How Dare They Steal Your Light.
Summary
Dear Miles,
I can still see her face in my dreams, hear her voice softly when it's the most quiet at night. And after I've put you to bed and laid you beside me, your little face buried in my shoulder, I've always wondered if you heard me cry, no matter how tight I would shove my fist into my mouth to stop the whimpering sound. I hope you never have to feel the same burning hole that I have in my chest, right where my heart should be. This consuming sinking feeling every time we have to speak about her. My heart break is still a little to hard to swallow even now at the sound of her name, it feels like acid to the tongue.
I'm only writing this to you because I had made a promise. I had promised her that I wouldn't let you nor I forget. She's always had that fear, that the people she most cared about would forget about her. I know that you're too young to understand now, but I hope when you read this. You'll be mature and grown and you'll understand everything. Every high and low we went through, and everything we followed that we thought we were doing right. I don't want to sugarcoat anything to you, or leave any details out so things will be a little graphic but if I don't write down everything then I fear I might forget it. I don't want you to think of me as a liar and hear the truth from someone else. I want to tell you about your mother and to give you, my loving son this warning.
Don't fall in love, there's just to much to lose. If you're given the choice then I beg you to chose to walk away, please walk away. Don't let her get you. I can't bear to see the same happen to you. Now son, I'm only telling you this because life can do terrible things.
So, this is our beginning Son. This is our story. Our life of terrible things, but thank you for letting me relive them all over again.
I can still see her face in my dreams, hear her voice softly when it's the most quiet at night. And after I've put you to bed and laid you beside me, your little face buried in my shoulder, I've always wondered if you heard me cry, no matter how tight I would shove my fist into my mouth to stop the whimpering sound. I hope you never have to feel the same burning hole that I have in my chest, right where my heart should be. This consuming sinking feeling every time we have to speak about her. My heart break is still a little to hard to swallow even now at the sound of her name, it feels like acid to the tongue.
I'm only writing this to you because I had made a promise. I had promised her that I wouldn't let you nor I forget. She's always had that fear, that the people she most cared about would forget about her. I know that you're too young to understand now, but I hope when you read this. You'll be mature and grown and you'll understand everything. Every high and low we went through, and everything we followed that we thought we were doing right. I don't want to sugarcoat anything to you, or leave any details out so things will be a little graphic but if I don't write down everything then I fear I might forget it. I don't want you to think of me as a liar and hear the truth from someone else. I want to tell you about your mother and to give you, my loving son this warning.
Don't fall in love, there's just to much to lose. If you're given the choice then I beg you to chose to walk away, please walk away. Don't let her get you. I can't bear to see the same happen to you. Now son, I'm only telling you this because life can do terrible things.
So, this is our beginning Son. This is our story. Our life of terrible things, but thank you for letting me relive them all over again.
Chapters
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You Demi Fucking God.
'I just want to breathe smoke, and destroy something beautiful. Can't you see that you're beautiful?'
-
Always About Me, And The Love She Never Had.
"Jack Daniels, bitch."
3/26/13