It's Not a Fashion Statement

gerard pov
Once again, my alarm sounds through the room and startles me. I turn over and Frankie is laying on his back, staring at the ceiling with wide, open, bloodshot eyes.
I brush my palm over his chest, but he doesn’t even flinch.
“Frankie?”
It’s like he’s in a trance, I’s so weird. He’s still breathing as normal but he isn’t moving and his eyes are still peeled wide open staring at the blank ceiling.
“Frank…”
He still hasn’t moved or even blinked for the past few minutes and it’s actually really scaring me.
I tug on his shoulder again, when suddenly he sits up and urgently scans around the room with scared eyes, throwing his hand over his mouth and his breathing picking up.
Before I can do anything, he slides off the bed and backs against the wall, his breathing shaky and uneven, and his eyes still urgently racing around the room.

He stares at me for a good few seconds, like he doesn’t even recognise me. It’s the weirdest thing ever, and it’s really starting to make me panic. What the fuck is going on? Did I do something?
After about a minute of Frankie staring at me blankly, it’s like something suddenly ticks in his brain and he registers it’s, well me.
His body suddenly relaxes and I can tell by the look on his face he’s about to burst into tears.
I run up and hug him, and let his tears spill onto my shoulder, whilst I stroke down his back in comfort.
I have no idea what so ever about what’s wrong, I just know he looked frightened.
“What on earth happened? I woke up and you were staring blankly at the ceiling for a good five minutes, not even blinking, and then suddenly you jumped up like you had seen a ghost. Are you okay?”
He sniffs a few times and wipes his eyes with his jumper sleeve, hugging himself closer into me.
“I don’t know, I used to get them, sometimes. It’s like having a nightmare, but you’re awake, but then you have no idea what’s going on, yet you still know you’re awake, but you can’t process anything. It’s horrible, I hate it so much- I- I haven’t had one for about a year, but one time it scared me so much I fainted and ended up in hospital and no one knew why or what it was and it’s so scary and i-“
I shush him and run a hand through his soft, chocolate brown hair, taking in a deep breath and inhaling the fruity fragrance.
After a little while longer of hugging, we agree on going downstairs and getting breakfast. I flick on the kettle, and then pull out two mugs. Frankie is sat on the stool opposite with his head in his hands and a distressed look on his face. I lean over the counter and pull his hand into mine and rub his knuckles softly, and ask him how he is.
He tells me he has a really bad headache and he feels really dizzy so I go to get him some tablets and the mug of coffee.

I return with the steaming mug and tablets when suddenly a reminder pops up causing my phone to buzz in my pocket.

I place them down in front of Frankie and he gladly takes a sip of the coffee, as I pull out my phone. Shit! I have a meeting with all my staff today. Of course it had to be today. This big meeting happens once every two months and it just so happens to be the day Frankie is feeling like shit.
I want to stay so bad, but I need to go so bad.
I know what I need to do, as much as I’d rather not.
“Frankie, I’m so sorry babe, but I have an extremely important meeting with all my staff today. I really want to stay and I’m so sorry but you understand I can’t right and-“
“Just go you idiot. I’m fine,” he gives me a smile despite his current state, and urges me to get dressed and go to work.
I dress into some checked suede trousers and a blue long sleeved shirt with a navy blazer and black boots. You wouldn’t have though it’d match with my vibrant red hair but it surprisingly compliments it. I return downstairs carrying a case with hundreds of important files and documents. It’s going to be a long day.
“Are you sure you’re gonna be okay Frankie?”
“Gerard. It’s only a headache. Of course, I’ll be more than okay. I was homeless for months; I can deal with a headache and a little dizziness, stop worrying… even though it’s sort of sweet how bothered you are about me,”
I feel a blush brush over my cheeks and I kiss Frankie on the cheek and hold him close.
“It’s only because I care about you, yknow,”
“you too. Now have a good day, don’t worry about me, all right?... By the way…I-I think you look superniceinthat…”
The last few words he mumbled, but I could tell what he said. He’s so cute I wish I could just stay here all day and cuddle him. But we both know that isn’t an option, so I let go while I can and head to the door.
I step through the doorframe and out into the humid October air and blow a kiss to Frankie.
“Cya later, I’ll be back as soon as possible,”
And with that, I shut the door softly and climb into the parked taxi outside my drive.

During the drive there, I decide to get out my laptop and check my emails whilst I have some spare time. One in particular caught my eye.

To: Gerard way
Subject: line release
From: Parlar joseph.

I nearly shit myself when I read whom it is from. Parlar joseph is a French fashion designer, who has always been a huge inspiration to me, always was, always will be. When I was younger, I remember first watching one of his fashion shows on the old telly, when his business first started to become big. He was about my age at the time, a few years older maybe. I remember sitting in front of the television at the age of nine, listening to the interview and taking in every word he said. The moment I saw that show I knew what I truly wanted to do with my career and I was positive I would work for it until I got there. I bought his books; I watched every interview I could find. I still love all his work and shoots, and oh my god. I can’t even contain my excitement.
I started to read the email, a grin on my face, when I squeaked (actually more like screamed). Joe, my driver, tilted the mirror in front to look at me properly. He probably thought something bad had happened.
“You okay gee?”
I nodded furiously in excitement, trying not to burst out in joy.
“Wow, you look happy, what is it?”
“Parlar fucking joseph just emailed me,”
“WHAT?!” I swear he nearly just crashed the car, but I’m currently to hyper to give any thought to that.
“What did he say, WHAT DID HE SAY?”
Joe was smiling like a madman; in fact, I think he was fangirling even more than me.

“Wait let me read it… it says…
Mr. way,
I attended the New York new fashion show as a guest last night, and I couldn’t help but take a liking to your newest line and in fact, the model himself. You two do make an excellent pair; I have a feeling this line is going to blow everyone away. The intricate design and the way you paired the model with the suit honestly stood out above all the others last night. I’m inviting you both to my line release date on the 9h of November, as a VIP guest.
And then there’s some more information… oh my god I’m going to parlar josephs V I fucking P’s line release oH MY GOD!”
“Dude, I’m so happy for you, I know how much you worship that guy,”
“And that means Frankie and I are going to Paris!”
“How are you two by the way?”
This is the most I’ve spoken to Joe in a long time. I mean, for the last few weeks I’ve been speaking to everyone a lot more, but before that I only had proper conversations when I first started the business
“In what way?”
He probably knows about us being… well a bit more than friends because he must’ve seen us kissing, on several occasions. And even if he hadn’t seen us, he must’ve at least heard some of the precious moans that escape Frankie lips. Man, how I would love to kiss Frankie right now…
Back on subject Gerard!
“Well you’re dating right? I’ve seen you kiss before, not on purpose, just I have to look in the mirror to see the traffic behind and often enough you’re attacking each other’s faces. You don’t exactly seem like a pair of just fuck buddies. And even if you were, you’d probably do it in the car anyway, so I’d know about that. So I figured you’re dating,”

“yeah, well it’s really good. I really like him yknow. I feel like my life has brightened so much since he’s been around and I know it wasn’t just a need of a relationship, because I tried many, but now, I’m happier than I’ve ever been and…I think I love him,”
Joe’s face softens, to the point he is basically cooing. I said I love him. And I’m pretty sure it’s true.
“You love him? I’ve never heard you say that about anyone,”

“I do. Everything about him, he’s so kind and caring and forgiving, he’s so funny and accepting, he’s so selfless, he always seems to put others before him, not to mention he’s so beautiful, his eyes and his smile and his soft skin and his amazing figure and his soft hair that always smells fruity and the way you can still hear a bit of his jersey accent even though he only lived there until he was five and his warmth and-“ I don’t even realise I have gone off into a compete rant until the car stops to a halt and I have to scramble to put my laptop in my bag and get out of the car, before we cause any major traffic.
Before I can even say thank you and good-bye to Joe, I start to hear beeping from the cars behind and result in having to rush out of the car.

I pull my sunglasses down and pull a hand through my vibrant red hair, even though it doesn’t quite feel like it normally does, as it’s a bit shorter and not quite as red because I had it done yesterday. It’s a lot softer now too. I like it, but I feel I’m getting a bit tired of the red.

I step through the building and push my glasses back up, waving at jess my receptionist as I move through the hall.
“Don’t forget, 10.30-“ I shout from the elevator corridor back at jess. I mean, of course she would remember, she is literally the most organised person working here.
I select the 17th floor in the lift and wait in the corner with my briefcase in my hands. There’s so much excitement at the moment, so much to cover during this meeting.
I enter the meeting room and prepare my papers at the centre seat, (my usual spot, of course,) and set up my laptop. I finish downloading the last few documents left and decide to get a Starbucks, as I still have around 30 minutes left. I would’ve asked someone else, but I’m in a positive mood and it’s kind of boring just bossing people about. And what else do I have to do?
I tell jess I’m getting a coffee and ask her is she wants one, she declines it but I decide I’m getting her one anyway. In fact, fuck that, I’m getting all my staff a coffee.

It’s only across the road so they’ll be easy enough to carry back. Plus, like every nine you buy, you receive one free, so I’d only need to buy thirty coffees (I have over sixty staff but I know some of them don’t like coffee, so I’d only need around half of that) and I get a discount which means they’re half price, so that would come to around 45$, and then I’d get 3 free, so that’s basically just over a dollar per coffee, and that’s less than the refills for the coffee machine at work, and this is better coffee, so technically I’m saving myself and my workers money, and it’ll be more enjoyable. I think? That was too much math.
I take my order and the Starbucks workers all seem to be extremely surprised someone would order 40 coffees. It’s not exactly normal I suppose. They managed to find some boxes for me to carry them in, and we fit all the coffees into three boxes. I was happy to just return and pick them up, but two of the workers told me they’d help take them to my building. In all honesty, I’m not surprised; they probably would like the little tour of my building.
That was a bit of an arrogant thing to think.
I thank them and lead them across the road and hold the glass doors open for them. I lead them through reception and I’ve never seen jess that confused in my whole life. Her face is actually priceless, a perfect mixture of, ‘what the actual fuck’ and ‘why the actual fuck’.
I selected the 17th floor, once again this morning, and made casual conversation with the coffee workers. They had nametags on, Adam and Hallie, so I decided to call them by their actual names, as it seemed more polite.
“So you bought all these coffee’s for each of your workers? That’s so generous,”
I nod and smile, feeling happy that I’ve done such deed.
“You seem like a nice boss, I wish our boss was so kind,”
hallie joined in. It feels nice to have people recognise you as kind.
That’s when an idea ticks in my head.
“I don’t know whether you’d be interested, but I’m holding a charity event on Halloween. If you’re free maybe you can come along help, the two of you, and maybe a few of your friends. I’ll pay you out of my personal pocket. The money we raise is going to a homeless kids charity, so it’d mean a lot if you would come along and help,”
They both nod enthusiastically and thank me, telling me it’s a really nice thing to do. Once the doors have opened we walk into the conference room and I tell them they can place the boxes of coffee on the table whilst I jot down my contact details for the event. Things are coming along nicely.

I thank them once again for their kindness in carrying the coffees and I see them off to the elevator. I glance at the clock and I realise it’s only five minutes until I have the meeting.
I sit down in my comfy leather armchair, and finish sorting my papers into piles. Of course, right on time, every member of staff files into the room and sits in their usual seats.
“Sir, may I question, why are there boxes on the table?”
“oh, grab a coffee. I had a bit of spare time so I decide to buy some coffee for everyone, and call me Gerard silly, since when did you guys call me sir?”
around the table there were faces of shock, happiness, and astonishment in some cases.
“You always made us call you sir? Like you got really mad… remember when you fired gabby because she forgot to call you sir more tan twice on her first day?” my face dropped. I really did that? What a cow.

“I did that?”
There’s a chime of yes’s from around every corner of the table.

“well anyway…”
I go on to talk about the basics, like the pay, sales, tax, bills, profits, pricing, retailers, dates and so on. I then announce the event and go through what everyone has to do in order for it to go along smoothly. I request Andy to take charge of organising most of it, and of course he agrees. I set up majority of my staff on for buying decorations and running stalls and stuff there.
I then touch upon Frankie and I having to leave for Paris after it. It hasn’t been confirmed yet, but parlar had sent plane tickets and a hotel details which was already paid, plus he had told me the date, and I don’t see any reason why I wouldn’t go, I mean, it’s parlar fucking joseph, I wouldn’t
miss this for the world.
Well maybe for Frankie, but that’s literally the only exception.

“Hey where is Frankie anyway?” I hear one of my staff pipe up.
“He wasn’t doing so well this morning, why?”
“Nothing… you’re dating right?”

So much for keeping this low profile, did we really make it that obvious?
So many people must know now, Mikey, Kristin, Joe, Andy, and now all my fucking staff.
“Erm no, we will though…” I lie, hoping they believe me.

“Why what are you waiting for?”
“He turns seventeen on Halloween, we decided we’re not gonna date until then…”
“Oh, that makes sense,” they all agree with each other. That was close. I would trust my staff… just I don’t actually because I never took the time to get to know any of them. I’ll change that soon.
-
I finish the meeting and then tell them they can have the rest of the day off because there really isn’t much else that anyone needs to do today. They thank me and collect their things. I pack up all my stuff and lock up, and then I notice the pizza shop across the road. I’m sure they’ll do takeaways.
I walk in and request a take away of a margarita pizza and wait in the comfy chairs for the fresh pizza. I prefer getting pizza from Italian restaurants because the quality is so good.
-
I get out of the cab with the pizza and large cup of hot chocolate and marshmallows. I turn the key in the lock and walk into the house to find Frankie sat on the sofa drowning in covers and moving his fingers so fast over the Xbox controller I’m actually sort of amazed. He’s playing gta and just seems to be able to kill everyone and everything with out even paying much attention to the screen.
“Hey sweetie,”
“Gee!”
He drops the controller and snaps his head around to smile at me. I hand him the large hot chocolate and the box of pizza.
“What’s this for?”
“You, silly. I decided to get you hot chocolate and pizza because you deserve it,”
“Thank you, I’m starving,”
“Ill be back in a minute-“
I jog up the stairs and quickly change into sweatpants and I don’t even bother with a shirt. This house is pretty warm anyway.
I hop down the stairs and join Frankie on the sofa, wrapping an arm around him and taking a slice of pizza.
“I have some news,” I’m practically beaming with sunrays I’m that happy. I’ve been desperate to tell him since I found out. Not only are we going to my biggest inspirations line release but we’re also spending some time together in Paris. Which is super cool. Plus, he’ll be seventeen, which means we can show as many people as we want we’re together.

“Today… I received an email from Parlar Joseph. He’s my biggest fashion inspiration; I’ve looked up to him since I was nine years old. He loved you and the outfit, and has invited us both into Paris to his VIP guest list at the beginning of November. That also means we’ll get to spend some time in Paris together,”
I think I nearly made him choke at least twice during that.
“Gerard that’s fucking amazing! Congrats!”
I know, I mean it’s fucking amazing.

After a while longer of talking I put on a movie and we finish the pizza. I pull Frankie into my lap and I instantly feel my heart race again.
He pulls his hand down my bare chest and bites his lip. He’s so beautiful it hurts. Like actually hurts, both mentally and physically.
The only way I can even remotely describe this is love. I’ve never exactly known what it feels like, but I’ve always imagined it being something like this.
I don’t know.
I wrap both arms around him and tug him closer into my chest, savouring the moment.

Notes