Demoralized Prey

Song of the Chapter: We Are Broken -Paramore

*Flash Forward*

Gerard and I were walking down Center Street. Everything was silent. It was only 9 in the morning and everyone that lived on the street mostly kept to themselves.The fog hung low to the ground. My feet were soundless as they scuffed the gravel. He hadn't spoken much since earlier.

Neither of us even wanted to go on this walk. Mrs. Way just thought that it would be good for Gee to get some air. Unfortunately, she was unaware of how tense things were between us. So,being the lovely person she is, she thought I would be the best person to try and receive answers from him. Ugh, I hate my life. So. Fucking. Much!

We turned onto May Street and I just decided to get it over with, so I stopped. He took a few extra steps and then realized that I was no longer beside him. He looked back at him expectantly.

"What the hell is going on?" I said in monotone. His face fell to confusion. "Don't play with me. Not up for dialogue? Fine. But I know something's up with you."

He was quiet for a few seconds. "I'm okay." He spoke just above a whisper.
I don't know why, but something about those two words pissed me off. They always have.

"Gerard don't bullshit me. You know I hate that with a severe passion." I peeved.

"I mean it. I'm actually okay." He said a little louder.

Even. Worse.

"Yeah okay. So I guess that would mean I'm a straight A student at Harvard. Right? I mean in a parallel universe I guess we'd both be telling the truth." I cocked an eyebrow.

"Frankie I-"

"No! You what? You're alright. You're fine and dandy. Lemme guess you're also pencil straight and enjoy holding 7 mm needle tips now too?! Wow I never knew that college could make the impossible happen over the course of 10 and a half months! Must be some real good programs they got up there." I scoffed. He was silent. It was definitely for the best, but I was so beyond pissed. I was enraged almost. I kept taking hits at him. I wanted to push him as far as possible, and then even farther.

"If you're so okay, then tell me something Gerard or better yet, answer this! What did you get Mikey for his birthday last year and who told you that it was what he really wanted?" This was easy, but as much as it was out of spite, I did have good reasoning for such an abrupt question.

"What?!" He yelled.

"I said, what did you get Mikey for his 15th and who told you to get it for him?"

"How does that even remotely relate to anything?" Dammit, he's stalling. This isn't good.

"I'm just curious." I crossed my arms.

"Frankie. please don't" He pleaded. "I'm too tired."

"Answer it!"

He looked down at his beat up Chucks and then back to me. His expression was challenging.
"Or what?"

"What?" I was taken by surprise at that one.

"What if I don't. Then what?" He just set himself up for war. I've got my retort ready and I'm absolutely merciless. Fuck what it means, I'm getting him from behind and I'm taking him down to hell with me. Maybe he'll meet my dad there, he's always wanted to. Ah, I 'muse myself.

"Come again?" I played dumb.

"If I don't answer your question, what are you going to do Frankie?" He was too easy. He'd just given me my first knife to jab at him with, and he didn't even realize.

"Don't call me that! I'm not your fucking baby, or boyfriend, or fuck buddy, or other half! I'm not your soul mate. fuck I'm not even your friend! Holy fucking shit, you went to a high class college and came back worse! How did that happen? You and I are nothing! I have nothing to care for about you!! You are not even half of an eighth of zero of an acquaintance to me. You're basically about as close to me as Jennifer fucking Lawrence! Don't fucking call me FRANKIE!! Don't call me at all!! I fucking hate you and I wish and pray to God that I get amnesia and just forget every fucking thing about you! Everything we've ever done, said, or even thought about each other. Except this! This is okay! I want to remember the fact that I hate you so fucking much!! I can't stand you any longer! We have nothing keeping us together or even in the same contact pool! I don't talk to any of your fucking class ass friends anymore, so we don't have to worry about that anymore. Mike and Vic hardly ever hang together so you can keep Mike and I'll just go off and fuck Vic! Yeah, sound good? Well, either way I don't give a fuck about anything you could ever say to me anyway so, whatever!" Well...that was a bit much. Okay, I was totally insane to say that. I regretted it the minute I finished, but I felt so much better.

His face dropped and he immediately ducked his head away so I couldn't see his tears running like sprinklers in summer. He turned around and just walked away. He wobbled a bit and eventually he just sat down on the curb.

In all honesty, I felt like a total asshole and I knew I was one. Just over a decade of friendship and 3 years of being together, and I just told him that he was nothing. Beyond nothing! I'm such a fuck up! Ugh!!! Why would I do that? My mouth started and then it just went somewhere I never knew. I said I was merciless and I was. That wasn't hell, that was straight up being Satan's bitch. That was just living in his layer and sleeping on coals while he fucked you all night. Shit!! I fucked up.

I finally came to sit with him. His head was in his knees and he was still. I couldn't see his face, he buried it so deep in his thighs that it was probably about to pop off of his neck. However, I could hear him loud and clear. That's when I really knew that I was a God forsaken demon. Gerard was always a silent crier. Even when Elena died he would cry silently. I never even knew that was crying unless I looked at him directly. But now, fuck.

I knelled down beside him and just wrapped my arms around his whole fetus positioned frame. I rested my head beside his on the crook of his neck. He just cried louder. We sat like that for minutes. Then I stood up and moved in front of him. I sat on the road just before his knees and slowly started to bring them apart. At first he just adjusted them closed again, but he eventually gave in and opened them.

His face was extremely flushed and his cheeks looked deflated from the salt that compounded in his tear drop. He bit his lip to silence his sobs. I felt a huge wash of embarrassment and awkward expectancy come over me. I knew that if I waited too long he would rewind back to his previous position, but I hadn't quite thought of was I was going to say. I didn't want to sound mean, or act like I wanted to get back together. I just wanted to sound like a friend. Just a friend. It's been a while since I was just a friend. I forgot what to do.

"Uh.." I coughed trying to stall for just a second longer, but I smoke so it just came out dry and stale. "I, uh, I did-. No. I wan-. No. See I jus-. Hm..." Then I just went for it. "I lied."

It was silent between us. "I lied about a lot of those things. I don't think of you as nothing and I don't want to forget anything about us. I, uh, I don't hate you. I am your--. We are more than acquaintances and I do care about you. And I definitely will not be fucking Vic anytime soon, or ever probably. I just said all that stuff..."

The silence was intense. My shit of an apology was really awkward and it sounded emotionless, but I really did mean it.

He coughed. "I believe you." And with that he stood up and started to walk away.

"And.." I said. He stopped in his tracks and turned around. "..you can call me. You know, whatever you want. I-I don't mind really. "

He started walking back to me. His steps were quicker than they were originally. He stopped in front of me. Then he leaned down (because I'm shorter) and hugged me. He hugged me like I was dying. Or even, like he was dying. Dying to hug me like that. He just kept hugging. He didn't let go. Not for a while. And I didn't care.

"I will, Frankie." He obviously added my name at the end to support his sentence.

We parted and he looked down at the concrete. Almost like he was expecting me to be mad or angry again. But I just stood there, waiting for him to realize that I was fine with it.

But as much as I wanted to keep quiet, I did have one thing to ask him. "Hey, uh, Gerard?"

His head shot up like I'd startled him. "Y-yeah Frankie?"

"Do you remember?"

"R-remember what?"

"What you got Mikey and who told you to?" I hated to be pushy, but it was no longer a spiteful question. I really did have an important reason.

He tensed up in fear and he got all shady for a second, but he finally sighed and let it go. "N-n-no.."

My heart dropped 10 feet .

Let me explain. When Gerard takes his medication, his brain is forced to focus and function a bit more. Thus, causing his senses to heighten, sights to widen and memory capacity to expand to that of a photographic memorizer. Unfortunately, it also causes it all to fail and falter worse than before when he doesn't taake it. So my question was simple. The correct answers are his first bass guitar and I told Gerard that Mikey had really wanted one, given the fact that he'd been practicing on mine for over a year. Now, if Gerard was really 100%, he would've made a point to tell me that it's a cherry glossed Fender, but he didn't 'cus he wasn't. Which only means one thing. He hasn't taken his medication. His behavior was changing and his emotions were already defaulting into depression. All because of that. Because of it. Because, he's seeing things that haven't been created. He's seeing them. Again.

Notes

Well,
That was long
And half of it wasn't even in there originally
But the original was boring
So I revamped it
Sorry it took forever to upload
But that's why
Anywhore
There's some anti- Frerard for you
Followed by some friendly Frerard
Soon comes the cute shit
But there's somethings left to cover
So just be on the look out
Comment
Send some feedback my way 'cus I get lonely
Love You Pickles!
PS. I will be updating SSU but I lost the book that I wrote it in
So I'll find it and then send some lovin that way
(; ;)
Thanks For Reading!!
-AToxicKilljoy