I Think I Like It

Mikey and I were in his room, playing a (perhaps not so friendly) game of Call of Duty, when Gerard poked his head through the door, a wild grin on his face. I groaned – this couldn’t be good.
“What is it, dork?” I said, barely taking my eyes off of the screen.
“I have a surprise for you.” He said. I could almost hear the smile in his voice.
“No thanks.” I grumbled. Mikey chuckled from beside me. Gerard made a disgruntled noise and shifted his weight onto his other foot. Mikey and I shared a significant look, and I paused the game, turning to look at Gerard.
“Okay. You have my full attention. What’s up?” I asked. The smile crept back onto his face as he rocked back and forth on his heels.
“I have a surprise for you.” He repeated. I laughed.
“I got that much, babe. What is it?”
“Well…okay. Okay, if you don’t want to, then I can totally refund it. It’s not a big deal. I just thought, since you’re going to University soon, that it’d be nice. Because we’ve spent a lot of this summer just sitting around, you know? And I think…I think we should…”
“Spit it out.” Mikey snapped playfully. Gerard blushed and nodded.
“You and I are gonna go away. For like, a few days. Just us.” He said, his eyes flicking to Mikey.
“We are?” I asked. I wasn’t entirely sure about how I felt about it. The idea of going away with him, of course, wasn’t at all unwelcome, but he was right when he said that I had University soon. I had so much to do and to prepare.
I opened my mouth to tell him that maybe we could do it another time, when I come down to see him, but he cut me off.
“I know it’s cutting it close, I really do. I mean, by the time we get back, you’ll only have like a couple days, and I know that’s inconvenient but…” he sighed.
“But I just want to be with you.” He whispered gently. My heart melted in my chest, and I looked at Mikey, who just rolled his eyes. How could I say no to that?
“Where are we going?” I asked wearily. Gerard’s face lit up.
“ Okay, okay. I was thinking of one of those little cabins up in the woods and stuff. Like, we can go fucking hiking and swim in rivers and shit.” He beamed. I arched an eyebrow.
“Isn’t that the setting for like, every horror movie ever?” I snorted. He narrowed his eyes.
“Well, if Leatherface comes to visit, I’ll make sure to tell him where you are. Dick.” He teased. I rolled my eyes and slid to my feet, walking over and pulling him into a hug. I rested my head on his shoulder and smiled.
“It sounds great, Gerard.” I smiled. He sighed in relief and wrapped his arms around my waist.
“When do we leave?” I asked. He pulled away slightly.
“Tomorrow morning?” he said weakly. I just groaned and stalked to our bedroom to start packing.

Gerard, at first, wanted to spend a whole week away, but when I reminded him of the dangers of staying in a cabin for too long (referencing along the way, the movies Cabin Fever, I Spit on Your Grave, and The Shining), he agreed that five days was good too. I think Mikey was relieved to hear this; as much as he acted independent, I knew he’d be lost without Gerard.
The only inclination that he showed that he’d miss him, was when he said, causally on the morning we were going to leave:
“I really hope you don’t get eaten by a bear. You gotta come back to me, okay?” and then turned back to his cornflakes. I could tell that the comment had touched Gerard, but he knew that saying any more about it would just make Mikey uncomfortable, so he simply said “yeah, I will.”
I’m not sure if either brothers realized that the other kept sending concerned glances at them for the rest of the morning, and I decided that this must be similar to how my friends felt around Gerard and I.
I made a mental note to apologise to each and every one of them.
Unlike Gerard, the only person I had to say goodbye to was my Mother. Naturally, she was dubious about me going away to a cabin in the woods somewhere for five days with no signal and my English teacher – a fact that wasn’t eased when I casually reminded her that he was my fiancée. She was still, I believed, in denial about that.
She told me to be careful, and to call or text her every minute that I was able to. Even though I knew that wouldn’t be often, I still assured her that I would. After a hasty goodbye and a mumbled “yeah, I’ll miss you”, she hung up, and I got that familiar pang in my chest I got whenever I hung up. Not living with her was hard. It just reminded me, over and over again, that there would be a day where I couldn’t see her, and that I was wasting my time not being with her while I could.
I told Gerard, and he comforted me by holding me and kissing me, and ended with him giving me a blowjob that made me forget everything I was worried about.
He was, on occasion, very therapeutic to have around.

After we’d checked for our belongings and said our goodbyes (meaning, Gerard made sure, for the 100th time, that Mikey had everything he’d need for the next few days), we packed up the car and started to drive. It hit me when we were on the road, that I had no idea at all exactly where we were going.
“Gerard. Where are you taking me?” I asked incredulously. He raised an eyebrow in confusion.
“I told you…”
“No, no. I mean, I know where, but like, where is it, exactly?”
“Oh! Oh, it’s a couple of hours away.” He said simply, and I got the impression that he wasn’t entirely sure of where we were going either. I wasn’t surprised, though – I was used to him doing things on a whim. It was kind of what made the prospect of marrying him so appealing – I wouldn’t ever get bored; not for a single second.
“You’d better have something to entertain me.” I said, wiggling my eyebrows. He rolled his eyes.
“We can stop at McDonald’s in a few minutes, kiddo. Then you can play with the toy you get in your happy meal.” He said condescendingly.
“Or I could shove it up your ass.” I said in a pleasant tone. He mulled this over for a moment.
“Y’know, you probably could.” He agreed. He reached over to turn the radio up, then slid his hand into mine. The radio was playing some indistinguishable music and I sighed, my neck already getting sore from sitting in the car, and we’d barely been in it even half an hour yet.
“Ge-rard” I whined. He looked at me in amusement.
“Hm?” He asked, a smile playing around his lips. I grinned and played along, kicking my feet.
“I’m bored and I’m hungry” I whimpered, wiggling around restlessly in my seat. He sighed mockingly.
“Can’t you just wait a minute, Franklin?” he said tersely. I snorted at the name – nobody had ever called me that in my life.
“But Daddy.” I whined. His eyes widened and he bit his lip, looking like he was debating something in his head.
“But nothing, baby. You’ve gotta wait.” He said, shooting me a soft smile, his thumb rubbing my hand affectionately. I grinned.
“You’re gonna make a great Dad some day, Gerard.” I said gently. He raised his eyebrows and let out a nervous laugh.
“Already thinking about kids, Frankie?”
I wasn’t sure how to answer him. If he was asking me if I’d considered having children with him, then of course the answer was yes. I’d always just assumed that he and I would have children in one way or another. I couldn’t imagine him not being a father. Not that I thought I’d be particularly great at it, but he’d be good enough for the two of us.
If he was asking me, however, if I had actually thought about it, in detail, then the answer was no. I hadn’t thought about the logistics, and I certainly hadn’t named them. Perhaps I was being pretentious, but all of that seemed a little bit beneath us.
“I’d have children with you.” I answered honestly. I wasn’t sure how to feel about the surprise that spread across his face.
“You would?” he asked, sounding genuinely shocked.
“Well, yeah. ‘Cause I love you, you know? So I guess it’s only natural that we’d have kids. Share the love and all that bullshit.” I smiled.
“And you wouldn’t be worried about what they thought of their Daddies being twenty years apart?” He chuckled, but I detected a note of genuine insecurity in his voice.
“Not really. As long as we love them…”
“But how long can I love them for, Frankie? I only have maybe…shit, like, 30 years left on this Earth. 40 tops. I know that sounds like a long time, but-“
“Gerard-“
“But you’ve got like, another 60. That means that our children are almost definitely going to have to live with only one parent, and-“
“I did it. I’m fine.”
“But I don’t want that. I can’t bear to bring a life into the world and then just leave it. And what if I become like, fuck, fucking senile or some shit? That’s traumatic as fuck.” He said, his voice becoming panicked. I pressed my lips together.
“You think you’re too old to have children.” I said simply. He paused for a moment and took a deep, labored breath. I knew I was right before he even said anything.
“When I was in Uni, in my last year, Reggie found out that he was impotent. He and his girlfriend at the time wanted to have a baby when they left, so they asked me to…uh, donate.” He said with a wistful grin. I watched him carefully, unsure where this story was going, and if I wanted to hear it.
“They told me I could be its Godfather. That I could come see it whenever I wanted, and be like, a third parent.” He said, his eyes alight.
“What happened?” I asked. The light in his eyes dulled and he shrugged.
“I chickened out. It was…it was too much, you know? They broke up not long after, so I guess it was for the best, but I always wonder what it’d have been like.” He said softly.
“But Gee, it’s not too late. Baby, we can have kids. People your age do it all the time.” I insisted. He shrugged.
“Maybe.” He sighed, but I could tell that it was the end of the conversation. I realized later that this was the first and last time Gerard and I would ever discuss having kids together, and I always looked back on it with a sort of wistful longing. Maybe if I’d pushed it a bit more, we’d have argued it out and he’d have agreed to at least try. But I just let him sit in his silence, almost hearing the cogs turning in his head, but doing nothing to help him, and letting yet another possible future slip between our fingers.

We stopped not long after this for lunch, pulling into a rest stop so we could use the bathroom and grab something to eat. He’d been in a bad mood since our conversation, and I was desperately thinking of ways to cheer him up. I knew it was bad when the promise of coffee and hamburgers wasn’t enough to get him excited. The idea came to me in a burst of inspiration as we walked into the truck stop. He turned and made a beeline for the bathroom, and I followed him, almost dutifully. As soon as we walked in, I took his hand in mine. He looked at me confusion and I smiled.
“I’m going to suck you off in that stall.” I told him, gesturing to it with my head. His eyes widened, and for a moment it looked like he was going to refuse me, but eventually, a small smile crossed his lips.
“Yes, please. I’m so horny.” He said with a nervous giggle. He pulled me into the stall and locked it behind him. I laughed as he took me into his arms.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were horny, idiot? I could’ve done this in the car.” I giggled. He blushed.
“It didn’t seem right. And besides, I was just gonna get myself off in here. Problem solved.” He said with an affirmative nod. I leaned up and pecked him on the lips.
“Well, now I can get you off. Problem even more solved.” I chuckled, kissing along his neck. He hummed happily and held me close, his hand combing through my hair.
“You’re wonderful.” He told me in a soft voice, his fingers trailing down my spine. I smiled and slid my hands into his waistband.
“I know.” I grinned. He laughed softly, turning his head to kiss my jaw.
“You gonna talk or you gonna suck my cock?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. I chuckled and sunk to my knees. He and I both fumbled desperately at his belt and jeans. We knew we didn’t have that much time, so he just slid them down to his thighs, pulling his cock out of his boxers.
“You’re so dirty.” He grinned as I brushed my lips across the top of his leaking cock.
“Nah. I just love you.” I said, wrapping my lips around him. He laughed softly and leaned his head back against the stall with a gentle sigh.
“Mm. That’s good.” He hummed, his fingers running through my hair. The floor was cold, and I could feel the chill through my jeans, but I focused my attention on sucking him, my cheeks hollowing out as spit ran down my chin. His breath soon turned harsh and jagged and I couldn’t help but smile around him. I pulled off for a moment, stroking him slowly.
“What? Already done?” I asked, my voice hoarse. He laughed weakly.
“You’re so good at that.” He said by means of explanation. I didn’t mind, though – the whole point was that he felt good. I gave a little giggle before sliding him back into my mouth, moaning at how full he made me feel, as my lips tightened around his thick length. He gave a shuddering breath as he rocked his hips forward into my mouth, his breathing shallow and desperate.
“Oh, fuck. Yeah.” He whispered as he rolled his hips into me. I closed my hand around him, just in front of my lips, and stroked him as I sucked. He cried out, his hand closing in my hair. A small twitch along his length was the only warning I received, before he came hard into my mouth. I shut my eyes, but I could hear the faint thump as he collapsed against the stall. I pulled off and swallowed, before giving him a bright grin through my swollen, cum-glistening lips. He laughed.
“You sure know how to cheer a guy up.” He beamed, holding out a hand. I accepted it, letting him bring me to my feet, and kissed him gently.
“I love you.” I repeated. He stroked my cheek, using his other hand to tuck himself back in.
“I love you.” He said, pulling me in for another kiss. I used the closeness to help him redress himself. It was somewhat of a disaster, because we were both trying to do it without looking, and our hands kept overlapping and getting tangled. It resulted in him still being half naked, and me laughing against his mouth.
“Let me do it, idiot.” I giggled. He relented, dropping his hands to his sides, and I managed to redo his belt with very little problem.
“See?” I teased. He held my face and kissed my lips with a deliberate slowness.
“I love you.” He said.
“You’ve said that already.”
“I’ll say it a million times. I’ll say it until I’m dead.” He promised. I laughed and took his hand. We walked out of the stall without any subtlety whatsoever, and he led me over to the food court. He let out a soft whine.
“What?” I grinned. He gave me a hopeful smile.
“Coffee” he breathed. I let out a sigh of relief – at least he was feeling better.

After our lunch of coffee and burgers (with an extra large portion of fries that we both decided to pretend we hadn’t eaten), we returned to the car, feeling much happier than we had when we’d left. He slid in the front seat and kissed me on the cheek as he pulled out back onto the road. He twitched the dial on the radio a little higher and leaned back in his seat.
“Frankie? Can you pass me my sunglasses please?” he asked, holding a hand out. I rolled my eyes and searched around in his glove compartment, before shoving them into his hand. He blew me a kiss and pushed them onto his eyes.
“You look like a douche with those on.” I told him, even though he didn’t. He looked gorgeous. He always looked so gorgeous.
“You look like a child.” He retorted.
“Creepy old perv.” I mumbled under my breath.
“Desperate little slut.” He replied coolly. I laughed and squeezed his hand.
“You should put that in your wedding vows.” I teased. He nodded like he was considering it.
“I should. Though, I don’t expect it’ll be a much of a wedding.” He sighed. I frowned.
“Why not?”
“Well, I mean, I know nobody from my family except Mikey would come, and I don’t really have many friends.”
“My Uncle would come. And my Mom-“
“Would she?”
“I think so. I mean, she loves me, you know? And by the time we get married, she’ll come around.” I said, sounding more confident than I felt. I rubbed my ring with my thumb, and Gerard smiled, but it looked almost sad.
“Do you want me to get you a ring too?” I asked. He chewed his lip for a moment, then shook his head.
“No, it’s okay baby. I’m not really…it’s fine.” He said, seeming almost eager to change the topic. I assumed that it was just because he didn’t want me to spend the money on him – which I supposed I could understand. After all, it’s not like I had a job or anything.
“Well, if you want one, let me know.” I told him. He nodded hastily and turned the radio up a bit higher, so I just dropped it, figuring that I was making him uncomfortable.
I realized, a bit too late, that it probably had to do with his lack of a job, and him worrying about his finances.
“Have you progressed in the job search at all?” I asked. We weren’t exactly strapped for cash – he was still being paid until the beginning of the next school year. But I knew he was stressed about it.
He shrugged.
“Kind of. There’s a place in New York that looks promising, but they’re being kinda flaky.” He sighed, stroking my hand with his thumb. I gave him an encouraging smile, realizing that I was making him upset again.
“You’ll find something. And if you don’t, you could always be a rent boy.” I said teasingly. He laughed and wiggled his eyebrows.
“You’d pay me for sex?” he asked.
“I don’t have to.” I reminded him. He just laughed flippantly and squeezed my hand, before turning his attention back to the road.
I turned my attention back to watching his face in the fading sun.

By the time we actually arrived at the cabin, we were exhausted. We dropped our bags on the living room floor, and collapsed onto the sofa. The good thing, was that the cabin wasn’t quite as daunting as I thought it would be. Instead of having a creepy, woodsy feel, it actually felt pretty homey – almost like a cottage, rather than a cabin. The bad thing, though, was that it was up a very steep hill (hence why we were too tired to move once we’d dropped onto the sofa). Gerard joked that we’d be too tired to have sex, but I called his bluff – there was no way he’d ever be too tired for sex. He agreed with me, and kissed me passionately to prove it.
“Mm. I’m too tired.” I giggled. He laughed and buried his face in my neck.
“It’s nice here, isn’t it?” he asked, swaying me softly in his arms.
“Yeah. And I like being alone with you.” I said gently. He kissed my lips and pulled away, leading me towards the stairs.
“C’mon. We should sleep, angel.” He said. I was too tired to deny him, so I followed passively, barely looking around as he led me to the bedroom.
We stripped off quickly and slid into bed with each other, our naked bodies entwined.
“I love you.” I whispered against his throat. He made a soft, sleepy noise and kissed my cheek.
“Mhm. Can’t wait to make you mine.” He murmured.
“I’m already yours. Forever.” I told him. He didn’t hear me, though, because a moment later, I heard his little snores that signified him being already asleep. I smiled fondly and kissed his jaw bone, before snuggling up next to him and letting myself drift off.

Notes

Hello lovelies.
I guess I should just tell you now: There's only gonna be about 5 or 6 more chapters, and then the epilogue. If I could, I'd let this fic go on forever and ever, but it has a story, and it's reaching its end.