It's Not a Fashion Statement

Gerard made his way to the hospital, knowing for good this would be that very last time he’d say goodbye to Frankie. He didn’t want to live anymore, he knew, there was no way Frankie was ever going to wake up, and living without him and his brother, then having to deal with the guilt and the constant sinking feeling, why would he want to live? Yesterday was different, he couldn't do it then. But he knew today was the day and he was going to do it.

Gerard passed the corridors, not caring to look up. He didn’t want to see the patients that were being wheeled around and he didn’t want to see all the big tools and operating rooms as he passed. Gerard fucking hated hospitals, the needles made him cringe and shiver, but it was for Frankie. He would do anything for him, anything.

Gerard already felt the tears well up, as he came closer, step-by-step to his room. The last fucking time, the last time he’ll ever see him.

His hands shook, buried deep into his baggy hoodie pockets. He wanted to die; he just hated the fact even though he’s dead- Frankie- he really wouldn’t see him again, no matter what.

His head down, refusing to be met with his broken body until he really had to, Gerard entered the room.
It felt different, though. It felt dirty before; it felt unclean and just empty. But it was so much lighter and the room just smelt fresher- so Gerard forced his head up only to realise he was in the wrong room, the stranger sat up on the bed looking glumly outside the window.

“Oh shit- fuck I am so sorry- wrong room i-“
But they turned around and Gerard almost had a heart attack right on the spot, because he was not expecting this, he didn’t know what to do, he didn’t understand- he must be dreaming, or something like that, because this wasn’t even possible.

And they both stared at each other for a while, a short while, only a few seconds really, but it was enough for Gerard to feel like it was years passing between the two of them.

The tears that were welled in his eyes started falling, whilst his heart picked up with every sharp breath he inhaled- no, he wasn’t even breathing his heart was going that fast, his hands shaking in his pockets uncontrollably, his head spinning, but a smile breaking into his face, the first fucking smile in absolutely forever.
There was no words, absolutely none, and Gerard could only launch himself into Frankie, and he could only hold his fucking alive boyfriend in his arms, honestly like the whole entire world depended on it. His hands gripped around his waist, holding his moving body as close to his own as possible, as Frankie hugged him back; and to Gerard, it was the most amazing feeling, because he was warm, and fucking breathing, and he could feel his movement against his own body, and he could hear his heartbeat, he could feel him holding him back.

Gerard tucked his head over Frankie’s shoulder, whilst his arms wrapped around his best friend’s and boyfriend's body even tighter, he breathed in and just savoured that fucking moment because he honestly believed there was never going to be a moment better than this, because this couldn’t have been anything short of a fucking miracle –fuck he’s alive, Gerard thought.

And frank could only weakly hug him back, because his arms hurt and his chest was heavy, his head was dizzy and his eyes stung so much from all the crying he did- the hospital rang Gerard yesterday, to tell him, to let him know Frankie was actually fucking alive, but Gerard never heard the phone go off and frank was left in the cold bed alone, wondering where the hell the only person who’d ever really cared about him was.

And between the sobs and muffled sniffs, Gerard could only just force out a strung out ‘I love you’, whilst his hand clung to Frankie’s back and traveled up to run through his hair, whilst his god damn happy tears soaked through Frankie’s hospital gown.

Notes

DESTROYAS ON LI VE AND MY CAT ATE THE REST OF MY SANDWICH

FUCK OKAY YOU'RE WELCOME AND ALSO THA N K YOU FOR LIKE 60,000 VIEWS HOLUY AND I SWEAR THERE WAS SOMETHING ELSE I NEEDED TO SAY I HAVE A TERRIBLE MEMORY IDK
THIS IS PROBABLY THE MOST BULLSHIT STORY EVER BUT WTF DID YOU EXPECT WHEN GERARDS A SIK AS FRICK FASHION DESIGNER/MURDERER/ASSASSINSORTA WITH A BADASS FUCKING HOMELESS BOYFRIEDN WHOS SUDDENLY ALIVE
I HATE SAD ENDINGS TOO ILY GUYS REALLY I PROMISE IM NICE