Not Enough, I'm Never Enough

"Hey," he says, greeting me with a warm smile. "I'm Frank, the head counselor of this school. Welcome to Belleville High! I'm sure you'll come to love it. Here's your timetable, and look for me if you need help getting by." He hands me a crisp sheet of paper that shows all of my classes and their timings, and heads off with his girlfriend who gives me a (dirty) look before turning away. There they leave me, standing in the middle of the school hallways, in absolute denial of everything in my life.

I glance down at the paper in bewilderment. Math, first period. Biology, second. Chemistry. History. Art. ART. Thank goodness there's Art, I think, heaving a sigh of relief. With a somewhat burdened heart, I walk towards my classroom for first period.

Before I come to things proper, allow me to introduce myself. I am Gerard Arthur Way, an eighteen-year-old kid who evidently does not belong in this world. I am constantly bullied by everyone in school, and one incident after another always keeps piling up before the Principal finally sends me to another school. It keeps happening, and this is my sixth transfer. Oh, well. I guess this one won't even last a week.

Anyway, you might be wondering why I'm the one getting expelled and not the bullies themselves. Well, let's just say teachers keep favourites-the students they constantly chat with, give good grades to and write excellent reports and testimonials about for whatever the purpose. Those kids usually end up being the popular ones in school, liked by everyone and generally leading a nice and fulfilling school life. Like this Frank Iero. Probably.

I'm definitely not part of that list, though. I dress in black, wear eyeliner, hardly talk, get average grades, drink, smoke and self-harm. To make matters worse, I'm openly gay. I personally have no problem admitting this about myself to everyone, because, well-what's the point? You should never be ashamed of who you are.

However, this philosophy of mine has turned out to be a calamity for me. People have begun despising me, and my Catholic parents don't approve of it one bit. The only person who supports me, cares for me and belays me till the end of life is my dear brother Mikey. He's the only person I share all my troubles and thoughts with, and he always listens no matter how much I rant. But since he's a junior at a different school, there's no way I can ask him to come round to this school and defend me. No, I can't do that. Besides, he's younger. I'm supposed to be the stronger one.

In a nutshell, because of my somewhat dirty reputation, whenever a fight breaks out between me and my bullies, I will end up receiving the blame although I only ever act in self-defense. This all lies within the simple fact that I am a nobody and they are the popular 'successful' group of people-it's unfair, but we can't do anything about it. #LifeIsAnAsshole

I suddenly stop and turn back, a thought occurring to me. I catch a glimpse of Belleville's Head Student Councillor, the guy who has just passed me the timetable, turning round the bend that leads to the classrooms in the right wing with his girlfriend. Although he seems really nice, I can't be too sure. Councillors always end up hating me after catching me smoking in the field or gulping down a bottle of whiskey I always smuggle into school. They have the rights to give demerits, and boy, do they give them. Whether it's a situation when you come late to school or you're not dressed properly-demerit. Five demerits account for a three-hour detention after school and a personal reflection, as well as a mark on your school records. It's the same rules for every school I've been to, and I have a feeling that this school will not be different. Discipline is a very important aspect of the curriculum in our state.

Speaking for myself, I've done this quite a few times, usually after fights when I defend myself from bullies but get accused by everyone as starting the attacks. After usually about five of these incidents in each school, the number of demerits I get accumulate so much that I finally get expelled.

My parents are not happy with me about this. Mikey's really worried about my well-being, as he knows that I suffer from severe anxiety and depression. I no longer have friends; they have left me for better people. Everyone, in school and in public, shoot me dirty looks because of my outfit and makeup. I do not have qualities that will help me survive in this fast-paced world. I...I am not even human. I am a nobody.

These depressing thoughts enter my head as I continue to stay rooted to the ground, a picture of Frank Iero's pale, beautiful and cheerful face when he was welcoming me burned onto my retina for some reason. The late bell starts ringing, the ominous boom resounding through the empty hallway. But I couldn't care less.

Gerard, welcome to the seventh station of hell. Belleville High School.

Notes

Oh um. Hey. So this is the first chapter, the second one will be up tomorrow.

Oh and by the way guys. Did you see that video of Frank yelling at this abusive girl to get the hell out of his show? It's so cool how he's such a no-nonsense person. You do NOT want to mess with him. XD

G'day!