5 days of rock bottomness

Ray's POV

I woke up to the sound of my phone making a "ping!" sound next to my face. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes as I picked it up. Who the hell is texting me at 6 AM?! I click on the unread messages button. It's from Brian. This can't be good.
"He just called me again. He is drunk off his ass! What happened? I couldn't get anything out of him.”
Dammit!
I jump out of my bed and tear Gerard's curtain away. Not there. I struggle into my shoes and throw a jacket on. Thank God nobody else woke up. I can't deal with Mikey right now. I throw the door open and run down the steps. WHAM! I trip on something right outside the door.
"Ugh. What the fuck?! Gerard...?" He was laying on the ground outside the bus. I must have tripped on him in my rush to get out the door. There's a pile of puke next to him. At least he had managed to avoid it when he collapsed. I roll him over and notice his forehead, he only has a few scrapes but there is blood running down his face. I sigh and grab him around the middle, I try to pick him up but I’m not strong enough. Just then the door opens, I look up at Bob as he descends the steps.
“What’s going on out here… is that Gerard?” He already knows the answer of course.
“Just help me get him into his bed and then I will explain” I tell him and he picks up Gerard’s bottom half and we move him into the bus, placing him in his bed. I grab a paper towel and wipe the dried blood off his face. Then I go into the bathroom and dig around in Gerard’s bag until I find his foundation. I smear some over the scrapes on his face and hope that Mikey won’t notice. The less stress we can cause the kid the better.
I lead Bob back outside and get the hose from the back of the bus. I hook it up and wash the pavement off so that nobody will question the mess.
“Okay! So, I woke up to my phone going off in my ear and it turns out Brian had texted me this” I show him the text.
“Shit, this is bad.” he says.
“Yep. This is pretty bad. I just don’t understand why he would do this. I know it’s hard but he’s stronger this… at least I thought he was.” The sun was starting to come up.
“I think you should talk to him. He seems to listen to you more than the rest of us, probably because you aren’t as screwed up as the rest of us.”
“Don’t say that! If anybody is screwed up, it’s Gerard. I’m trying not to be mad at him but it’s kind of hard.”
“Well, I don’t even know what to do. All I know is that we have to fix him before something really bad happens.”
“You probably didn’t know Bob, but before the band started, he had some really bad problems. That’s actually when the drinking started. He was super depressed and he was even suicidal. That’s why Mikey is so freaked out right now. He thought that those days were behind them but now, it’s getting thrown back in his face. The pills he takes are for his depression but his is so immune to them by now that they don’t work for long and aren’t as effective anymore. He has become addicted to them. I don’t know what else he’s on but it’s some kind of drug and I think it’s even more addictive than pills and alcohol. So in other words, yes. Something way worse could happen. And I don’t know what to do either.” Well I managed to get it all out in a relatively short statement but Bob was still a little surprised at all I had to say.
“Wow. I didn’t know it was that bad before. This is really bad. We have to think of some way to help him... Auugh! I hate this! Being so useless as my friend slowly drinks his life away sucks ass!”
“I know. I know! just keep your voice down. I will talk to him later. Will you just try to get Frank and Mikey out of the bus for a while later today?”
“Yeah, okay. I think I can do that.”
“Good. Just make sure Mikey doesn’t find out. You can tell Frank if you have to but… please God don’t tell Mikey!”
“I understand. Got it.”

(later that day)

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us Ray?” Mikey asked me.
“Yeah I’m sure. I don’t feel very good right now.” It was a lie. I would definitely rather go bowling with the guys than stay here and ‘express my concerns to Gerard’ as I have chosen to call it. He is still sleeping off the hangover. I hope they will be gone long enough for Gerard to wake up.
Sure enough, it takes less than an hour before he is up and puking his guts out in the trash can.
"I think I'm sick."
"No Gerard, you have a hangover." I say simply, hoping he won't deny the error of his ways.
"Why would I have a hangover?! I wasn't drunk."
"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! I thought you were getting better Gerard, you can't just give up after 2 and a half days! This is ridiculous! I don't know if I should slap you or ... Ugh! I just don't know!" I finally blew up on him.
"There is nothing wrong with me, Ray! I don't understand you!"
"Well, I don't understand you! Yesterday you wanted to be better and stop being drunk and fucked up all the time!"
"I'm not drunk, I wasn't drunk last night and I'm not fucked up!" He yelled back at me. "I don't understand why you think I need saving!" I sighed inwardly, did he really think that way. Was this all real? We just want the old Gerard back. He needs to go back to the way he was before he started all of this. He hardly ever draws anymore, he doesn't read comic books. When ever he's not drunk or high, all he does is sit there and stare into blank space. Depression has stolen our friend from us and we have to get him back.
"I can't believe you! Do you even realize what this is doing to us, what this is doing to your brother?! What about the band. Your dependency on alcohol and drugs is ruining everything you wanted your life to be and everything we, as a group, have worked for!" He wasn't even blinking an eye. "If you aren't going to listen to me, I'm not going to waste my breath." I started toward the door but then I turn back around. "We didn't even tell Mikey about what you did last night. Make sure it stays that way." I walk out the door. It was kind of my instinct to protect Mikey in this kind of situation. He has been my friend for a long time and I can't stand to see him breaking down like I know he is on the inside. It actually really hurts me to see my friends in so much pain but Mikey is not the main problem right now. Gerard is causing me the most pain.

Gerard’s POV

After Ray left for his walk or whatever he was doing, I went into the bathroom searching around for my Xanax. I tried to think about where Ray would have put it. I can’t think of anywhere but when I open his bag I see it at the bottom. I’m not going to let them stop me from getting what I need.
I only take one pill because it makes me sleepy and we have to perform later tonight. Then I turn the shower on and get in. Finally we are hooked up to a water system! I was pretty sure that everyone else had showered last night. After washing my hair, I get out and dry off. Then I put on my skeleton pajamas.
I hop up into my bed, closing the curtain. Then I put headphones my headphones in. The pill is already taking effect on me so I can’t help but drift in and out of sleep.
At about 5:30 the I hear a loud banging as the door slams open and Frank, Bob and Mikey walk in, followed by Ray. He must have met them outside.
I hear the familiar sound of foot steps approaching my bunk and sure enough, the curtain is pulled aside to reveal Mikey.
“Hey Gerard, it’s time to get ready for our performance.” I sit up and throw my legs over the side of the bed. I go into the bathroom to grab my make up bag and I silently freak out as I see that I had never put the pill bottle away. I mutter something about having to pee and then I hurriedly close the door so that they won’t see it. I place the lid back on the bottle and try to arrange it in Ray’s bag so that he won’t suspect that I had used it again. Then I flush the toilet and turn the water on so that they think I was actually using the bathroom.
I walk out and grab my show clothes from where I had left them last time I used them. I strip off the pajamas and put my other clothes on. Then I find one of the many mirrors on the walls of the bus and start applying my makeup.
When everybody is ready, we walk out the door of the bus and walk across the parking lot to the back door of the arena. I already notice that there are bodyguards following us. That probably means that there are already fans arriving for the concert.
We kind of just hang around backstage until one of the stage crew comes to tell us it is time for us to go on. The whole time we have been sitting in silence. Mikey was playing games on his phone but the others just sat there and zoned out. Ray didn’t look at me once.
We opened the concert with “Thank You For The Venom” and played almost every song from both albums, ending on “Honey, This Mirror Ain’t Big Enough For the Two Of Us”. We exited the stage to massive applause and cheering. Sure enough, there was Bert McCracken waiting for me. Of course I was happy to see him but nobody else was. None of them approved of him in the slightest. He thrust a solo cup into my hand as soon as we came within arms reach and I drank the mystery liquid, aware that my band was watching me. Probably the only thing that stopped Ray from punching me in the face was the fact that Mikey was still here, only about 10 feet away. He had turned away when he saw Bert.
Making sure that Mikey had his back turned, Frank approached my shoulder and whispered into my ear; “What the fuck are you doing?!” He looked slightly angry.
“Chill out, Frank. I’m fine.” He backed off a little as a glared at him. We then continued to party but I didn’t see Ray anywhere. He had probably gone back to the bus so that he didn’t have to see me “Ruin myself”.
The party didn’t last very long so after about an hour we all headed back to the bus to play video games. Ray was in the shower when we got there. Thank God! I do not need him on my back twice in one day. The other guys were a little bit drunk too so they didn’t really notice that I wasn’t sober. Ray opened the door of the bathroom and Mikey rushed in. Ray laughed a little but didn’t come join us. He laid down in his bunk and closed the curtain. A few hours later, the rest of the guys went to bed but I just sat down on the couch. I had slept for pretty much the whole day so I knew that I wouldn’t sleep tonight.

Notes

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