Maybe you're not who you think you are

“Gerard! C’mon, Gerard wake up!” Mikey shouted while shaking me “I made pancakes and coffee upstairs.” I groaned and sat up. He chuckled “Good morning, princess.” He teased. Again with that word.

“I don’t wanna go.” I groaned

“Come on. Pete said he had a surprise for us.” I groaned, yet again, and slumped out of bed. I slowly trudged upstairs with Mikey behind me. The smell of pancakes and coffee filled the room. My stomach growled as I sat down at a seat that had a plate of pancakes and coffee set in front of it. I scarfed down my food and returned to my room. I tugged on the clothes and my white Converse.

I walked over to my mirror and took a surprisingly long look at myself. I shrugged to myself and ran upstairs. Mikey was finishing up his food and threw the dishes in the sink. Mikey yelled for me then realized I was already upstairs. I laughed and we both left and climbed into my old pickup truck. Our school was within walking distance but I was lazy.

Pete greeted us at the gates with a pretty big smile plastered across his face. He stood up hugged us both and grabbed his backpack.

“So...what’s this surprise I heard about.” I asked and raised an eyebrow.
“Oh, yeah. I got tickets for a show tomorrow. Patrick didn’t want ‘em.” he said

“Really? What band?” Mikey asked and raised an eyebrow. Mikey and I were the only people I knew who could raise one eyebrow at a time. It’s something that made us look really similar.

“Leathermouth.” Pete said looking at both of us. I knew Mikey and Pete listened to that band. It’s how they became friends in the first place. I had never really bothered to listen to them before. It sound cool to be able to see them live though.

“They’re coming to Belleville?” I asked and Pete turned his attention to me

“Yeah. The lead singer’s from here.” Pete explained to me. I raised my eyebrows and made a ‘hmh’ sound. I saw my other friend, Mark, climbing out of his car. I said bye to the guys and jogged over to him.

“Hey man. What’s up?” he asked when I got to him

“Apparently I’m going to a Leathermouth show tomorrow.”

“Oh yeah? Tom likes that band. He said the lead singer, Frank something, is really hot.” I chuckled and rolled my eyes.

“Of course he does.”I smirked. He chuckled and we walked towards the school and through the gates. Lindsey came up to me and hugged me. Mark said bye and went to his class.

“Mhm, I’m gonna miss you baby.” she said and jumped on my back. I chuckled, rather forcefully.

“What? Why?’’ I asked confused and

“You don’t remember? I’m going to New York over the winter break.” Oh shit. That did start after today. She kissed my neck and hopped off me.

“Oh. Yeah. I’ll miss you too babe. Now go to class. Don’t want you to be late.” She smiled and waved goodbye.

“You guys are adorable.” Hayley said walking up besides me

“Huh? Oh yeah, I-I guess.”She looked at me worryingly.

“You okay Gerard?” I sighed. There was no use fighting it. I was definitely not okay. I was sixteen and questioning what I wanted to be and who I wanted to be with. I looked down at my clothes and didn’t like them. I don’t know exactly what I wanted to wear until I looked at Hayley. I looked at her skirt and the knee high socks, and the white Converse she was wearing. That’s what I wanted.

“No. Hayley I need your help.” I said and sighed again

“What’s wrong?” she asked and put her hand on my shoulder

“You know how you said I was pretty, like feminine?” She nodded “Well, I’ve been questioning surprisingly a lot of things in that short time period. Like being with Lindsey just seems...different. Like I don’t want to be with her. I don’t like any of my clothes or how they look on me. I don’t like the way I look period.” I rambled and sighed heavily.

“Well, the Lindsey thing I can’t help you with, but the clothes thing, maybe. What do you want?” she asked. I bit my lip nervously. If I told her I wanted to wear what she was wearing she’d probably laugh.

“Uh..er...you’ll laugh at me.” I said and bit my lip again. She smiled softly.

“I promise you I won’t.” I nodded and looked up at her.

“I want to look like you. Like what you’re wearing.” She smiled again and I cringed, waiting for the laughter. However, it never came. She just smiled softly and grab my wrist.
“C’mon. We’re ditching today.” she said and led me out into the parking lot.

Notes