I never told you what I do for a living.

“Trust me, I am sure.” Gerard said to me as he placed his lips on mine. I felt a whirlwind raging through my body. I felt lightning strike me and I drowned from the feeling of his lips on mine.

I knew it as soon as I opened my eyes. I didn’t feel like a living dead anymore, the waves of pure contentness washed over me. At first I couldn’t believe what was happening to me, but all the signs were there. Everything was made clear.

Still high on the feeling, I couldn’t control the filter that filtered my thoughts and feelings and as a result I was talking gibberish. Words that came out of my mind didn’t sound like words.

“This can’t be true.” I heard myself muttering. I looked frantically around because my vision was blurry and I didn’t understand what was happening to me at first. I thought I had experienced this before, but this was so much more. The effect that it had on my body was almost unexplainable.

“This... how?” I continued to ask myself. I had noticed Gerard had taken a step into my direction, but his sudden movement scared me.

Gerard suddenly yelled my name. His words shot through me like he was talking through a megaphone.

“Can you please tell me what the hell is happening to you?!”

I was so confused that I couldn’t really explain to him properly what was happening, but I knew damn well what was going on.

“I... I think imprinted… you...”

At first, I thought it couldn’t be true. I fucking imprinted on Gerard. What this basically means is, that you have found your soulmate. At least, that’s how humans called it. We, as vampires, call it imprinting, because everyone needs a mate in his life. Ten thousands of years ago, a great vampire-deity made a promise to us. And that promise was that none of us deserves to be alone and that we will find our true mate.

“What are you talking about?” Gerard asked firmly. The frustrated look on Gerard’s face was understandable, but I just couldn’t explain it to him at this moment.

I looked at Gerard and all the pieces of the puzzle started to fall together into a whole. The incomprehensible attraction I had to him, my pure and animalistic desire to drink his blood and not to forget my worriedness when he was gone. If it was any other vampire I would’ve said that he could go and fuck himself, but this time it was different. I kept thinking about him and my heart was aching because I missed him so much.

I walked back to the couch and let myself fall on it. Still processing everything that happened to me in the last few minutes, I stared out of the window. Somehow, the sounds of birds and cars driving by, relaxed me. It was as if I concentrated myself hard enough on the outside world, nothing could hurt or touch me anymore. “What are you talking about?” I heard Gerard say again. “I think I imprinted on you.” I answered him. “What?” I looked him straight in the eye. “I think I imprinted on you.” I could see in his gaze that he had a bit of a trouble to process what I just told him. When I looked at him, I wanted him. This time thousand times stronger than I did before. To me, he was perfect. His pointy nose, his raven black hair that was falling in front of his eyes and his ragged, black leather jacket. He looked like the perfect, dark personification of a crow. “Imprinted!? What do you mean?” Gerard asked again.“Gerard, don’t you understand? I just cannot stay away from you.” I told him calmly. And it was true. I had a very hard time staying away from him. My heart shattered the evening I found him half-conscious in the woods. I carried him home that night. I got some strange looks but I didn’t care. My only purpose was to get him home safely. The only one that bothered me was a witch who came up to ask me where a vampire was going to with an unconscious vampire. I didn’t trust her so I told her to fuck off.

Gerard remained silent and only stared at me. In his eyes I could see that he truly understood, but that he didn’t wanted to. I wish I could explain in to him in just one single sentence but I simply can’t.

“You imprinted on me? But how can it be that I don’t feel anything?” he asked.

That hurt. I knew it was possible to happen but I didn’t expect it to happen to me.

“Oh.” Was everything I could bring out. The words came out almost as a sigh, and to be honest, I had no clue what else I could tell him.

I could see the thoughts race in his mind. They weren’t just racing, they were making a bet out of it. He brought his hands up to his head, gripping his hair tight, turning his head and gaze away from me.

“What the fuck, Frank!?” he yelled. His hands loosened and he looked at me again. There was Gerard how I first met him; all ragged up with eyes dark like a moonless Sabbath. His gaze was piercing, and as well as I knew this could go either the good way or the absolute wrong way. I tried to explain to him what I felt for him. This could mean the difference between losing him forever and having him by my side.

“G-Gerard, I-I’m so sorry. I never expected this to happen.” I stumbled. I couldn’t look him in the eye so I just looked at the ground. His gaze intimidated me.

“No.” I heard him say. His voice had a sort of velvety softness in it so I looked up, not being scared of him to do something to me.

“I am sorry. I am sorry that I caused this to happen to you.”

“Wait, what?” I couldn’t believe him. I broke some big and life-changing news to him, and now he is apologizing to me? Just, what?

“Look,” he continued. “I have feelings for you too, but I don’t know if I could give you what you need. I know what imprinting is, okay? I just couldn’t comprehend the fact that someone could imprint on me.”

Gerard looked away from me and his jaw tightened. His eyes became almost… sad. I didn’t understand what he meant with what he said about the fact that he couldn’t give me what I needed. He gives me everything I need with just being next to me.

I decided to do something very tricky. This could go horribly well of horribly good.

I slowly walked up to Gerard. Gerard was still looking away from me, having a hard time to confront himself with what just happened.

As soon as I was in front of him, I tried to talk to him.

“Gerard, look at me.” I whispered.

No reaction.

“Gerard, please, just... just look at me.” I pleaded.

I brought my hands up to his cheeks and slowly turned his face towards my direction.

His touch under my hands felt like velvet and his gaze could pierce you by just looking at you. To me, he was the most beautiful creature to be alive.

I looked in his eyes and I could see that he returned to his normal state. His eyes returned to their normal hazel colour and the look in his eyes was lost and empty. It hurt me to see him like this. I never wanted to hurt him in any way possible.

Still, I got lost in his empty gaze and my autopilot took over. I brought his face to mine and softly kissed his lips. The feeling of his lips against mine has never felt so good. For a second, I thought Gerard was kissing me back, but instead of doing that, he was pushing me off.

“Frankie, please...” he whispered. His voice was broken and he couldn’t even look at me. His head was hanging low and I thought I could see a glimpse of a tear. Suddenly he stormed past me and went straight to the door. Right before he opened the door, he turned to me and said: “I love you Frankie, but I can’t give you what you need. I know I can give you what you want, but it won’t be enough. I’m so sorry.”

“Gerard, no. Please don’t leave.” I stood still, with my feet glued to the ground. I felt broken inside and I couldn’t move.

“Please Gerard, don’t go.”

He didn’t answer, he could only look at me.

The door closed and he left me with a churned stomach and a shattered heart.

Notes