Home Is Where The Heart Is

Gerard's P.O.V I smiled as Mum, Dad, Mikey, Ray, Frank and Bob walked in. Wait....where's Kat? I frown as I look at Mum. "Where's Kat?" I ask, quietly. Mum smiles as she kisses my forehead. "She'll be in soon, dear." She said, stroking my hair. Mikey smiled. "My brother, the hero." He practically danced on the spot. I rolled my eyes. "Give it a rest, bruv." I sighed. "If I was just a little sooner, I could have stopped...." I broke off, closing my eyes. Mikey, Ray, Frank and Bob's phone's buzzed. They all answered them at the same time. "It's from Kat." Mikey grinned. My eyes flew open. "What's it say?" I asked. All four of them frowned but didn't answer. They just looked at each other. "What?" I asked. They all looked at their feet. Still no answer. Now I'm getting pissed. "What the fuck is it?" I practically shouted. Mikey snapped his head up to look at me. "She's...err....she's.....gone." He said, quietly. "What do you mean, gone?" I snapped. "Gone where? When's she coming back?" Mikey looked at Frank with pleading eyes. Frank bit his bottom lip and sighed as he looked at me. He looked worried. "She....err....didn't.....didn't.....err....say where." He muttered. I looked back at Mikey. "When's she coming back?" I asked. What are they hiding? Mikey looked down at his feet. "S...she's not." He said, quietly. I stared up at the ceiling. I save her and she leaves me? She just walks away without even a proper break up conversation? I was right. I've always been right. I'm not worth it. I'm nothing. No matter what I do, I'll never be good enough. I wish I'd had fucking died. So I'll do the fucking world a favour. 'I'll kill myself. That way no one has to put up with this waste of skin. I'll slit my throat. I'm sure it won't be hard to get a scalpel. I am in a hospital after all.' Mikey's P.O.V I know Gerard is off in his own world now. But he doesn't realise he's talking out loud. All of us heard him mention killing himself. Tears run down my cheeks as I text Kat. To Kat: You have to come back. Gerard's losing it. He's talking about getting a scalpel and slitting his own throat. Please. I can't lose him. Dad held Gerard down as he started to rip out his stitches. There was blood everywhere. Ray ran out to get a doctor. He returned with a male doctor and two male orderlies. "There's blood everywhere." Someone said. I missed some of the conversation because Gerard was pretty loud. "We need him on suicide watch." To Kat: Their putting him on suicide watch. Don't do this. He really loves you. He searched everywhere for you when you were missing. He didn't eat or sleep. He spent most night's in the abandoned warehouse. He did everything he could to save you. You said you loved him. Or was that a lie? Is he right? Do you really hate him? I'm going to lose my brother. I can't lose him. I can't. I won't live without him. If he dies, so do I. Don't think I won't. Gerard is my life. I love my brother more than anything in the world. Even more than Mum and Dad. Please come back. I can't live without him. Please, Kat. Don't hurt him anymore. Please. I watched as they strapped Gerard to the bed. I filmed it all on my phone. They put a needle in his arm. Oh god. He's petrified of needles. I watched as he slowly drifted unconscious. I slid down the wall behind me to sit on the floor, hugging my legs. I stared at my brother and cried. Everyone tried to make me leave the room. But I refused. I'm not leaving him. I don't care what they say or do. I'm staying with my brother. My phone buzzed a text after everyone left me alone with Gerard. From Kat: He'll be okay without me. He'll be better off. He won't kill himself. I stared at the text in anger. To Kat: Bullshit. I know Gerard. He's never been this bad. He's lost it. What you saw at the warehouse was nothing compared to this. He torn his stitches out with his bare fucking hands. There was blood everywhere. See for yourself. I sent the video. I got up and walked over to Gerard. He had a few scratches on his face. Self inflicted. The video showed him thrashing around, screaming that he's going to slit his own throat. How he's a waste of skin. How no one loves him because he's nothing. How the world would be better off without this worthless piece of shit. All the time he thrashed about. Mum stood back, crying as she watched. Even with the doctor, the two orderlies and Dad, he still managed to scratch himself. He even punched each of them. Dad included. Dad has a impressive black eye now. The doctor has a bruise forming on his cheek. One orderly has a split lip, the other has a broken nose. But none of them blamed Gerard. He didn't know what he was doing. I grabbed his hand as I looked at the restraints. "I can't lose you, Gee." I said as I looked in his face. "I can't ever be without you. Your my idol, ya know? You are amazing and I love you. Please don't leave me. If you die, I will kill myself too. Because I don't want to live in a world without my big brother. Without you. We're a team. The Way brother's. Always there for each other. No matter what. If your not here, who do I beat at guitar hero? Who do I fight with over the TV remote? Who do I look up to? We have plans, remember? Me, you, Ray, Frank and Bob. A band. We already have a name. My Chemical Romance. Without the lead vocalist, there is no My Chemical Romance. Without you there's no My Chemical Romance. We're supposed to be changing lives through the music, remember? I can't do that without you. Please don't leave me." I sat on the edge of the bed and cried, my head in my hands. I was oblivious to the door opening, till I heard a sob. I looked up to see Kat stood at the bottom of the bed. Her eyes were red and puffy. She stared at Gerard with one hand over her mouth and her eyes wide. "I hope your here to save my brother." I sobbed. "Because he's in these fucking restraints because of you. Because he thinks you hate him." Gerard's P.O.V I woke up to two voices, talking. A male and a female. I couldn't quite work out who they were. So I stayed quiet and kept my eyes closed. "He's never been as bad as this before." Sounds like mikey. "But he's never been completely in love before. He saved you and you walk out on him without any explanation? That's fucking low. You said your life is crap? That you always feel unwanted? So you know how Gerard feels. He hated his life till you came along. Now he feels unwanted and worthless. If you leave, my parents lose two sons. Because I will kill myself so I don't have to live without my brother. Because if you leave, he will kill himself. That I can guarantee one hundred percent." I heard the female sob. Kat? I opened my eyes. "Doesn't matter anymore." I said. They both swung round to look at me. "I get it now." I sighed, looking up at the ceiling. "I'm not supposed to be in love. I'm not supposed to be here. I'm supposed to die. So I will. You don't have to leave. You can live with Mr and Mrs Way. They can adopt you. Mikey and me always were outcasts. So we'll go together. As it should be. How it's meant to be." I looked at Mikey. "I can't be here anymore. But I can't leave you." Mikey gave me a sad smile. "So we'll go together." He said, quietly. I smiled back. "We'll go now." I told him. "Maybe we could go to the roof? It's high enough." Kat sobbed louder. "NO." I looked at her, emotionless. "Why do you care?" I asked. "You never loved me. You lied to me. Made me love you, then left me. I don't blame you though. I'm not worth anything. So you don't have to even think about my wortless existence anymore." I looked back at Mikey as he released the restraints. He helped me stand up, then helped me walk out the room. We headed for the roof. I stood, side by side with Mikey. On the ledge, looking down at the drop from the high hospital roof to the concrete parking lot below. I looked at Mikey. "You can back out, ya know?" I told him. "So can you." He answered. We turned, our backs to the edge as several people called us. Mum, Dad, Ray, Frank, Bob and Kat stood watching us. A scared expression on their face

Notes

Dedicated to MCR Babe 124 and ATOMIC_IMPLODER. Hope you enjoyed it. Love as always.xxx