun around to face Gerard. "Wh-what."
"You'll finish the rest later. Go to sleep baby you need it." I was too exhausted to argue and I was crying for fuck's sakes so I closed my eyes and snuggled into Gerard's warm chest. He wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly as I fell asleep right away.
Sometimes you need to feel like you're loved, even if you're not sure they really love you.

Notes

Hey, loves!
Here's some fluff for y'all cuz you deserve it after what I've put you through <3 enjoy :3