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Love-nap

Thunder

I walk down the dark narrow corridor to find my locker, the light switch won't work from the storm outside.
The thunder echoes through the room from the open window, I quickly go to close it, getting a lot of rain on myself in the process.
"Argh why won't it close" I whine to myself, I continue jamming it vigorously, oblivious to the world around me until suddenly I feel too big hands grab me by the waist and throw me to the ground, before I can scream a man in a balaclava hits me over the head with a hockey stick, I suddenly feel woozy and drift off into a deep, dark sleep.



There's a burning pain on my wrists as I finally start to come around, and I am blindfolded. I appear to be tied to a chair..
"Hello?" I call, "Can you let me go please??"
I hear an evil chuckle coming from behind me, I gulp.
"No." Says a deep raspy voice. The stranger walks closer to me and breathes into my ear, "I'll untie you if you promise not to escape and BE QUIET!!" he whispers,
"Okay, I won't escape and I'll try to be quiet I guess" I obey.
I feel him unravel the rope around me and he pushes me off the chair. I feel around the soft carpet. Then try to take off my blindfold,
"NO!!" He yells stopping me, he then ties my hands together again, like I can't be trusted.
"Stay here" he whispers, the thunder rumbles outside.
"Well I can't exactly go anywhere like this can I?"
He laughs darkly as I hear him climbing some squeaky stairs.

Notes

Comments

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@My name is JeanValJean
PRISIONER 24601 YOUR TIME IS UP AND YOUR PAROL'S BEGUN. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
yeah. I thought that too. Great idea. Too quickly executed

This is a rather interesting concept, but I find the grammar, or lack thereof, distracting, and the characters seem unnatural in their actions, especially in the way Frank accepts his situation and warms up to Gerard alarmingly quickly with no character development in between or explanation further than Gerard not hurting him. Frank also seems to act like it a casual thing to occur rather than an extreme event. I praise you for the concept but I feel the execution is failing you.

JeanValJean JeanValJean
2/26/15

@Gee'sCLUELESSgirl!
Oh I haven't mentioned it but I was going to make them about 15-16, they are kind of young for 16 I guess but yeh but I liked the cuteness going on lol. I think they're relationship might get more mature when Gee's ankle is better, I'm probably gonna write a sequel! xx