It's Not a Fashion Statement

(le rad gerads pov)
The next week flies by with Frankie. We have done so much together, gone to the cinema, various dates over dinner, organised the event, we met up with mikey and Kristin again too. It was nice, not having to stress about work, getting to spend time with him. I used to think about alcohol nearly everyday of my life, and now, with Frankie, I don’t even need to consider it. And, Andy has organised loads of activities and stuff for Halloween and he hired a band. It’s coming along nicely.

Yesterday, the weather was amazing. I didn’t have anything too important to do at work, so I just stayed at home with Frankie. We stayed outside in my garden for the whole day, sunbathing and in the pool.
I found loads of ice cream in my freezer, so we just ate ice cream and drank soda for every meal, and it was honestly the most fun I’ve had in ages. Plus, Frankie was basically half naked all day, and being able to look at his amazing shirtless body for hours on end is always nice.


Every day I swear I’m falling more and more for frank. I think it isn’t possible, but then the next day I do. I’m in love with him, I know it’s love. I don’t know what else it can be.

As much as I’d love to spend today with frank, I need frank to be busy today, and away from me, as I’m preparing a few things for his birthday.
He hops down the stairs and greets me in the kitchen, wiping the sleep from his eyes, stretching and yawning.
“Mornin’ sugar,”
“Hey gee,”
I envelope my arms around him from behind and give him a peck on the lips.
“what are you up to today?” he asks, scratching his head.
I keep my arms wrapped around him from behind and kiss the top of his head.
I can’t help but show affection, it just happens.
“Well, Andy needs help today, but I have a really important meeting. I’d bring you with me, but like I said, Andy needs help,” I hate lying to Frankie, but it will be a plus for him, so technically speaking, I’m not lying.
“hm okay. When are you going? When will you be back? will you join us after? What are-“
“I don’t know to be honest. I’m going in about twenty minutes, I call you when I’m done though,”
He looks disappointed, and I feel bad because I really want to spend another day with him. But I can’t today.
I’ve told Andy to get frank to help him pick up all the deliveries. That way, there’s no chance of them bumping into me whilst I’m out.

The twenty minutes I had left this morning with frank fly by like two minutes. I grab my coat and kiss Frankie goodbye, then close the door and climb into my car and drive into town.
I park my car in one of the underground car parks and make my way into New York center. I kept asking frank what he wants for his birthday, but all he replied with is ‘I don’t want anything,’ but I say bull shit and I’m buying him a present. I open the door of the music shop, and almost immediately a girl with bright orange hair greets me.
“What can I do for you sir?”
There’s something about her face and her accent that reminds me of something, or someone but I can’t quite put my finger on it.
Oh well, probably just me.

I search around the shop with my eyes, when I remember the guitar being in the window. I head over to the window and point at the white-bodied guitar with gold pick-ups. This is defiantly the one he wanted.
“I would like to purchase this guitar, please,”
“Really? It’s pretty dear. Don’t you want to test it out?”
I shake my head; I know for certain this is the guitar. Plus, Frankie isn’t even here to try it out.
“It’s not for me,” I explain and continue,
“It’s my… friends birthday and I know this is the guitar he has always wanted.”
“It’s a lot of money for a birthday present. You do realise the cost is $1950?”
No, I didn’t actually realise it’s that much. But I don’t care; I know how much Frankie wants it.
“I’ll buy it,”
“wow, your friend sure is lucky to have a friend like you,”
She smirks and raises one eyebrow and it’s like there’s something screaming at me and clawing at the back of my mind reminding me that I know her, somehow.
She picks the guitar up and takes it behind the till, then bringing it back in a hard case. She headbops and sings a sweet melody under her breath whilst wondering around the shop and I recognise the voice so well and I think I’m going to explode if I don’t remember, I know her, I do, I know I do. I just can’t quite figure it out.

She taps stuff in on the computer, occasionally looking up at me, a puzzled look playing on her face.
“I swear I… oh my god! Gerard!”
I knew I recognised her… I glance at her name tag (why didn’t I do that earlier?) and it clicks in my head.
“Oh my god, Hayley I haven’t seen you for ages!”

She runs up and gives me a massive hug. She looks so different, but I still can’t believe it’s taken me this long to recognise her.
We used to go to art school together, we were really good friends. I haven’t seen her in about four years though.
I mentally curse myself for taking so long to realise it was Hayley.
Gerard, you idiot!

We start talking, catching up with each other. We could talk all day, but my phone buzzes with a reminder. Probably a good thing it did, because otherwise I would be here until it shuts. And, I have a lot to do today.
I glance at my phone and it says, ‘cake’, which reminds me I have to go pick up franks birthday cake I ordered for him in secret over the phone the other day.
I explain to Hayley I have a lot to do, and give her my number and tell her we can meet up again soon.
-

I load the directions on my phone to get the bakery, whilst carrying the heavy guitar in the huge case. Shoutout to guitarists who have to carry their guitars around all the time; I did not expect it to be this heavy.
I finally get to my destination and I push open the bakery door. The shop is packed, all the little tables are filled, and there is a line to the till nearly going out of the door.
“Gerard way?” I hear a shout from the corner. I make my way over and thank the woman, handing over the cash and taking the cake box off her. Well this is going to be a walk of hell back to my car, having to carry a guitar and a huge cake. Clearly, I didn’t think this through.
I nearly stumble over, just trying to get out of the shop.
I can’t hold my phone for directions back to the car park, so I’ll just have to try remembering and retracing my steps. I mean, I should know around New York off my heart by now, but I don’t, because I have the worst sense of direction ever.
I get back to the music shop and then I honestly have no idea how to get to my car from here. It’s still like a ten-minute walk from here.
I decide to go back into the music shop and see if Hayley is still there, and thank god, she is.
“what’s up- woaaah, you have your hands full,”
I try to no, but because the cake box is leaning against my chest for support it’s kind of impossible ad I just end up nearly dropping the cake.
“Erm… do you think you’d be able to help me carry these back to my car?”
“Sure, let me take this-“
Thank god. I feel so relieved when she takes the surprisingly also heavy cake box off me. And now I can finally see what’s in front of me.
“Thanks, this way,” I pull my phone out and type where the car park is and I follow the directions with Hayley following close behind me.
We arrive at my car and I unlock it and slide the guitar case into the back seat, then take the cake box off Hayley.
“Thank you so much, oh my god,”
“It was no problem, anyway, nice catching up with you,”
“hey, wanna come over to mine for a bit?”
She thinks about it for a minute then tells me okay, she’ll text her friend jimmy that works at the shop to tell him to go up front.
I allow her to sit in the passenger seat whilst I climb into the front.
-
Hayley and I have been talking for a while now, just sat on the sofa, eating some popcorn and watching movies. It’s so good to see her again.
I remember I have a photo upstairs of when we were about sixteen and we first moved into New York and the college.
I run upstairs, grab it, and bring it back down to Hayley. I let her have a glance then put it back down behind me, but she wants to have another look, so she leans over to pick it up.
She’s in the middle of reaching over when she falls and ends up lying on my chest, as we both start laughing.
Just at that moment, I hear the door unlock and I see Andy walk in with a big cardboard box whilst Frankie follows closely behind, with a bandage on his wrist (?) laughing about something, when suddenly he looks at me and his smile instantly vanishes.

His eyes widen and he slaps a hand right over his mouth. His blown pupils well up, and a small tear trickles down his face. I’m just about to ask him what’s wrong, when he suddenly turns around and runs straight out of the door. I jump up to follow him, when I remember Hayley is still lying on my chest, laughing, obviously oblivious to what just happened.
Oh.
It feels like my heart just stopped. I can’t breath or think. Fuck no.
I carefully nudge her off me and tell her one-minute, then shoot out of the door as fast as I can to follow Frankie.
I look around the drive, but he isn’t here.
I start to run down the road, and notice a small figure curled up at the side of the road.
I still can feel any air enter my lungs. I can’t feel my heart move. It feels like everything has frozen.
“Frankie!”
I call out, unable to wait until I get to him to explain myself.
“it wasn’t what it looked like, I promise!”
“Sure” he sniffs, not daring to look up at me.
I crouch down next to him and wrap my arms around him, but he shoves me off and starts to move again.
“You have a girlfriend! I knew you weren’t actually busy today! Why would you cheat on me? I thought-“
He starts shouting, the tears streaming down his distraught face.
Fuck, no I didn’t mean it!
“Frankie, I promise I can explain, she’s just a friend from college who I bumped into!”
“oh really! Why was she lying on top of you laughing then? Hu? Explain that!”
I feel like there is literally a tear in my heart (tøp if u get it *wink wonk *).
“She was leaning over to grab a photo and fell, Frankie please-“
At this point I could feel myself tearing up, and that doesn’t happen very often at all.
He stops, but doesn’t look at me.
“Please, trust me. I bumped into her and we started talking and I invited her back to catch up more, I found a photo of us from art school, we were really good friends, then she fell and it looked like… that! I would never cheat on you-“
“Fine, but…”
“Frankie, she’s engaged! And even so, you know I wouldn’t even date a girl, or anything like that,”

Just when I think he isn’t going to believe me, he turns around, jumping up and hugging me, wrapping his legs around my waist and sobbing into my shoulder.

“I thought you didn’t want me anymore… I thought you were kicking me out, and I’d never see you again-“
I tighten my hug and hold him as close to me as I possibly can. I can’t believe I could lose him that easily.

“Frankie I’d never… fuck, I love you Frankie. I would never just leave you like that, or kick you out, or cheat, or anything, you mean the world to me, I couldn’t even imagine my life without you, and I’m so sorry-“

He cuts me off by smashing his soft lips to mine and I feel like I can finally breath again, like my body has suddenly started working again. He graces the sides of my face with both his hands and deepens the kiss, making it so passionate and loving it sends my heart racing and makes my head feel dizzy. The warmth of his body and his light figure wrapped around mine, his hands holding my face and his tongue searching around my mouth, slowly but steady, makes me feel so full of emotion.
He pulls away and looks deep into my lust-blown eyes.
“Do you mean that? D-do you …love me?”
I feel the water that rims my eyes slowly fall down my cheeks, wetting them, my stomach flipping and my heart beating so fast I’m scared it’ll burst out of my chest.
“Yes, I love you frank, I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone, everything about you-“
“That’s cool,“ he sniffs, smiling his adorable little smile,
“Because I really.. I – I was- I wasthinkingthesame,”

Nothing matters right now, apart from the amazing person wrapped around my waist and hugged tight around me.

From the corner of my eye I can see Hayley and Andy standing outside the drive just watching us, which kind of makes me laugh.
-
I’m just staring into his beautiful eyes, wrapped in the bed sheets and holding him close to me, when I remember something.
“Can I ask, why do you have a bandage around your wrist?”
He looks confused at first, but then giggles when he realises what I’m talking about.
“oh, ha, erm yeah… I dropped a box on it and it felt fine but then it started hurting a bit so Andy made me go to the hospital and it turns out I’ve sprained it pretty badly, it doesn’t really hurt though, it’s just a bit sore,”
I take his hand and unwind the bandage wrapped around it. It looks more than a bit sore.
His wrist is all swollen, a display of purple, blue, red and grey on it.
“It looks painful,”
“It’s not,”
I wrap the bandage back up around his delicate wrist and kiss his forehead.
“Night Frankie,”

Notes