The next day wasn’t so bad. My body still hurt like crazy and I had a strong headache that dragged over me from the moment I had awoken to the moment I fell asleep in the evening. And even though I didn’t have art today, I still made my way to Mr. Way’s classroom at beginning of lunch, hoping he’d be there. I looked through the small window that had clear view of the classroom, seeing him sitting behind his desk, his look buried in a book. I knocked, before slowly opening the door, immediately meeting his look.
“Frankie, h- Oh my god!” was his immediate response when he saw my face. He dropped down the book, almost running to me.
“It’s fine, it doesn’t hurt that much” I assured him as he placed me down on one of the chair, kneeling down before me.
“Why do you let him do this Frank?” he asked, clearly concerned, but all I could think about was his hand, which he casually place on my tight, to keep balance.
“Honestly, I’ve been asking myself the same question” I smirked, looking in to his hazel eyes that now seemed darker, almost as dark as mine. He scanned my face for a second, then gently pulled me in to a hug. His arms tightly wrapped around my aching body, his head tucked on my neck and shoulder, his body so close to mine. I buried my head in to his chest, taking in the warmth of his body, the smell of his cologne and cigarettes filling my nose once again. Without me even realising it, tears started slowly running down my cheeks and I tried to do my best not to soak his red shirt.
“I just wish I could help you” mumbled Mr. Way, slowly letting go of me. I consider my next words bold and completely un-thought through, but I said them with the most confidence and honesty.
“You being in my life is help enough Mr. Way”
His eyes met mine, and I don’t know if it was my imagination, but I think I saw a spark of joy and hope in his eyes, like he was waiting his entire life to hear me say those words.
His hand slowly reached up to my cheek, cupping it softly. I leaned my head in to his palm, still keeping my eyes on his, watching as they combed through every detail of my face.
It was clear to me that something was on his mind, something he wanted to do, but didn’t allow himself to have that pleasure. It was so clear in his eyes, like a spark that kept in alive during the day, like a bright gleams of hope.
His face was so close to mine now, that I could feel his warm breath on my skin, I could almost taste his soft, pink lips and how they would feel against mine. I was afraid to breath, because even the smallest of mistakes could ruin this moment, make it disappear like it never existed in the first place.
“Frankie, you’re shaking” gently said Mr. Way, taking my hand in his free one. I haven’t even noticed, but when I looked down at my hands they were quivering out of control, like I’d drank too much coffee in the morning or over dosed on energy drinks, which I only drank when I really needed it or we were out of coffee at home.
“Wow” I breathed out in a smirk, trying to pull myself under control.
“Are you sure you’re feeling okay?” asked Mr. Way, removing his hand from my cheek and taking both of my hands in to his in the attempt of keeping them still.
“Yes, I’m sure. But there is one thing I wanted to ask you Mr. Way”
“Gerard, please. Call me Gerard” he said without a pause, a smile appearing on his face. ‘Gerard’ I sounded out in my head and it felt like I was saying the name of a supernatural being, an angel of some sort, but I’ll it was, was his name. And I guess it fitted him, since he was my angel, the purest imagine that my eyes could see in this world. I smiled widely, knowing now that he trusted me with his name, and it meant so much to me.
“Okay, amm... Gerard, I do have one question” I smiled, blushing at the sound of his name coming out of my lips.
“And which question would that be?” he asked, a big bright smile on his face.
“Yesterday when we talked, you said there was another reason why I’m important to you”
Mr. Way or scratch that, Gerard, nodded, letting me continue.
“Well, could you tell me that reason?”
Gerard looked up at me, studying my face for a second, realising I was being serious with my question.
“Frank, sweetheart, I told you that neither you nor I are ready to hear that reason” he repeated his words from yesterday, adding the ‘sweetheart’ part, that made my heart pound against my chest, sending a bright red blush to my cheeks and, unfortunately, made my dick twitch. Don’t get me wrong, I loved how he could turn me on with even on simple word, but I didn’t really like having a boner in school for everyone to see.
“But I just...” I wanted to protest, but then changed my mind to give him another question.
“When will we be ready to hear that reason?”
Gerard raised his eyebrow at my eagerness, a smirk running across his face.
“In all honesty Frank, I hope soon. Because same as you, I don’t know how much longer I can wait” he said, while his look glided down to my crotch. I blushed even harder. Holy. Fucking. Shit! Did he really just look at my crotch while I had a very visible boner.
Not that I didn’t like it, again, it was a very pleasant sight and to know he might be interested and share the same feelings as I did, but nevertheless I did kind of seem wrong for a teacher to stare at his students bulge.
Then the bell rang, snapping Gerard out of his trance and he returned his look back to my eyes.
“I’m sorry, Frankie-“
“It’s fine” I quickly interrupted him, feeling how heat of embarrassment spread through my body.
“Well, then, you better get a move on, so you won’t be late for class” he said, straightening up and fixing his shirt and tie. I nodded in agreement.
“And if you need anything, anything at all, you just come and see me, alright?” he added, returning to his desk.
“Yeah, sure” I grabbed my bag and headed towards the door to rush to my next class, which was History, but was stopped by Gerard’s soft voice.
“And Frankie, please don’t make the mistake of calling me by my name in class. It might freak out the other students” he said, with a teasing smile painted across his face. I nodded again, then almost ran to the History classroom.
Throughout the day I kept feeling his look on my hardened member, making me lust for his touch even more.
But I had to push the thought away, when I entered Gina’s room at the hospital at 3 o’clock.
“Hey, Iero” she smiled when she saw me.
“Gina, I need to talk to you” I immediately said, sitting down next to her on the bed. She saw my serious face, the smile on her face disappearing instantly.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, placing her hand on mine.
“It’s... it’s just...” I was dead set to tell her about my feelings about Mr.W—Gerard, and how I thought he might feel the same way about me. I was going to tell her, because I knew I could trust her, because I knew she would take my secrets to her grave. Maybe that was a bad choice of words, but it was true. But then something in my mind stopped me. How could I tell her about that? Hey Gina, just so you know, I think I love my art teacher and I fantasize about him every day and he gives me full on boners sometimes. Yeah, that’s one way to go.
“Frankie?” she snapped me out of my thoughts.
“I amm...” I mumbled, not really sure anymore what to say.
“Oh, just spit it out Iero!” she got impatient, giving me a firm look.
“Okay, okay... Ammm... I think I might like a guy” I murmured, looking at her from under my forehead. Her eyes widen and a big smile stretched.
“Oh my god! Really?” she gasped, pulling me close to her, expecting me to say more.
“Yeah” I sheepishly smiled, feeling a blush feel my cheeks.
“Tell me about him. Where did you meet? What’s he like? How old is he?” the questions just came flooding out of her mouth, swarming me like bees. When she finally shut up, I looked up at her.
“I think it’s best if you don’t know that much about him, GG” I quietly said, hoping she would start yelling at me.
“What?” a smile was still playing on her face, but it was clear in her eyes that she was not as confused at what I said, then she was upset, angered and disappointed.
“I’m sorry Gina… it’s just-“
“No, it’s fine. I get it, you just don’t trust me” she interrupted me. It didn’t bother me that she was like that, because it had happened before. Every time I had a secret and didn’t want to tell her, she tried to guilt me in to telling her, by acting like she was mad and disappointed at me.
“GG, stop I know what you’re going” I sighed. She rolled her eyes, kind of admitting defeat in her own weird way.
“Why can’t I know about him?” she then asked, raising her eyebrow at me.
“Because... I don’t know, I just… can’t risk it” I barely got out, but she understood me. She knew I wasn’t ready to tell her, and she expected that. That’s why she’s my best friend. She always understands me, even when I don’t understand myself.
“I just wanna know one thing, if it’s okay?” she looked at me with a serious face.
“Okay…” I mumbled.
“Will you be happy with this guy?”
I didn’t even have to think about this. Gerard and I weren’t even together and he care for me like I was the most important, most precious being in the world. Just seeing him at school made my heart flutter. My head was in the clouds every time I got a whiff of his manly scent. Yes. Yes I would be happy with him.
“Yes, of course I’ll be” I smiled.
“Okay, then I think… I prove, kind of” she giggled.
We hugged tightly, just as the door opened and in came, no other then, Mikey.
“Hey, am I interrupting anything?” he politely asked, closing the door behind him.
“No, come here you” smiled Gina, releasing me from the hug, extending her hands to Mikey, expecting a hug from him.
“How you feeling?” Mikey asked Gina, his face buried in her shoulder.
“Well, I have a tub running in to my lungs, my lungs suck at being lungs and my time on this world is running out faster than I thought. Besides that, I’m fine” she giggled, making some more room on the bed for Mikey. Mikey’s looked then travelled to my face and his jaw dropped immediately.
“Wow, Frank, dude, that happened to your face?” he gasped.
“Don’t ask…” I sighed, falling back on the soft pillow.
“Ask your brother if you wanna know” I added.
“Okay…” Mikey, mumbled then returned his attention to Gina. After of 5 minutes of them talking, I excused myself, to give them some space. They were so perfect together, like they were long lost soulmates that have finally found each other.
I made my way to the vending machine at the end of the hall. I scanned the small packets of foods and cans of fizzy drinks through the fingertips stained glass. I put in a couple of coins, then pressed two buttons, making the packet of chips fall down. I grabbed then out of the vending machine, then went back to Gina’s room, but stopped right before I reached for the door handle.
Why interrupt something that might blossom in to a beautiful relationship by lingering around.
I turned around and walked straight out of the hospital, leaving Gina a text with an excuse about why I had to leave.
I walked around the seemingly small town I have been calling home for the past 17 years, just eating my chips and thinking about my red haired angel. I was still curious about what the second reason was, but knowing that the secretive reason might me relieved soon, made my curiosity settle just a little bit.

I relived the moment we shared today at lunch time. His worried eyes, his scent, his touch and his look. It was all burned inside my brain, keeping me happy. I actually started smiling to myself, imagining his smile, then his perfect lips and his perfect, calm voice. How naturally my name sounded coming from his mouth.

Notes

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