Who are you?...Who am I? (RE-WRITE!)

Frank woke at about ten to find that Gerard was actually asleep. It was good...maybe he hadn't had any nightmares, and Frank hadn't been woken if he had. Smiling softly at the beautiful boy laying beside him, Frank slipped out of the bed, grabbed his phone and quietly left the room. He went downstairs and started some coffee. While the coffeemaker did its thing, he dialled his friend's office number. After two rings the call was answered.

"Good morning, Dr. Urie's office. How can I help you?"

"Hi Emily, it's Frank. Can you put me through to Brendon please?"

"Oh hi Frank..."

The girl chirped, dropping her formal telephone voice for her more relaxed Jersey accent.

"Sure, I'll put you right through."

There was a click and a buzz, then Frank heard his friend's voice down the line.

"Hey Frankster...what's up man?"

Frank grinned down the line...he hadn't talked to Brendon in a while, but it was just like always...easy.

"Hi Bren, you good? Look...I kinda need a serious conversation with Dr Urie right now...ok?"

"Sure..."

Brendon said...Frank could hear the other man moving into a more professional position.

"How can I help?"

Frank took a breath.

"Gerard's back...and we need your help."

He knew that Brendon would understand.

After a few minutes, Frank finished his phone call and poured himself a coffee...he sat at the little table in the kitchen and drank quietly as he thought. Inevitably, his thoughts turned to Gerard. The younger man was so timid and scared now. He'd always been shy, but there used to be a fire in his eyes, a light that Frank loved to see grow brighter when it was just them and Gerard talked animatedly about art or comics or any of the other things that he was passionate about...that light wasn't there now, not like before. The monster who had taken him, hurt him...they had taken that light. Frank was determined to find a way to reignite it, he just wasn't sure how yet.

Frank had just finished his second cup of coffee, and looked through the post...bill, bill, take-out menu to add to the collection, bill, travel brochure...when he heard light footsteps coming down the stairs. He looked out into the living room and after a moment he saw Gerard emerge.

"Morning baby, did you sleep ok?..."

Frank greeted with a smile. Gerard shrugged as he walked over, rubbing his eyes tiredly with his fist before climbing onto Frank's lap and curling up with his head on Frank's shoulder. Frank frowned slightly at the boy's quietness but brushed it off as tiredness as he wrapped his arms around Gerard's thin body.

"Do you want some breakfast baby?...I could make you pancakes if you like..."

Gerard shook his head against Frank's neck, fingers playing absently with the front of Frank's shirt.

"You need to eat something, you know what the doctor said about getting your body used to food again..."

Again, Gerard shook his head. Frank sighed.

"What's wrong baby?...are you ok?..."

Gerard shrugged one shoulder silently.

"Talk to me baby, I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong, just tired."

Gerard said quietly. Frank wasn't buying it.

"Are you sure baby?...did you have a nightmare?...did you remember something?"

Gerard shook his head before lifting his face to look at Frank.

"No, n-nothing like that..."

He gave Frank a small, weak smile.

"I'm j-just tired."

Frank sighed again, he could tell there was something else, but he didn't want to upset Gerard by pushing him to talk.

"Ok baby. Look, I was thinking maybe we could go out for a while today. Perhaps we could go to the zoo, look at the animals. You always used to love the zoo, and it should be practically empty today, no crowds or anything. A nice walk, some fresh air...I'll even buy you an ice cream if you want. What do you say?"

Gerard smiled a little wider, a little more genuinely. He nodded.

"Yeah, that s-sounds nice actually..."

He shivered slightly.

"...b-better if I could swap the i-ice cream for a h-hot chocolate though."

Frank smiled wide.

"Whatever you want baby. Why don't you go jump in the shower and I'll find you some warm clothes that'll fit."

Gerard nodded, slipping off of Frank's lap.

"Ok, but I c-can't keep borrowing your clothes all the t-time."

"No I know. I'll take you shopping soon...tomorrow maybe, if you're up for it."

"Maybe."

Gerard smiled then headed for the bathroom. Frank went to the bedroom and found Gerard a pair of jeans, a Green Day shirt and a faded Black Flag hoodie, plus underwear. He took it to the bathroom and knocked on the door. He could hear the shower running.

"Gee, I'll leave your clothes here, just outside the door. I'll be downstairs when you're ready."

"Ok Frank."

Gerard called back, sticking his head out of the curtain to answer. When he had finished his shower and got dressed, finding the clothes a little big, but manageable and comfortable, he headed downstairs to find Frank.

Frank was sat on the sofa replying to a text when Gerard appeared. He looked up and smiled.

"Hey baby, you ok?...ready to go?"

He asked as he stood up and slipped his cell into his back pocket. Gerard nodded shyly.

"Yeah, I'm actually l-looking forward to this."

Frank smiled wide as he walked over and gently took Gerard's hand, lifting it to softly kiss his fingers. Gerard giggled, his cheeks flushing pink as he lowered his head to hide behind his hair. Frank chuckled and tucked Gerard's hair behind his ear, urging the younger man to look up.

"No hiding baby, you're too pretty to hide..."

Gee giggled again, his smile still shy, but growing.

"Ok, let's go see some animals then, yeah?"

Gerard nodded and they headed out.

*

*

*

When they arrived at the zoo, Frank was right, it wasn't busy at all. Gerard smiled softly as Frank held his hand and they started to walk slowly around the large space.

"So what do you want to see first baby?"

Frank asked with a warm smile and a squeeze of Gerard's hand.

"I don't know, what's c-close by?"

Frank pulled out the little folded map they'd been given at the gate.

"Um, well the giraffes are over there..."

He pointed to their left.

"And the monkeys are that way."

He pointed to the right. Gerard looked both ways then smiled wide.

"Monkeys...I think?"

What had started as a statement, had turned into a timid query. Frank squeezed his hand and smiled gently at him.

"Anything you want baby."

Gerard's smile grew and they headed off to the right, hand in hand.

*

*

*

The day started to grow colder shortly after two, so with hot chocolates in hand, they headed back to the car. Gerard hadn't let go of Frank's hand since they arrived and Frank took note that he was still quieter than yesterday, but he didn't push for a reason as he hoped that Gerard would tell him when he was ready.

The drive home was quiet and uneventful, and when they got inside, Gerard excused himself and disappeared to the bathroom. Frank sat on the sofa and wondered what he could do to help the younger man...what he could do to make things easier for him. He turned on the tv and quickly found a movie on Netflix for them to watch, he hoped it could take Gerard's mind off of what was bothering him. When Gerard returned from the bathroom, he sat down next to Frank and curled up into his side, unfocused eyes gazing at the tv.

"Are we w-watching a movie?"

He asked, seeing the Netflix logo on the screen.

"Yeah baby, I thought we'd watch one of your favourites..."

He pressed play.

"Batman."

"I...I don't r-remember it."

Frank grinned.

"Well you used to love it."

"Ok then."

Frank wrapped one arm around the thin boy and held him close as the movie started.

Gerard relaxed more as the movie went on. His mind still flicked back to seeing that figure in the garden from time to time, but by the time the credits rolled, he was wide eyed with excitement at the prospect of watching one of the sequels Frank had told him about...even though he said that there was basically zero continuity from one to the next, and that if he could remember the comics, then he would almost certainly not like the other movies. Gerard didn’t remember the comics, and he didn’t care about the continuity...he just cared that they helped to take his mind off of his fears.

About two thirds of the way through the third movie, having paused the second just ten minutes in to get food, Gerard started to yawn. Nightmares and terrors meant that he was sleep deprived at this point...though the thought of sleep, and more nightmares, wasn’t exactly appealing.

"You tired baby?"

Frank said softly as Gerard tried in vain to disguise his fourth yawn in the space of two minutes.

"A little."

He murmured. Frank chuckled, reaching for the remote.

"Ok, time for bed then. We can watch the rest of this tomorrow if you want."

Gerard nodded sleepily and watched as Frank turned off the movie, then the tv. Frank gently scooped Gerard up into his arms, making the boy gasp quietly and cling to him, then carried him carefully up the stairs to bed.

Gerard was only woken by one nightmare that night...but it was a bad one.

*

*

*

Gerard was doing laundry when the doorbell rang. He frowned slightly, he wasn’t expecting anyone today. Putting down the laundry basket, he headed to the door. He didn’t think to look through the spy hole and maybe he should’ve, but this was a safe neighbourhood and he just never felt the need. Opening the door, Gerard’s eyes widened and a scream tried to escape his lips...but too late, the person in front of him had a hand clamped over his mouth, and the person behind him...how the fuck was there someone behind him?!...was shoving a needle into the side of his neck. Everything went black.

*

*

*

Gerard woke up with a strangled scream, his hands going to his throat as terror ripped through his body. Frank was awake a half second later, clicking on the bedside light and turning to comfort the flailing, crying and hyperventilating boy in the bed next to him.

"Gee?...Gee baby, it’s ok. You’re safe. I’m here baby...I’m here..."

Gerard’s eyes were squeezed shut as he panicked under Frank's hands, gasps and wails slipping from his lips as he tried to fight off his attacker.

"Baby it’s me, it’s Frank...you’re safe baby. It was a dream. You’re safe now."

Frank’s calm voice slowly started to break through the fog of Gerard’s terror and the fight left him, his body falling limp as hot tears streamed down his cheeks to soak the pillow beneath him.

"F-F-Fran-kie?"

"Yeah baby, it’s me. Open your eyes sweetheart...it’s ok."

Frank soothed, his hands tracing slowly up and down Gerard’s arms. Gerard whimpered, sniffing back his tears before hesitantly opening his eyes. He looked up at Frank with desperation.

"I...I r-remem-ber."

Frank’s eyes widened.

"You do?...what baby, what do you remember?"

Gerard sniffed, trembling as he pressed himself into Frank’s chest, the older man instantly wrapping him up in his warm, strong arms.

"I remember the d-day I was t-taken."

Frank swallowed heavily. He wanted Gerard to remember so that the monsters who did this to him could be caught...but on the other hand, remembering would likely make Gerard even more scared than he already was.

"Did you see faces?"

He asked after a minute, when it became clear that Gerard wasn’t going to say any more. Gerard shuddered violently, then lifted his tear stained face up to look into Frank’s eyes.

"No."

Fresh tears started to fall and Frank decided not to try to push for any more tonight. Carefully, he pulled their disturbed blankets back up over them and cuddled Gerard close into his chest. He could feel the tremors running through the younger man's body as he tried to relax, and gently began to stroke his hands up and down Gerard’s spine.

"You’re safe now baby, I’m never gonna let anyone hurt you again."

He softly pressed a kiss to the top of Gerard’s head and prayed to a God he no longer believed in, to let the boy get some rest...for a while at least.

*

*

*

Morning came and Frank woke to find Gerard curled up asleep...with his thumb in his mouth. Frank chuckled quietly, he’d almost forgotten how cute that looked. Yawning, he slipped silently out of the bed and walked to the bathroom. He took his morning piss, went back to the bedroom to pull on a hoodie, then headed downstairs to make them some breakfast.

Clicking on the coffee machine, he turned and walked over to the fridge for eggs and cheese...Gerard always used to love his omelettes. He frowned when he saw they were out of eggs. He could make something else of course, but he had his heart set on treating Gerard to all his favourites today.

Sighing quietly, Frank went back up to their bedroom. Gerard was still fast asleep, and after last night he deserved the rest. Frank knew he could be quick...run to the local market and back before Gerard even knew he was gone...but he hesitated. What if Gerard woke up and he wasn’t there?...he’d told him that he’d keep him safe, he didn’t want to let him down now. Sighing, he crossed to the bedside and gently touched Gerard’s shoulder.

"Gee...baby wake up."

He murmured softly. Gerard stirred, his eyes fluttering open to look up at Frank expectantly.

"F-Fwankie?"

He mumbled around his thumb before pulling it out with a wet pop. Frank smiled softly, brushing Gerard’s hair from his face.

"It’s ok baby. Look, I need to get a couple things from the store. It’s just up the road and it’ll only take ten minutes. Do you wanna get dressed and come with me, or would you be ok here on your own for a little while?...I would make sure all the doors are locked up tight. You’d be completely safe."

Gerard whimpered slightly, then swallowed and shook his head.

"I’ll...I’ll stay h-here. I g-gotta do it s-sometime...right?"

Frank cupped Gerard’s soft cheek, feeling the boy lean into his touch. He smiled fondly at him.

"Are you sure?...you could come. I don’t want you to push yourself if you’re not ready to be alone."

"No...I’ll be ok. Just...just don’t be too l-long...Ok?"

Frank chuckled.

"I won’t baby. Now, would you like me to get you anything?...chocolate maybe?"

Gerard yawned and shook his head.

"No th-thanks Frankie."

"Ok baby. Try to sleep some more and I’ll be back in a few minutes."

He pressed a soft kiss to Gerard’s forehead, then stood and quietly left the room. He went back downstairs and slipped on his sneakers, then grabbed his keys and wallet and left the house...double locking the door on his way out. He could be quick...for Gerard he would fucking run there and back.

*

*

*

Twelve minutes, that’s all it took. Twelve minutes and Frank was walking quickly back up the road toward the house...but when the house came into view...

"What the..."

His eyes widened as he saw someone stood in their front yard, peering in through the living room window.

"HEY!...WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE?"

The figure turned quickly...he had a hood up over his head and Frank couldn’t see his face as he took off out of the yard and off down the road. Frank gave chase for just a few moments before stopping and turning quickly back to the house. He dug his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the front door, hurrying inside and instantly hearing frightened sobbing coming from the kitchen. He shut the door and rushed through to find Gerard curled up on the floor beneath the kitchen table. He put down the shopping and sunk to his knees, crawling in after him.

"Baby?...baby it’s ok...you’re safe baby..."

He reached out slowly but Gerard whimpered, backing away. Frank let his hand drop, his own tears threatening to fall. He lowered his head defeatedly.

"I’m so sorry baby. I shouldn’t have gone."

Gerard sniffed pitifully, his arms wrapped tight around his knees as he rocked himself back and forth. He kept his eyes locked on the man in front of him, the man he’d trusted to keep him safe. But really, why would he trust him?...he barely even knew him. Gerard had come to accept that they have a past, that they were together...he’d seen too many photos of the two of them to deny it...but he still didn’t remember, and the only thing that made him trust Frank was a gut feeling. Was that really enough?

He saw the sadness in the drop of Frank's shoulders and he found himself wanting to comfort him. In that moment he knew...no matter what they’d been before, now they were together, and yes, he can trust Frank. Swallowing back his fears, he reached out a small, shaky hand. He hesitantly touched Frank’s shoulder and the older man looked up, tears on his face and hope in his eyes.

"Baby?"

Gerard shivered and swallowed heavily.

"It’s...I’m...I’m ok."

Frank sucked in a deep breath and let it out shakily.

"I’m really sorry."

"I kn-know. It’s n-not your f-fault..."

Gerard sniffed.

"There w-was s-someone outs-side."

"I saw. They’re gone now."

"Did you s-see who it w-was?"

Frank shook his head.

"No baby, he had a hood. I’m gonna call the cops though...no one's going to hurt you."

Gerard nodded, sniffing as he finally uncurled himself and moved closer to Frank, who tentatively wrapped his arms around the shivering boy. Gerard sighed softly, relaxing against Frank's chest.

"Do you think it was...them?"

Frank would be willing to put money on it, but he didn’t want to freak Gerard out any more.

"No baby, I seriously doubt it. It was probably just someone looking for a house to rob...don’t worry."

He pressed a kiss to the top of Gerard’s head, then carefully moved them both out from under the table. He scooped Gerard up into his arms and carried him through to the living room, then sat down on the couch with the boy in his lap and dug his cellphone out of his pocket to call the police...by the time they arrived, Gerard was asleep.

*

The officers who came took photographs and both of their statements about what they’d seen...even though Gerard could barely speak for crying, and Frank could only tell them the person's approximate height and what he was wearing, as he hadn’t seen anything of their face at all. They tried to take fingerprints too, but apparently the person was wearing gloves.

The officers left after about an hour, and Frank was left to calm Gerard back down...he never didget round to making that omelette.

*

The rest of the day was spent curled up on the couch watching movie after movie after movie, with Gerard clinging to Frank like his life depended on it. At only a few minutes after ten o'clock that night, they headed quietly up to bed. That night...Gerard did not sleep well!

*

*

*

Gerard felt sick as he woke up. Something was very wrong and he couldn’t figure out what it was. He could feel pain radiating from just about every inch of his body and as he tried to curl in on himself, he discovered that he couldn’t actually move. Opening his eyes, he realised that he wasn’t at home in his lovely warm bed, with his lovely fiancé...and that in fact, from what he could tell, he was actually tied naked to a table in a dimly lit basement. Trying to turn his head, he noted that there was a strap across his forehead, holding his head in place, and on top of all that, there was something hard in his mouth to keep him quiet. He thought maybe this was all a nightmare, after all, he had let Frank persuade him to watch Saw last night.

Laying there shivering, Gerard was quick to realise that this wasn’t in fact a dream, and that he was actually in rather a lot of trouble. He tried to struggle against his binds, but it was no use, and all it did was hurt him more. Tears started to leak from his eyes as he heard footsteps approach, then there was someone leaning over him. He couldn’t see a face, only a mask and the ball pein hammer in the man's right hand. He tried to scream around his gag...tried to beg for them to let him go...but they didn’t, and the man raised the hammer high above Gerard’s chest before bringing it down with a...

*

*

*

Gerard woke up screaming, his eyes wide and chest aching from the memory as he scrambled out of the covers and onto the bedroom floor, his legs giving out instantly and sending him crashing to his knees. Frank was there in a moment, frightened eyes watching him as he struggled for breath. Frank knew now not to try to hold him before he was ready, but he cooed to him and promised him that he was safe and that it was just a dream.

"But it...it was s-so r-real!...I was th-there...I f-felt it."

Frank didn’t know how to help, except to reassure and hold him when he would finally allow it. The nightmares were getting worse, and Frank didn’t know how much more Gerard could take.

Eventually, Gerard wore himself out crying and reliving the nightmare in his head, over and over. Eventually he let Frank hold him, and eventually he passed out in the older man's warm embrace. Frank carefully moved them both back into the bed and wrapped himself around Gerard’s thin body, holding him close and humming softly to him in the hopes that it would stave off any more nightmares for the night.

Frank didn’t sleep any more that night, and Gerard’s sleep was punctuated by flashes of nightmare memories that woke him and threatened to drive him insane. By the time morning came, they were both exhausted but neither one wanted to attempt to sleep.

Frank shuffled himself out of bed and went to piss, then returned to the bedroom and scooped Gerard up out of the bed. He took the younger man to the bathroom, then carried him downstairs and into the kitchen.

"Coffee baby?"

He mumbled tiredly. Gerard nodded, leaning his head down on the counter as Frank turned on the machine, then went to fetch the mail. Frank walked back in with a small pile of letters...mostly bills and another take out menu...and a hand written envelope with both of their names and no address on the front.

"Huh...someone must’ve dropped it in..."

Frank sat down next to Gerard as the coffee machine was still doing it's thing, and opened the letter. Gerard sat up and rested his head onto Frank’s shoulder so he could see what was inside. As Frank tipped out the contents, Gerard really wished he hadn’t looked.

"Oh fuck!"

Frank exclaimed as he saw the dozen or so photographs of Gerard...of his Gee...tied up and being tortured and raped. At his side, Gerard let out a frightened gasp, then turned and threw up all over the floor. Then, he passed out...Frank was only glad that he’d been quick enough to catch him.

*

Two hours later and Detectives had been and gone again, taking the pictures with them. They thought there might be fingerprints, but Frank wasn’t gonna put money on it. Things were going from bad to worse, and this latest incident was all the proof anyone needed that the man Frank saw at the window, had definitely been involved.

A week passed in a whirlwind of nightmares, coffee and panic attacks...and then the Detectives returned.

"We have good news..."

The lead detective said with a smile. Frank raised a weary eyebrow at the man from his place on the couch, with Gerard curled up tight in his lap.

"We’ve made an arrest."

"Really?...who?"

The detective pulled out a mug shot from his pocket and handed it to Frank.

"His name is Charles Redwood. His prints were all over the pictures and he’s confessed to Gerard’s abduction, and to holding him against his will. He also listed various things that he’d done...he’s going away for a long time...it’s over."

Gerard looked up with glassy eyes.

"What about the o-other one?"

The detective smiled softly.

"Mr. Redwood said they had a disagreement. He says he killed him and was disposing of the body when you escaped. You were very lucky...this guy's quite unhinged."

Frank felt Gerard tremble and squeezed him close, cooing softly to him.

"It’s over baby. You’re safe now. It’s over."

Tears of relief slipped from both their eyes as they clung to each other...they could finally relax. The Detectives said their goodbyes and left, and Frank and Gerard finally got some sleep.

Notes

Hi there chipmunks, how’s you?

So here’s another chapter for you, but don’t worry...it’s definitely not the last ;)

Xxx
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Until next time...PLEASE COMMENT and peace out babies!
<3