I never told you what I do for a living.

The empty feeling that rested in the place where my heart once has been, wasn’t going away any time soon. This feeling was here to stay for a long time, I was afraid.

It has been two hours since Gerard walked away and closed the door behind him but it already felt like eternity.

I always fell for the people I couldn’t have. I was married once. Her name was Jamia and she was absolutely beautiful. We met right after I came back from the war. She was the owner of a pub in a small Spanish village at the Spanish coast and she was pouring me a drink. We continued to take a drink together and started talking and the talking ended in her bed that night.

She was absolutely amazing. Right after I asked her to marry me, we moved to England and we got our own house. Everything seemed to go absolutely well, until she was accused of witchcraft.

The thing was, she knew what I was and she didn’t mind. Other people had their suspicions about me, but I could keep up an amazing poker face and next to that, they were deadly afraid of me. Jamia was goodness itself so she was an easy target and they accused her of witchcraft. Once I had to leave a week or three, she was arrested and thrown in a dungeon. When I came back, they had already tortured her so badly that she died during it. There was nothing I could do to save her anymore.

She once asked me if I could change her. She wanted to be the same as I was and the most important thing was that she wanted to stay alive with me forever. At first I refused her request since I knew how hard it had been for me and I didn’t want to put her through that. Yet she persisted on what she wanted, even though I told her many times that the transition would be very hard on her.

I had promised her that I would change her as soon as I came back from the trip, since I didn’t want her to be alone during her transition, but I was too late.

After Jamia’s death I fled to the land of opportunities to build up a new life, follow the American dream and such and that’s how I ended up here.

I still miss her. She knew what I was capable of and she still accepted and loved me. I still don’t understand how it was possible, but she did anyways. She accepted me more than even my own family ever did. She must’ve truly loved me.

Sometimes I wondered how everything had gone if I had changed her. Would we have kids? I will never know. I don’t even know if it was possible with me being a vampire and she being a normal human girl, even if I turned her into a vampire.

I always thought I imprinted on her, but apparently I didn’t. I loved her very much and very deeply, that was true. I even wanted her to be the mother of my children and to stay by my side forever, but the storm of emotions I got when Gerard kissed me, I haven’t felt before.

On the inside it killed me that he didn’t feel the same. Why would he even kiss me then? A part of me thought that I had scared him off with my reaction, which I totally didn’t meant to. I know I love Gerard very much, but I could have never thought I would be imprinting on him.

Except I did.

So there I was, sitting on my couch in the dark while crying my eyes out. It wasn’t a pretty sight, let me tell you that. It was more pathetic. Time didn’t feel like it was passing and the hurt didn’t leave. They say time heals all wounds but at this moment that was very hard for me to believe.

After a while, while my crying seemed to decrease, it was almost as if I could hear Gerard calling for me.

“What the fuck is going on?” I heard myself say.

I bet my mind was pulling some sick prank on me.

Then I heard it again. I heard Gerard call my name and it was very clear.

I knew something was wrong. Terribly wrong. So I decided to go out and look what was going on exactly.

I grabbed my coat from the coat hanger and ran out of the door while wrestling to get my coat on.

The weather outside was chilly and something seemed off. As I approached the section of town where the bars were located, there was not a soul out on the streets.That was the first sign to me that something was really wrong.

The atmosphere wasn’t the way it usually was. It was cold and empty instead of the lively atmosphere that was around normally.

Something wasn’t right. My gut feeling was going lunatic and even the smell was… different. Something bad was about to happen.

Total silence. Not the murmuring from the people out on the streets, not even the chirping of the birds was to be heard. I haven’t been in many situations where I’ve experienced such total silence. I looked around to look at the surroundings and took it all in.

The only ones that accompanied me were the moon and the setting sun. Somehow Gerard and I were much like the moon and the sun. Complete opposites, but the one couldn’t be whole without the other.

Suddenly I heard a deafening screech and my feet froze to the ground.

This was bad, very bad.

I started to run towards the direction the sound came from and what I found there made me sick to my stomach. There was Gerard, laying on the ground with a crimson red, sphere of energy around him. On both his sides were standing two witches hand in hand, chanting some old verses. I had absolutely no clue what they were saying but from the energy that it was radiating, this wasn’t the slightest of good.

The purest of rage washed over me when I looked at them. Gerard was twitching and unconscious underneath them. This wasn’t supposed to be happening.

I let out a primal growl before I ran to them as fast as I could. My lips curled over my teeth, my fangs clearly visible. I could feel my eyes becoming the crimson color they used to be when I was hunting. This was the dark side of me taking over, and I quite liked it in this situation.

They were not going to take Gerard away from me. I’d rather have him alive and not wanting to speak to me than dead. If he died, that meant that I didn’t have any purpose to live anymore. This isn’t about me being self-centered and wanting him to be mine and mine alone, this was me wanting to sacrifice my life for him.

Within seconds I reached them. The only thing I could see was pure red. It didn’t matter to me who was in front of me, they would end up dead soon.

I got to fight the younger witch as soon as possible. She was an easy target, it was clear that she didn’t have any experience with fighting whatsoever. I grabbed her hair very harshly and brought her neck to my throat. As my fangs sank into her white neck, they bit down harder than they’ve used before. Within second I ripped open her throat and she went up in dust. Her body went up in millions of tiny fibers, going up into air.

Before I knew it, I felt myself being suffocated by something I could not see. I was hurled up into the air and being held upside down.

There was this bitch, who had Gerard under her spell, in front of me. She was grinning at me. Not a normal grin, no, an evil grin that even sent shivers down my spine. Again, I growled at her, but she only seemed to laugh.

She didn’t say a word, she only glared at me.

She broke her glare and got something from behind her back. A wooden stake.

Fuck.

I refused to let her get me so easy. I screamed but there was no sound and it only cost energy that I needed so much right now. I tried to squirm from her invisible tentacles that were surrounding me, but I just couldn’t get away.

I started to accept slowly that this could mean my death. Somehow, I never imagined my death to be like this. Don’t get me wrong, I knew I had to die somehow, but I’d imagined it more to be happening in an epic fight instead of being held upside down by a witch.

She was slowly coming closer and I shut my eyes. I wasn’t afraid to die, the only thing I was truly afraid of, is what was going to happen to Gerard after I am gone. Only thinking about it made my eyes water.

I felt my tears dropping from my eyes and while I was trying to convince myself that everything would be okay somehow, I felt an aching pain, right through my chest.

My eyes shot open and I looked at where my heart was supposed to be.

There it was. The wooden stake was sticking out and I couldn’t breathe anymore. At one point I was dry heaving and the witch let me drop on the ground. From what I could feel at this moment, the stake was coming out of my back. I could feel the blood slowly starting to pour out of the wound it had caused. I still tried to support myself on one elbow while my other hand tried to stop the bleeding or at least try to pull the stake out, but it wouldn’t help. I glared at the witch but soon my vision was getting one big blur. My body was drained of blood and soon I was laying in a puddle of my own. With the stake being pierced through my windpipe, I was getting more suffocated by the seconds passing.

The witch could only laugh hysterically and then she just disappeared. When she left, the sphere around Gerard disappeared and it instantly woke him up. Gerard was breathing heavily and his movements were spastic. Suddenly, he turned his head into my direction and I heard him scream.

I tried to let myself fall on the ground as gently as possible, but the severe stinging wasn’t going away. Still I tried to reach into Gerard’s direction, because somehow, I still had a little spark of hope that I was going to make this. It was no use; my vision went black and my body was going numb. At one moment, there was just only the smell of blood and I knew that this was the ending of my story. I lost too much to be even resurrected.

I could hear Gerard running into my direction. I could hear him beg for me to wake up while I felt him picking me up to just lay in his arms.

His sobbing was the only thing I was aware of when my soul left my body. Soon, I knew I had to let go, even if I wanted or not. I had to.

This is how my life was supposed to end.

Notes