Sweet Dreams

I stare at the wall which is complied with streaks of my blood, scribbles, and the story of my pathetic little existence.

I continue to stand on the lone wooden chair in the center of this rotting cell. My grip on the noose tightens, the voices in my head begging me, enticing me.

Just do it already, we will finally be free! Yeah come on you worthless piece of shit hang yourself! Kill yourself, kill yourself! The taunting voices begin to chant, I can no longer resist. I can no longer tell them to shut up. I can no longer make them disappear. They now control me. They have claimed my throne and now reign over my decaying mind.

We’ll be free! We’ll be free! The demented voices continue to chant. I look into the broken mirror on the graffitied wall, taking in my reflection one final time. My mother always told me I was pretty, never did listen. She would say “Twiggy, you would make for a great model.” Yeah right like I would be ever become a fucking model, not the life for me. And look where you are now Twiggy, standing in a godforsaken room preparing to hang yourself, you’ve made your mother so proud haven’t you?

I’m revolted by what I see reflected back at me in the mirror. Long, greasy black strings of hair litter my dirtied, deathly pale face. My eyes bloodshot and surrounded by black circles, the telling signs of weariness. My clothes tattered and worn, for some reason I decided to invest in a tutu long ago, I wanted to look elegant for whomever found my lifeless body, but now it is worn and frayed, drained of its color and childish essence.

Yeah cause a tutu is so fucking ‘elegant’, come on we’re getting tired of this bullshit, just do it, we’re waaaaiting! The voices speak once more.

I slowly bring the noose over my head, my blood stained hands shaking.

I don’t want to do this! I don’t want to die! But you must it’s the only way! We’ll be free! We’ll be free!

I began my slow decent into madness long ago, now I am finally hitting the bottom of the pit of my insanity as I tighten the noose around my neck. Yes! Yes! Yeeeess! The voices chant as I kick the chair out from under me.

My feet dangling as I struggle to breath, my final desperate gasps for air fill the wretched air. What have I done? I don’t want to die! I realize but it’s too late I’m dying, pain enveloping my feeble body. Yeeeeeeesss! We’re free! We’re freeee! The chanting of the voices I’ve hated for so long but nonetheless caused my demise is the last thing I hear before the darkness consumes me, transporting me to another world, another time, another life, free from the things that haunt me.

Notes

Hello peoples. Please let me know your thoughts and another update is coming very soon, love you :)