It started with nothing

Well if I said that I’m confused and scared, just a few minutes ago, now I’m more than confused and more than freaking out. I think that if Gerard wasn’t holding me in his arms, I may have fainted, fallen to the floor… and potentially die.

“I.. I … Uhmm…” Oh nice, Frank, nice.

“Don’t worry, Frankie, it will be okay.” Gerard said in calm voice. Ugh well, that reassurance will sure help me.

“Gerard, I, I…” I stuttered again. Damn. Stop it!

“Shhh.” He murmured and held me tighter. Okay, this will be awkward.

“Gerard I don’t think… I don’t think I can.” Nice. Best. Explanation. Ever.

“Huh? What are you saying?”

“You heard me.” I breathe out, not thinking I can possibly say it again... Or anything for that matter.

“Actually, no, I didn’t, I know you were murmuring something, but I didn’t hear what.” He chuckled.

I didn’t respond on that one. I just stayed silent. Awkwardly silent. He must have sensed it… or something. Anyway, Gerard gently pushed me away from him, just so he could see my face… which was staring down at the ground.

He put one finger under my chin and forced my head up. I was looking at him with lost puppy face. Yep, that’s the description I think is pretty accurate. Gerard, on the other hand, was looking at me with more than very confused expression. He furrowed his eyebrows, as I stared back at him I noticed a tiny wrinkle between them.

“Frank, what is it?” Damn. Don’t make me say it.

Another minute of silence.

“Frank, tell me.” Gerard pleaded. Oh come on, use your brain… THE ONE IN YOUR HEAD!

“Gerard, I. I don’t think I’m ready for this. Seriously. I may sound like a fucking school girl right now, but it’s true, so, I guess I’m sorry, but I can’t.” I sucked on my breath, waiting for shouting to come around. Like in these scary teenager movies. Or like I’ve heard it from my girl friends.

But it never came. The room was scarily silent. Not a single sound. After a while I gained some mental strength and looked up at him. He was staring right back at me. With even more confused facial expression than ever before.

“Uhm, I don’t think… Wait! You thought that I would…? What? NO!” Wait what?

“What?”

“You really thought I’d make you bottom?” Oh, well, to be honest…

“Uhmmm.” I murmured quietly.

The lack of my response just assured him in his say. He pulled me back into his arms, holding me even tighter than before. After a while he let go and pushed me away again. Oh thank God, a minute longer and I would suffocate.

“You silly jerk.” What? I didn’t expect that.

“You fucking incredibly silly jerk!” He spat and slapped my cheek. Ouch, I didn’t expect that either.

“Au! What was that for?!”

“Don’t you pretend you don’t know why!”

“Well, I don’t fucking know why, that’s why I’m asking!” Oh, great. We’re fighting again.

But in the next minute, instead of yelling at me, or pushing me against a wall, his face softened.

“I wouldn’t make you do that. Definitely not right after you just told me you are confused and scared.” He shook his head, and then continued. “No. No no no. Not like this. I wanted to help you, I didn’t want you to help me.”

“If that makes sense.” He added after a minute of me not saying a thing and processing what he just said.

“Um well, not really, but yeah.” He chuckled at that.

“So you’re saying that…”

“Yep.”

“I, I, I don’t know, Gerard, really.”

“Why not? Like I’m not pushing you or anything, I just don’t understand.”

I laughed bitterly. Haha, this will be real fun saying.

“Haha, well, first of all, your daughter is my girlfriend. Second of all, we’re here with my father, what if he walks on us? And, third of all… I’ve never… well you know. Don’t make me say that.”

“Like, never?” Gerard raised an eyebrow in surprise. I did the same.

“Uhm,” He cleared his throat. “These doors have a lock, you know.” I chuckled. I saw that one coming.

“Yeah I guess so.” I bit my lip and took a good look at him. Damn. That tie will kill me.

Gerard gave me one of his smiles that, naturally, made my knees weak. And then he bit his lip.

I just had to laugh at that one. Oh my God.

He laughed as well, taking one step closer to me. Carefully studying my face, he slowly grabbed one button of my shirt and undid it. I raised an eyebrow again. Oh come on, you can do better than that.

And as if he knew what I was thinking, he grabbed my shirt roughly and pulled me closer to him, not even a second after his lips were on mine. I kissed him back with the same force as he did. Even though I was sure as hell he’ll be disappointed, because to be honest, this takes practice and with my zero experiences, it won’t be really good. I can imagine totally awkward situation here tonight. Not good. Awkward.

And awkward moment came by soon. As soon as I tried to get him into my bed. We almost fell to the floor. Gerard started giggling like a maniac. I was fine with awkward, not funny. To stop him giggling I (finally) pushed him on my bed and quickly climbed up too. He stared at me quite surprised, this time it was my turn to giggle. I took a moment and looked at him one last time before we started to take our clothes off.

Notes

Here you go pumpkins.

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Love,
... me.

PS. Don't hate me I just couldn't write smut. I wish I could pay someone to do that for me. The next chapter will be (surprise surprise) morning after.