The Monster that lives on my back

My hands were worn and rough, the skin was not dry per say but tired and beaten down. Chipped black nail polish was carelessly splashed across my nails in a desperate attempt to conform to normality. My hands shook and trembled from the effort of keeping them still and the nerves raced through my bloodstream causing my entire body to quiver. My skin was tanned but the veins ran up my arms and coiled around my limbs, like ivy strangling a tree, except I could not live without the veins and the ivy was slowly killing the tree. Or maybe what was in my veins was slowly killing me ? I don’t know anymore. I could taste blood on my tongue, maybe I had bitten down on my chapped lips too hard. I drummed my fingertips steadily on the chipped surface of the table, causing flecks of paint to drift towards the floor. This coffee shop was quiet and seculded but by far my favourite place. I rarely ventured outside of my apartment, only for the necessities which for me was coffee, cigarettes, booze and art supplies. I hadn’t eaten in a few days, not out of choice but because I couldn’t afford it. Despite all of this a peaceful smile lazily settled on my face as I clasped my coffee and sketchbook. I had moved to New Jersey a year ago to escape the monster that clung to my back and to throw out all of my skeletons from my closet. I worked part time at this coffee shop and spent most of my free time here as well. I was close with the owner so she let me have free coffee when I pleased if I worked the late night shifts. I remember when I had first stumbled into this coffee shop, bedraggled and exhausted from sleeping on the streets I had all but begged for this job. Fortunately Elissa was a kind woman who had taken pity on me and offered me a job, it was all I needed to get myself together and get onto my feet. Yes maybe my feet were cut and bruised and my balance was completely off but I was standing and fighting for my footing. The colour of daylight was fading against the cold grey of the city as time leached away it’s life. I sighed quietly and finished off my coffee. My shift was starting now and I needed to get my shit together because it was an all nighter. The coffee shop was empty so I vaulted over the counter and conitnued to sketch there.
It wasn’t until midnight that anything happened. I was bored senseless all creativity and passion drained out of me and lay in a pool at my feet where I kicked at it uselessly. I was currently jumping from table top to table top....Yes I’m twenty three and playing don’t touch the ground.. deal with it! I was mid jump when the door chimed and a tall man dressed in black stumbled in. I twisted mid-air and landed on my feet. Not going to lie I was quite proud of my professional landing so the smug grin that slipped onto my face was something I was unable to get rid of.
“Heya, what can I get for you?” I asked smiling gently as I made my way behind the counter. I heard a mumbled order and quietly sung to my iPod as it played Sweet and Tender Hooligan by the Smiths as I made his drinks. The man was hunched over a table in the front corner of the shop and I walked over grasping his boiling cup of coffee. As I placed down his drink I got a good look at his face. Smirking hazel eyes framed by messy black hair glanced up at me. Goosebumps rose on the back of my neck and I nibbled my lip out of a sudden nervousness. At closer inspection I saw his lip was split and blood trickled out of his nose and his right eye was framed by purpling bruises. “What the fuck happened to you?” I blurted out my eyes widening and my back stiffening in shock.
“That’s not really your buisness now it?” I flinched at the angry tone and blushed.
“Look, I’m sorry I have a first aid kit in the back, let me get it for you.” Before he could reply I had disappeared to only return clutching a dusty first aid kit. Ignoring his skeptical looks I placed it on the table and smiled hesitantly. Hazel eyes’ gaze softened at my kindness and I shifted my weight nervously from one foot to another.
“Thanks. Sorry it’s just been a really rough night.” I nodded slowly in understanding and slid into a chair opposite him.
“Let me fix you up, I know basic first aid.” He suddenly looked exhausted and nodded quietly, I willed my trembling hands to be still as I began to clean up his face. A shallow cut ran along his cheek and I gently dabbed at it with ointment flinching when he hissed in pain. “Sorry about this, it’s going to sting a bit.” I murmered leaning closer to his face. We sat like that in silence for who knows how long as I slowly fixed him up. My fingers were trembling with nerves and everytime his breath touched my fingers or we made eye contact shivers ran down my spine. Soon I was finished I began to retract my hand but his ivory elegant fingers slipped around my wrist gently tugging my face even closer to his. I froze my eyes wide and darting nervously between his hazel ones.
“I’m Gerard.” He murmered his breath brushing against my face. His voice was deep and mesmerising and I bit down on my lip my entire body frozen, completely enthralled and focused on him. I swallowed and glanced up at him from under my lashes.
“I’m Amity. But you can call me Mitty.” I whispered breathily my eyes locked with his hazel ones. The first shards of sunlight dribbled onto the concrete buildings opposite the shop and I felt my lips twitch into a smile.

Notes

So this is my first fanfic and it's like 1 in the morning so it would be nice if you were kind about this because I myself am running on like three cups of coffee in an attempt to get this finished due to being unable to sleep without it being done. So yeah hope you like it I will update regularly depending on the feedback
xo