Fight, My Love

*POV Frank*

My boyfriend and I had just celebrated our 5 year anniversary. His brother had cooked us a meal and we had a very romantic candle lit dinner, then we layed on the roof looking at the stars and talking for hours. We were very in love. I loved him with all my heart and we shared everything. At least I did, lately I think Gerard has been keeping things from me. I mean it's probably nothing, he trusted me. With everything. Even his life. Let me tell me how we met, how we got close, and started dating so quickly. I had just moved and was new to the area, to the school, to the people. I always had difficulty making friends and getting used to places because I'm awkward and clumsy. There was things that made it even worse for me to move, for example the fact that I always wore black and my music was... rougher than what every one else listens to. What would make it even worse, is that I am gay. There's nothing bad about it and I have supported gays my whole life, even before I knew I was. But not everybody thinks the way I do. My parents and friends supported me. But for many people it's still an odd idea and can't get used to it, so they would just insult me. I'm not exactly open about it but there are some aspects it's kind of obvious. Just because I'm not good at hiding anything. My friends still called me daily, but I started to feel more insecure and like I was losing my friends as the start of school kept creeping closer. The first day I had tripped into class (smooth) and saw him. Later I talked to him a bit, I actually met him. Gerard. A name so dreamy, and a boy so beautiful. I had really just seen him and muttered a hello during lunch. When I sat down during first period, I noticed he was kind of giggling with a boy that looked almost identical to him. They wore a black shirt, black skinny jeans, and Gerard wore short black combat boots; the other boy was wearing black converse. The boy had kind of long hair, like mine, but it was blond and pushed back. I started to think it was his boyfriend. I mean, not to think he was gay or bisexual immediately, but he had some things about him that were so different from any straight guy. His giggle sounded slightly more feminine, his hips swayed a little more, he had very sassy remarks, a lot of them, actually... He had hair that hung in front of his face, and he was hanging over his notebook for almost the entire class period. Every time I looked over at him he was either looking outside or was working in his notebook. He had a nice jawline and his brown eyes glittered in the sunlight when he looked outside. He had something that I had only seen once before. It made me sad to see. It was that when he smiled, he looked happy, but his smile didn't reach his eyes. When people smile their eyes light up, with him there was sadness blocking it. My friend, back in Arizona had it too. He had committed suicide just a few weeks before I moved. I missed him so much, my entire school work started to get worse. I actually completely stopped doing most of it. Because of it, my parents decided we had to move. After that first day at my new school, I knew I was attracted to Gerard. Every time I looked at him, I couldn't turn away, and I caught myself thinking of him way too much. When I started walking home on the first day, Gerard had come towards me and asked me coolly why I had been looking at him so much. I blushed because I didn't know he had realized. Then he smiled crookedly and let out a little giggle, but it sounded extremely sarcastic. He held my elbow lightly while he walked me over to the side of the school. I had no idea what was happening. He had asked me a few random questions and looked at me, curiously, while I answered. He looked like he was distant, yet wanting to trust me. I had told him he could trust me, but all he did was giggle a little and look away, while looking away I had heard him mutter something to himself. I couldn't understand what he had said. I knew I looked at him like a lost puppy, but I was worried and scared. For him. I didn't even know him, but I was terrified for him. He then turned back to me, this time I did understand what he was muttering,"gonna fuckin regret this". Then he sighed lightly, looked around, and pulled up his sleeves. I saw thin red lines all over his arms. Thin red lines that could only be one thing, the one thing I hoped he wouldn't do since I first saw him in class. I obviously looked terrified, which caused him to immediately pull on his jacket again. He then whispered, "Sorry." I know I looked terrified, I wanted to say something, at least stop looking at him like that, but I couldn't. He quickly turned around and walked away, while calling out things like "sorry" and "it, um, was nice meeting you, Frank."
I had ruined it all, I couldn't even say "I'm so sorry", no I had to stare at him like he was some alien creature. He couldn't even look at me for the next few days and I felt terrible. One day I couldn't handle it anymore and I walked over to him during lunch. I then slightly pulled on his shoulders indicating I wanted him to come with me. He had looked up at me angrily at first, but when I pressed my fingers into his shoulder again, he ended up getting up, reluctantly, and walking after me. I took him into the boys bathroom and checked if anybody was in the stalls. He asked me, in an extremely mocking tone, "what do you want, Iero?" He was so different, he had completely pushed me out of his life, I didn't even know exactly what I wanted right now. For him to understand, I guess. Then I looked him in the eye and told him how much I actually cared about him, it was my mistake for the event that had happened after school, how much I needed him to trust me. And since I knew I couldn't hold it back anymore, I told him I loved him. The last part I almost whispered, but I knew he heard, because I saw his eyes light up. I also said I was sorry for anything I had done to scare him away that day he had showed me his cuts. He answered, "oh but Frank, you didn't do anything. I did. I'm horrible. Nobody likes me, nobody ever likes me. My demons kill me. Day and night. I was certain I had scared you half to death, and I would scare you even more if I had stayed and talked to you any longer. I'm so glad you came to me today. I don't think you understand how happy I am, actually." I had at first stared at him in awe. When I realized my mouth was hanging open, I blushed and closed it. Well, that is until he put his hand on my chin. Instead of pushing my mouth shut because it probably looked incredibly disrespectful, Gerard had simply rested his hand on my chin. He quickly put his other hand on the small of my back and was pulling me close. Before I realized what was happening, he rested his lips on mine. When I finally realized, I had tilted my head slightly, so our lips met perfectly. We started kissing, slightly opened mouths, tongues moving together. We had also started moving our bodies. He had pushed me backwards slightly, and we carefully moved to the wall where he had moved the hand on my chin to my neck and the other hand he had put on the wall behind me, creeping closer to my shoulder blade. I was now pressed up against the wall, and somehow found my leg worked around Gerard's, and my hands on his hips. The only reason we stopped was to gasp for air, our eyes closed shut the entire time. I suddenly didn't feel Gerard's lips anymore, I opened my eyes and saw him looking back at me, eyes sparking. He then put his hands on my back, pulling me close, and started kissing my neck. It felt so nice, I couldn't help myself but to move my head back, and moan a little. After a while I found my head being pulled down again, and he started kissing me again. I don't know how long we stood there kissing, but we stopped only when the bell went, indicating we were late to our next class. He had pulled away ever so slightly, with a look full of regret in his eyes. I know we longed for each other's lips again, already. I still felt his lips on mine, and I knew he still felt mine. He had said, "well, I had been wanting to do that since I saw you in bio that first day", gasping for air. I smiled and felt my head glow, and answered, "well then I guess it had to happen some time, right?" and for the first time, ever, I saw him smile sincerely, he had little dimples and looked so alive. I saw his hair was messy, because I had been moving my hands through it. I fixed it while giggling. I longed for his touch and lips again, but I knew it wasn't the time. I grabbed his hand, and pulled him out of the bathroom and we quickly found our way to class. When the teacher asked us where we had been I blushed, just a little, but said, "I'm new, you um, you know that. So I got lost. Again. Luckily Gerard had just been to the bathroom and we saw each other so he could show me where the class was." I heard Gerard breathing, with a giggle found within it. He was obviously struggling not to laugh. She had said it was fine, but I really had to start remembering the halls. Once we sat down Gerard said, "you know awfully well where the bathroom is, don't you?" with a kind, but mocking tone. I laughed, and pushed him a little. We had sat down next to each other in the back of the room where we whispered about any subject we could grasp. He showed me his notebook, it was full of doodles. He also showed me his sketchbook, he had made beautiful drawings. He turned one page slower than the others, while blushing he looked at me. I looked at the page, it was a very detailed drawing of me, I was looking at the front of the room in the drawing, I could see it from the angle he had drawn it. He had drawn me. I looked at him and smiled while telling him it was amazing, because well, it really was. He smiled and blushed even more. My hand had been resting on the table, and Gerard had been holding his sketchbook. Now he shut his book, looked at the teacher, and then rested his hand on mine, lacing his fingers through mine. I looked at him for a few seconds, he seemed happy. Completely happy, not even hidden sadness, as though he couldn't even think of that now. I noticed his small pointed nose and his slightly flustered cheeks. He was perfect. I suddenly got incredibly sad he somehow got to the point of hating himself so much. I couldn't imagine what it felt like, and most of all, I felt like he didn't deserve it. I wrote in my small handwriting, 'Gerard, will you be my boyfriend? I love you.' and slid it over to him. He had read it in silence, smiled, and looked around the class. He then quickly kissed my cheek and whispered in my ear, 'of course'.

Notes

I know I haven't been on in forever, but I couldn't update any stories yet since I didn't have a laptop :((
I promise I'll update the other stories soon too xx
well, leave a rate and a comment if you like this far :))

much love,
frerardxx