Chasing the Sun

The next hour had played out without any more drama on Lilly’s part, though she had been noticeably quiet. She couldn’t get Fiona’s words out of her head, pulling them apart and overanalysing them in a way only a drunk person could. She was vaguely aware that Gerard had slowed his drinking down, possibly in concern after catching on to Lilly’s mood. Hector didn’t seem to pay attention, though Lilly wouldn’t have been surprised if he just plain didn’t notice her slightly quieter state. Fiona was shooting Lilly concerned glances every time Lilly made another trek to the bar for another shot. After shot number six, she was all but swaying in Gerard’s lap, and by then his concern was obvious. He quickly grabbed a hold of her waist and helped her steady herself when she grabbed the table and giggled.

“Anyone want a drink?” she slurred.

“I’m fine,” Hector slurred with a cheery grin.

“Lilly, I think you’ve had enough,” Fiona spoke up, with the same authoritative tone their mother would use.

“Piss off!” Lilly muttered, still smarting over their conversation from earlier.

“I think she’s right, Lilly. I think we should go back to your parents and get some sleep,” Gerard quickly agreed with Fiona, no trace of his previous slurring to be found in his voice.

Lilly glared at him, offended that he was siding with her sister, in front of everyone. Her drunken eyes couldn’t take in his surprised and worried expression. She didn’t want to see it. She just wanted to be angry, for a reason she wasn’t even sure of. Sure, Fiona claimed that there had been no flirting, and that Gerard had done nothing but talk about Lilly, but in Lilly’s state, she couldn’t quite find it in herself to believe it, or find comfort in her sister’s words. Deep down, she knew she was being irrational. There were other issues at hand that were causing her anger, issues that were still clouding over Lilly’s happiness. Fiona was right about Lilly cutting her friends out. She was becoming so absorbed with Gerard, and being available for whenever he was around, she had all but lost contact with her friends in recent weeks. The only other person she had seen in the last two weeks was her roommate, and even at that Lilly was aware that she was going to be moving soon. She spent most nights with her boyfriend, and Lilly was psyching herself up for the possibility that she would be searching for a new roommate soon. She never imagined she would become one of those girls that put dicks before chicks, but then again, she never imagined herself falling so pathetically head over heels for someone either. Another elephant in the room that was her mind was Gerard’s drinking. His drinking was still picking at her, and even though he had been on his best behaviour today, in spite of her family’s copious alcohol supply, she was certain that it was a once off. The fact that he was now calling her out on her drinking, in front of her family, no less, when she was unable to defend herself how she would like, was an irony that wasn’t lost on him.

‘Kind of hypocritical, coming from him, don’t you think’? Inner voice raised her opinion, as she was prone whenever Lilly was under the influence.

“Coming from you? That’s a laugh!” she snapped, storming away from Gerard who shot her the most confused expression she’d ever seen from him. The barman gave her an uneasy smile, not comfortable with serving her more drinks. She ordered a jagerbomb, and Lilly noticed he had only given half the normal amount of jagermeister, which she quickly ordered him to rectify. She was well aware that Gerard and Fiona were talking about her when she was at the bar, discussing what was wrong with her, and how they could convince her to go home and sleep it off. Lilly wondered if Fiona would tell Gerard about Lilly’s mini meltdown in the bathroom, or would she keep the sister code, and ensure she kept her mouth shut. She downed the jagerbomb in seconds, wiping her mouth with no grace.

“Lilly!”

The high pitched voice came out of nowhere, and if Lilly had been more sober she would have jumped in fright. She pivoted, slowly so that she didn’t stumble. She broke into a genuine grin when she was greeted by the sight of a highly intoxicated old friend.

“Clodagh!” Lilly squealed, rather loudly, and she clumsily brought the drunken girl into a hug, something she would never do sober, with her anti-social tendencies.

“How are you?” Clodagh giggled, swaying unsteadily.

“I’m great! I’m teaching in a primary school in Dublin! How are you? I haven’t seen you since the Leaving Cert exams. What did you do in college?”

‘Ugh, this is why you don’t get drunk when we come back here. You always talk to people you don’t even like!’

Somewhere in the back of her mind, Lilly knew it was bad when her own subconscious was getting pissed off with her.

“Oh, I just went to the local college. I did engineering.”

“Awesome.”

“I know, right!”

There ensued a rather drunken conversation, which only lasted for a few minutes, before Gerard found her, interrupting the conversation with a quick, insincere apology to Clodagh, who took her drink and went off with a little wave.

“Lilly, I’m really tired. Can we go, please?” Gerard pleaded, sounded almost nervous.

“What about what I want, for once?”

“What?” he asked, taken aback.

“I wanna stay. We always do what you want, but for once, can we just do what I want? Just once? Or is that too much to ask?”

Gerard let out a frustrated groan, and whatever patience he had been holding onto vanished.

“Lilly, you’re fucking drunk. You need to drink some water and sleep it off.”

“Why?Because you don’t want to deal with me being drunk? What about all the times I’ve put up with you being drunk? It’s a problem now when the shoe is on the other foot, huh?”

“I’m not going to start an argument here. I don’t know what the hell went up your ass to change your mood, but whatever it is, we can talk about it tomorrow, when you’re sober.”

‘For once, I agree with him. It’s time to go home.’ Inner voice spoke in a voice eerily similar to her mother’s.

She saw the anger in his eyes, mixed in with a healthy dose of hurt. It permeated her drunkenness enough to make her feel a sting of guilt at what words she’s hurled at him so unfairly. The effect of the guilt was immediate, and the tears were already filling up her eyes, giving them a glassy look.

“Fuck,” Gerard groaned, “Don’t cry. There’s no need to cry. You’re just drunk, and you need to get some sleep. Everything’s okay.We just need to get you back to your parents’ place.”

Lilly just nodded, not trusting herself to hold onto the tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. He took her hand and led her out of the bar, where Fiona was already hailing a taxi for them.

“Is she alright?” Fiona asked.

“I’m right here, you know? And I’m fine. Just…a little drunk.”

“She’ll be fine,” Gerard sighed.

The taxi pulled up, which they all bundled into in silence. Fiona gave the directions to her parents’ house, which was a mercifully quick journey.

“Lilly, for the love of God, please try to be quiet. Ma will flip if she sees you drunk.” Fiona whispered outside the door, before slipping the key in the lock. Gerard kept his hands firmly attached to Lilly’s waist, saving her from falling through the door. She stumbled another two times, before Gerard picked her up bridal style and followed Fiona to Lilly’s old room.

“I’m sorry,” Lilly whined loudly when he set her down on the bed, finally letting her tears fall freely down her cheeks while he stripped off her dress and tights.

“I know, baby. Which drawer has your pajamas?” he whispered patiently.

“That one,” she pointed at it, swaying even as she sat on the bed. He pulled out an old nightdress, putting it over her head and helping her to put her arms through the straps.

“I need to brush my teeth,” she muttered, standing up on wobbly legs, with help from Gerard. He followed her to the bathroom, shushing her when she tried to talk. She found her old toothbrush and toothpaste, knocking over the bottle of soap in the process. She pulled out a new toothbrush for Gerard to use, demanding he brushed his teeth too. He eventually managed to get her into bed, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close to him.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered again tearfully.

There was a pause, and Lilly wondered if he had heard her.

“Why did you get so upset earlier? Everything was fine, until I left for the cigarette. When I came back, you were gone. What happened?”

“I saw you talking to Fiona.”

“Okay?” he asked quizzically.

“You just looked so…I dunno, you were just so fucking close. You were looking at her like you wanted her, and she was staring at you and-”

“You got jealous?” he asked incredulously.

“I know it’s stupid-”

“You’re right, it is. I love you. You, Lilly. Nobody else.”

“One day, you’re gonna leave me.” She cried.

“Lilly, I-”

“It’s true. I know you love me, but even if you don’t find someone else, one day you’re gonna want to go home. You’re gonna go back to the States, and leave me here, and I don’t know which one is worse. You leaving me for someone else, or just leaving me.”

“Lilly, look at me!” Gerard ordered, rolling Lilly onto her back when she refused, and holding her cheeks in his hands, forcing her to meet his gaze.

“Lilly, I’m not going anywhere, okay? This is my home, Lilly.Here with you. I won’t go anywhere without you.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

He kissed her lips softly, cuddling her to his chest again and stroking her hair until she fell into a deep sleep.

Notes

Hey guys,

Another chapter for all you readers. As always, I hope you enjoy, and if you can take a second, please leave feedback. There wasn't much response in regard to a sequel, so that's still up in the air. If it's an idea you'd like, please let me know.

Lyra