Sickness

Three weeks have gone by now and instead of making friends it seemed as I made enemies without even talking to anyone or even looking at them. In the past three weeks all I got was being pushed into lockers, footballs thrown at me, glares, even the nerds are being asses towards me I am the worse kid in school, it feels like I ain't going to make it alive out there. I am the outcast, the weirdo, the emo kid that should kill himself.
"Hey emo fag, where you going? To your room to cut yourself as you usually do?" some jock shouted from across the yard. Yeah that’s where exactly I am heading, since I got here my life has gone downhill and although I wore mostly long sleeves it was no use to hide some scars that scatter across my pale skin, some of them has been done years ago and some are fresh, it’s the only release I get from this fucked up world I live it at the moment, even the teachers they all hate my guts, I don’t blame them I’m their worse student never returned my work the only good thing I am at is Art and nothing else and to be quiet honest I don’t give two fucks about my other lessons especially religion. Word has come out pretty quickly that I was sent here cause I’m a fag rumors flown quickly around about my parents catching me sucking off some stranger in an alleyway, it’s funny it always makes me chuckle when I pass someone and hear them whisper to each other. So being a religious catholic school that is enough to get the teachers to hate me more.
Everyone in this place act like they are perfect nobody has ever sinned and play by the book. I remember last week one of the teachers he’s an old fucker he came into class glaring at me, and he said “Today we’re going to learn about the sins that the lord thought us about” he even brought several bibles in class and passed it down every student when it was my turn he passed me and said “The lord created man and women to mate together therefore who mated with the same sex shall be burnt, the book I passed is a very delicate one not everyone can handle such thing and those who are Sick and sinned that way cannot handle it and I will surely not pass it down to such dirty hands. Don’t you agree Mr. Way?”
That’s how every little rumor and every little suspect was answered that they were true. Not that I mind actually my life’s a shithole as it is so a little more hate won’t hurt.
Neither my mum or my dad has decided to even call and check on me, I guess the teachers are telling them everything about me and how am I doing, yet I can never be certain what kind of shit they’re spilling out of their mouth to my parents.
"Look at me when I'm talking to you, you faggot!" he said again, this time I stopped in my tracks and dared to look at him in his eyes. His blank brown eye's all they shown was hate, I was showing defeat I always ignore them but what could they possibly do worse than throw a football at me or beat me till I cannot move an inch, I'm used to that shit.
He looked at his friend on the right and they both smiled, their lips spread from ear to ear as they started walking slowly towards me still grinning, hear it comes the third punch in the day
"So...how about we go for a little ride Way" he said while putting his arm over my shoulders, pushing me forward with his other arm, I should say no and take his arm off of me and run to my dorm room, lock myself inside. I know these bastards are up to something, something bad and cruel. They kept pushing me till we reached a red van, two of them got in the front, and us three in the back they sat me in the middle making me feel like a banana between two gorillas ready to pounce on me to see who will get the first bite.
As they started the van I could see rain drops all over the windshield and the windows, they drove for hours none of them said a word. What could they possibly do to me? Worse part of it is I got my satchel with me, it got my personal stuff in it all my sketches, my school books now was the right time to be fucking scared, not cause of my school books fuck those I couldn’t care less if they burn them they would actually make me a favor I am only scared for my drawings.
I had this sketch book for years now and I carry it every where I go, remembering back when I drew Billie at his house, that’s by far my favorite one, it was like the one from the titanic scene, I remember how he prompted himself on the couch and smiled while saying “Oh Gee, do draw me like one of your French girls”. Those are the greatest memories I have when I was with him.
Nothing else was as heart-warming as much as him, I miss him so dearly I forgot to tell you that my poor excuse of a parents took my phone away from me to make sure I don’t call or text Billie. I always wonder if he moved on? If he had forgotten about me? We were doing so great oh so great I didn’t even get to say goodbye nor tell him what was going on and before all this shit went down we were about to take it to the next level and become official, that only led me to being dragged to a boarding school, bullied and now stuck in a van between four human Gorilla’s that swallowed too many steroids.
The rain has gotten worse by now, I could hear the wind whistle against the windows, all I could see from the windshield were raindrops that never seem to end and a trail of rain being blown by the wind.
The van came to a halt the jock on the left side looked at me and smiled I felt the other jocks big hands on mine as I struggled to get free, he pulled my jacket off as the other jock opened the door threw me out the van my bag following behind dropping on the floor making it get almost soaked.
All I heard was the van driving away from me, the rain has gotten worse, I was soaking wet and still only seconds passed. I helped myself to stand up while grabbing my bag, glancing around it only seemed to be a long road that never ends, I can feel raindrops running down my cheeks sighing as I start to walk to the opposite side where the van left, my instincts telling me if I walk the opposite way I'll find my way back to school, I bet it's going take hours to get back, it’s already dusk out here meaning the car ride was for hours it was about five o clock when the jocks got me, I looked down at my wrist remembering that I was wearing a watch to my luck it stopped working it was not waterproof, what’s the point of getting an expensive watch? This was the point of getting an expensive fucking watch to make sure it never stops in the fucking rain, even though it stopped on half past six I won’t be able to know how long it will take me to get back, and when I do what the hell am I going to tell the fucking principal? I got kidnapped by some jocks and was left out in the street?
“Oh look the poor little faggot got kidnapped he said great excuse Way to hide the fact you went off fucking someone in an alleyway isn’t that what you did back in the day?” I said to myself out loud shaking my head yep that will surely be his answer either just say I was indeed fucking someone or just make another excuse up which will be followed by that saying I just said.
Thank you dear lord for this great life you offered me you fucker.

Notes