Who are you?...Who am I? (RE-WRITE!)

~(time jump~a little over two months later)~

Things were really starting to settle down. Gerard was eating a little more and now had regular Thursday afternoon appointments with Dr. Urie, which were helping. The nightmares weren’t gone, but they were less, and Gerard was managing to sleep easier now...as was Frank. Gerard was still nervous and didn’t like to be left alone, and his memory still hadn’t returned...but he was dealing with it.

Another thing that was better, was that he could be in a room with his brother, and not freak out. The two couples, Frank and Gerard, and Mikey and Pete, had spent several evenings together, eating take out and watching movies...just like they used to do so very long ago. Gerard wasn’t 100% comfortable with him, or Pete...but he was getting there.

Frank had decided to take Gerard out on a date. He had it all planned...movie, ice cream then a walk in the park. It was going to be a perfect night. They both hoped that it could be the night they could reignite their physical relationship, as all Gerard had been comfortable with until now, was kissing and a little light petting. They both felt it was time to try and move on.

"You look beautiful baby."

Frank said when Gerard emerged from their bedroom, all dressed up for their evening out. He had discovered a certain penchant for more feminine clothing when Frank took him shopping, though he drew the line at actually wearing a dress. Currently he was wearing a pair of low waisted girl's skinny jeans, a long sleeved, fitted Rolling Stones shirt and knee high black leather biker style boots. He also had pink lacy panties on under his jeans, but he wasn’t about to tell anyone about that...well, maybe he’d tell or show Frank later...maybe. His shoulder length hair had been trimmed and Frank helped him to dye it black, so right now he was actually feeling pretty good. He smiled shyly as he walked over to the older man, who was already dressed and ready to go.

"Th-thanks. So, what m-movie are we s-seeing?"

"Well I was thinking maybe that one we saw the trailer for the other night, The Greatest Showman? What do you think?"

"That sounds g-good. I l-like that g-guy in it."

Frank raised an eyebrow.

"Really?...you like him?"

Gerard giggled, rolling his eyes.

"Not like th-that. H-he’s just a g-good actor."

"Mhmm..."

Frank hummed sarcastically before grinning, wrapping his arm around the boy's thin waist and pulling him into his side.

"Come on baby, let’s go."

*

*

*

The theatre was quite busy and Gerard pressed himself in closer to Frank’s side as they walked in through the foyer. He was still nervous of people he didn’t know, even though his abductors were gone...he just couldn’t seem to turn off the feeling that someone was still watching him. Frank always assured him that he was safe and did everything he could to take his mind off of his fears...but it was hard sometimes.

After getting their tickets, drinks and a large tub of popcorn to share, they made their way into the large darkened room. The commercials were playing on the screen as they moved down to the third row from the back and took their seats. Gerard sat against the wall so only Frank was sat next to him.

"Comfy baby?"

Frank asked as Gerard leaned against him, relaxing in the dark. Gerard smiled, nodding happily.

"Y-yeah..."

He looked up.

"You?"

Frank grinned and nodded, wrapping his arm around the younger boy's shoulders as they settled down to enjoy the show.

*

*

*

Gerard bounced excitedly as they left the theatre, his hand held securely in Frank’s.

"That was s-so good!..."

He exclaimed, a happy smile lighting up his face.

"I l-loved all the m-music."

Frank grinned, it wasn’t his kind of thing, but he’d watch it with Gerard a hundred times if it put that smile on his face.

"I’m glad you liked it. Time for ice cream now?"

Gerard nodded enthusiastically and they headed off down the street toward the parlour.

*

*

*

Gerard was rubbing his non-existent belly and groaning quietly...three scoops of ice cream had definitely been a bad idea. Frank chuckled as he carried the younger boy from the car, up to the front door...then set him down on his feet to dig out his keys.

"I think you could do with a nice warm bath before bed...what do you reckon baby? Sound good?"

Gerard nodded, leaning against Frank as he was unlocking the door. Frank pushed the door open and they stepped into the dark living room. He felt for the light switch and clicked it on...then they both froze to the spot.

The room was trashed. Furniture was flipped and smashed, photos lay broken on the floor along with most of their large collection of dvds...and on the wall directly facing the front door, in large red letters were the words WE'RE COMING BACK FOR YOU GERARD!

Gerard whimpered, then his eyes rolled back and collapsed in a heap on the floor.

*

*

*

The Detectives came quickly. They scratched their heads for a while, wondering what they’d missed before, then suggested that Frank and Gerard stay somewhere else for a few nights while the whole house was fingerprinted, and the whole case was reviewed.

Frank packed them both a bag and within an hour they were checking into a hotel in Newark.

They waited silently for the elevator to take them to the third floor, with Gerard clinging shakily to Frank’s arm. When it arrived and the doors opened, Gerard gasped as a man with a beard was stood right in front of the doors. The man looked Gerard up and down with a smirk, then looked at Frank.

"How much?"

He slurred, drunkenly.

"Fuck you."

Frank basically growled at the man as Gerard hid behind his boyfriend, trembling and trying to disappear. The man shrugged and stepped into the elevator as they stepped out and headed to their room. Once they were safely inside the room with the door locked, Gerard broke down in tears, collapsing against Frank’s chest. Frank took him over to the bed and carefully lay down with the boy curled up against him. He held him, cooing softly...he really didn’t know what else to do right now.

Eventually, Gerard’s tears dried and Frank lifted the boy's chin so he could look into his eyes.

"I’m not gonna let anyone hurt you baby. Whoever’s doing this, they’re not gonna win...I promise you."

Gerard swallowed, sniffing miserably.

"Th-they g-got me once...what if they g-get me a-again?"

"No baby..."

Frank shook his head, cupping Gerard’s cheek and softly rubbing the pad of his thumb over the boy’s pale skin.

"That’s not happening. I’m not leaving your side for a moment until whoever did this is found and locked up...and if anyone tries to get to you, they’ll have to go through me first..."

He lay a small kiss to the tip of Gerard’s nose, making the younger boy giggle slightly.

"Trust me, Ok?"

Gerard nodded, then leaned up to place a small, hesitant kiss to Frank’s lips. Frank smiled wide as Gerard’s cheeks pinked.

"Is...is th-that Ok?"

Gerard asked timidly.

"Of course baby. I have always loved you and I know you don’t remember, and that it’s like you’re getting to know me from the start again, but anything you want to do...it’s ok with me."

Gerard nodded thoughtfully.

"I...I want t-to try someth-thing...Ok?"

Frank nodded. He didn’t know what Gerard had in mind, but whatever it was, he was ok with it. Gerard took a deep breath, like he was preparing himself mentally for something...then, he moved himself from laying next to Frank, to laying on him, and leaned in to press his lips to the older man's again...for longer than a tiny second this time. Frank smiled into the kiss, gently wrapping his arms around Gerard’s slight body to hold him close. Frank let Gerard control the kiss...he didn’t want to scare him. After a few long, perfect moments, Gerard pulled back for air...his cheeks flushed pink, his lips slightly swollen and his eyes fluttering slowly open to look down at Frank.

"Was that...good?"

Frank chuckled lightly, his fingers running up and down the length of Gerard’s back. He nodded.

"It was perfect."

Gerard smiled happily.

"What if I w-wanted to t-try...more?"

Frank reached up to tuck Gerard’s hair behind his ear. Gerard leaned into the touch.

"Baby, I’ll never push you for anything you’re not comfortable with or ready for...anything we do, will be up to you."

Gerard nodded in understanding. He took another deep breath, then pushed himself to sit up. He was now straddling Frank’s hips, and Frank worried a little that the semi he was already sporting would scare the boy when he noticed it was pressed against his bottom. Gerard did notice it, and the thought made his cheeks darken even more...but he found the realisation of what he was doing to Frank to be less scary, and more...exciting. Hesitantly, he shifted his hips, rubbing himself against Frank’s hardening length and drawing a quiet moan from the older man. Gerard giggled.

"You l-like that?"

"Oh yeah baby...I really do."

Frank moved his hands to lightly rest on Gerard’s narrow hips...he didn’t want him to feel like he was trapped and couldn’t stop things if he wanted to. Gerard smiled shyly, then moved again...starting up a slow rhythm that Frank was pretty sure was going to drive him insane. Frank closed his eyes and Gerard’s confidence grew. He started to press down more as he felt his own cock hardening in his panties. He let out a soft whine at the feeling, making Frank open his eyes questioningly. Frank saw and felt the bulge forming in Gerard’s tight pants and it made his cock twitch heavily and his breath hitch. Before the abduction, this position would’ve inevitably lead to Gerard on his hand and knees, or on his back, with Frank buried balls deep in the younger boy's perfect ass as they both hurtled toward their completions...now though...

Frank groaned as he forced himself to not grip Gerard’s hips tight enough to bruise. He had to remind himself that the boy had been through Hell and if he were to flip them over now and pin Gerard beneath him, grinding against him while his hands fumbled to remove the boy’s clothing...well, Gerard would more than likely panic and he’d have every right to. Frank had said that he’d never push...and he meant that, with every fibre of his being.

Gerard’s eyes fluttered closed as he continued to grind down, circling his hips cause damn!...that felt good. Frank’s fingers tightened reflexively and Gerard gasped softly. Frank wanted to take Gerard like he used to. He wanted to be inside him, to mark him as his own again and show him that he was loved and desired. His fingers pushed up under the edge of Gerard's shirt to touch the boy’s delicate, pale skin. It was so soft and smooth and warm...Frank needed to feel more. He started to push the shirt up...but was stopped when he heard a choked sob and felt Gerard tense up and still. He opened his eyes...he didn’t even recall closing them...and looked up. Gerard’s eyes were wide and the blush had drained from his cheeks leaving him looking pale and frightened. Frank swallowed, slowly removing his hands from Gerard’s waist and placing them on the bed at either side of him.

"Baby?..."

He said softly, trying not to spook the boy more. Gerard’s breath hitched again, but he didn’t move...or reply.

"It’s ok baby...I said I won’t push, and I meant it."

A shiver ran through Gerard’s body. Frank wanted to hold him close and comfort him, but clearly that wouldn’t be the right thing to do right now.

"S-sorry."

Gerard whimpered, his eyes casting down sadly.

"No no baby, you’ve got nothing to apologise for. Look, why don’t you have a nice hot bath, then we can snuggle up and get some sleep...how does that sound, hmm?"

Frank could feel that Gerard was no longer hard, his fear had chased his boner away...and Frank’s own cock had deflated the second he realised that he’d scared his precious baby. Nothing was happening now.

Gerard nodded slightly and shakily climbed off of Frank’s lap, still not meeting his eyes. Frank hated himself for scaring him.

"Do you want me to run the bath for you?...I think I saw a bottle of bubbles in there before."

Gerard shook his head.

"No thank you. I c-can do it."

He climbed off the bed and walked over to the ensuite, clicking on the light and stepping inside. A second later he re-emerged and crossed to the bag Frank had packed for them. He rooted around inside for a moment before pulling out a pair of pyjama pants and one of Frank’s old, faded band shirts, then returned to the bathroom, closing the door quietly behind him with a click.

Frank sighed, rubbing his hand over his face.

"Nice going moron."

He muttered to himself as he got up from the bed and stripped out of his jeans and hoodie. He would normally sleep in just his boxers, but after what just happened...

He grabbed a pair of sweatpants from the bag and pulled them on before climbing back into the bed.

*

*

*

It was a little over half an hour before Gerard reappeared. He was dressed in the pyjama pants and t-shirt and his hair was damp and slicked back to his head. He turned off the bathroom light and walked over to the bed, climbing quietly under the covers and cuddling straight into Frank’s side. Frank smiled sadly, wrapping one arm around him and gently squeezing his shoulder.

"You Ok baby?"

"Yeah. Just t-tired."

Frank sighed.

"I’m sorry I scared you."

Gerard looked up at him, frowning slightly.

"It wasn’t y-your fault F-Frankie. It’s th-theirs."

Frank smiled and nodded, leaning in to press a kiss to Gerard’s forehead.

"You’re right...and we’re not letting them win this, remember?"

Gerard smiled softly.

"Yeah..."

He yawned, snuggling his face into Frank’s chest.

"We'll b-be Ok...to-together."

"Yeah, we will. Try to sleep angel...I’m right here."

Gerard yawned again and nodded as his eyes slipped closed.

"G'night Frankie."

"Good night baby...I love you."

Frank whispered back, but Gerard was already asleep.

Notes

Hi there chipmunks, how’s you?

So that happened!...I said it wasn’t over ;)

Until next time...PLEASE COMMENT and peace out babies!
<3