I Think I Like It

I never saw the point in the whole ‘graduation’ thing. When I was younger, and watched the people in the grades above me graduating, I couldn’t help but think the ceremony was overly ostentatious, and just generally stupid. That was before it was time for my own, though. As the date approached, the school got more and more excited. Momentarily, the ‘graduation’ hype actually out-hyped the ‘prom’ hype, and the hallways were full of banners and signs and posters. It hit me only a few days before that, shit, this was it. I was actually graduating, and I was actually going to university.
So, in light of this, my opinion changed, surprisingly. No longer did I think it was a stupid, meaningless event.
I thought it was a really fucking stupid meaningless event.

“You’re a lemon.” Gerard sighed. I raised my eyebrows and snorted.
“I’m a lemon?” I asked slowly. He nodded.
“Yes. You’re all sour and gross and…c’mon, Frankie. You’re graduating.” He said, shaking me a little.
It was what my school lovingly called ‘farewell week’, in which we had bullshit assemblies and mini-parties and stuff like that. All week. Thankfully, it was almost over.
Gerard was giving an assembly in maybe half an hour, as he did every year. However, considering he was currently being pressed against his blackboard while I kissed and bit his neck, it seemed unlikely.
“Jesus, Frank. You’re gonna get fuckin’ chalk on my back.” He snapped, pushing me back slightly. I rolled my eyes and perched on his desk.
“So, what are you gonna talk about?” I asked, swinging my legs. He chuckled.
“I was gonna talk about how I’m fucking one of my students, and how he’s a little tease, and how I am very, very in love with him.” He smirked, kissing me. I rolled my eyes and leaned back.
“No, seriously.”
“Seriously, you’re gonna have to wait like the other students.”
“What happened to ‘the little tease I’m fucking’? Don’t I get privileges?”
“Yes. You get me. Isn’t that enough?” he asked, wiggling his hips a little bit. I chuckled, jumping off his desk, pecking him on the lips as I did.
“Yes. It is. It’s also going to get me into trouble unless I go now. Can’t be late for assembly. I hear the guy giving it is pretty hot.” I beamed. He nudged my ass with his foot, laughing.
“Goodbye, Iero.” He smirked.
“See you later, Mr. Way.”
“Frankie, fuck.” He moaned.
“Mr. Way. Please, compose yourself. You don’t want to go out in front of all those people with a boner.” I said, raising my eyebrows. He looked down and groaned.
“I hate you.” He snapped, but smiled. I didn’t say a word as I left.

I filed into assembly with Joe and Chris on each side of me. They said it was an innocent coincidence, but I knew they had every intention of making fun of me when Gerard was speaking.
‘Cause you know. What else are friends for, right?
We sat in a row to the left of the small platform we called, somewhat wishfully, a stage, in the second row. I groaned when I realized the seats, because he’d probably be able to find me quite quickly with his eyes, and I was worried he’d stare at me.
I’d heard that he did that a lot.
Despite my reservations, I couldn’t help the rush of pride that ran through me when he walked up to the small, unimpressive podium. His eyes scanned the room and I watched a blush form on his cheeks. I couldn’t help but grin. He cleared his throat, his blush growing deeper. I watched as he self-consciously loosened his tie.
“Hi, guys. How’s everyone doing?” he asked. The room was silent. He gulped and smiled again.
“Wow. Okay. So, this is overwhelming. I mean, I look out and there’s just so many of you that I’ve known for such a long time, and some of you I’ve only met this year. However, no matter how long I’ve known you, I feel like I have a connection with each and every one of you.” He said.
“That’s literal, in Frank’s case.” Joe muttered. I jabbed him in the ribs.
“You’ve all grown as people in the time I’ve known you, and I’m proud to have been even a small part of that process. I know it’s been a tremulous year, and it hasn’t been…easy. We’ve all had our individual struggles and issues. But I like to think that we’ve helped each other through it.”
“Basically, it’s an open love letter to Frankie.” Chris muttered. A jab in the ribs was administered to him by yours truly.
“I myself have faced many challenges and trials this year, in particular, and I know a lot of you guys have, too. Every day, I’ve seen you come into my class, and every day there’s something going on inside every single brain. You’re all constantly thinking about life, and about truth and love. And that’s important. That’s what I value the very most in students. You are all, every one of you, incredibly kind, inquisitive, intelligent students, and I believe that the world is literally yours, so go get it. Whatever it is that you feel is holding you back, let it go, and then go follow your dreams, because all of you are worth it. In this group of young people, I have found people who I genuinely think can reach the stars if they want to. And you will. You will, because you are spectacular.” He flicked his eyes to me.
“You are exceptional.” He breathed, before turning his attention back to the crowd.
“We started this year reading To Kill A Mockingbird, and I told you it was my favourite book. That remains the same, but teaching such a genuinely interesting, inspiring group of people has somewhat solidified the meaning for me. You have all shown, in your personalities, and in what you bring into the world, every single thing I love about the book. You showed me adventure and fearlessness. You showed me bravery and kindness, and love, and acceptance. Most of all, you’ve shown me that differences should be accepted. You should love yourself for who you are, and others for who they are. No exceptions.
Thank you all for what has easily been the most eventful year of my life. It’s been a pleasure.” He finished with an easy smile. Chris, being an asshole, was the first to clap. The rest of the hall followed suit quickly. Gerard’s eyes rested on mine, and I laughed. His face pulled into a proud smile.
“Gotta hand it to you, Iero. Your man’s got it.” Joe beamed. I chuckled.
“You’re not even in my class, why are you in the assembly?” I hissed.
“Mr. Way told me to come and bug you.” He said with a grin. I shot Gerard a look, and he laughed, as if he knew what we were talking about.
“I’m gonna kill him.” I beamed. Chris rolled his eyes.
“You express your love in negatives. Have you ever noticed that?” he asked. I flipped him the finger as we all filed out, heading back to our classes.
“It’s sort of weird to think that we’re never gonna have another English lesson again, right?” Chris mused.
“Well, we have the one this afternoon? But yeah. I guess so.” I shrugged. Chris laughed.
“Okay, maybe it’s not weird for you. But I think I might miss Mr. Way. He’s pretty cool.” Chris nodded slowly. I shrugged.
“Yeah. He’s alright.”

My final English lesson was surprisingly emotional, for everyone who wasn’t me. Not that I wasn’t sad, of course, but more that I wasn’t going to miss Gerard because, you know, we’re fucking.
Still, it choked me up to see everyone else getting so choked up. Especially him.
“Y’know, Mr. Way. I think you’re an asshole, and every time I see you I want to rip your balls off. But you’re actually okay.” I heard Cameron say. Gerard just laughed.
“Thanks, Cam. No hard feelings?”
“Yeah, sure.” He smiled, shaking his hand. It made me feel warm, like I hadn’t started a massive, unending feud.
The girls, of course, flocked around him for most of the lesson.
“So, does this mean we can’t talk to you anymore?” Jasmine simpered. I chuckled, and Gerard shot me a look.
“I’m afraid so, girls. Other than at Graduation tomorrow, and then at prom.”
“What if we like, see you in public?” Anna asked eagerly. He shrugged.
“Well, that could be okay. As long as you don’t, um. Follow me.” He mumbled, and the girls fell into fits of laughter. I smiled at how uncomfortable he looked. It was his own fault for flirting shamelessly with all of them all year.
“But we can talk to you at prom?” Jasmine clarified. He blushed.
“Um…I suppose so. I don’t see why not. I’ll be uh, sort of busy. Chaperoning. Stuff like that.” He mumbled.
“Frank, go save him.” Chris laughed. I chuckled and walked over.
“Uh, Mr. Way?” I asked. He looked at me with grateful eyes.
“Yes! Frank! How can I help?” he asked. I smiled.
“I was just wondering about…um…university?” I said weakly, revealing that I really had no plan. He sighed at my unpreparedness.
“That’s…yeah, sure. Let’s go outside. It’s kinda loud in here.” He murmured, placing a firm hand on the small of my back and leading me outside.
Once away from the classroom, we both burst into a fit of giggles.
“Holy shit.” He wheezed, grabbing his hip, beaming.
“You were great, you know. Talking. It was…it was really sweet, Gee.” I smiled gently. He held my hand softly.
“Thank you. You looked…amused.”
“I think that has more to do with you inviting Joe to the assembly just to bug me.” I snapped. He laughed.
“Invited? I paid him. Ten dollars.” He chuckled.
“Oh my god, you are an asshole.” I groaned, but at the same time, feeling a swell of affection for him.
“You’re in love with me, though.” He smiled. I, after checking the hallway, leaned up and kissed him softly.
“I am. Gerard, I am so in love with you.” I sighed, stroking his cheek. He smiled.
“Good. Are you excited for tomorrow?” he asked, leaning against the wall and smiling – clearly taking advantage of the time we had alone together. I shrugged.
“I guess so. It’s pretty daunting though, right? Like. This is it. I’m done.” I breathed. It was a fact that had been following close behind me throughout my examination process, and now that it was looming ahead of me, I was less excited and more nervous. He nodded.
“You’re done. And then you’re moving to Canada.” He said with a sad smile. I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat at his words.
“I…let’s not talk about that now.” I whispered. He nodded and looked away.
“We should go back.” He mumbled, leading me back into the classroom for another half an hour of people trying to get him to like them last-minute. Gerard, being highly personable, generally forgave even the shittiest kids for their behaviour, in the end. That was him, though. Too forgiving. Too kind. It’s why he’d broken his own heart so many times – he just couldn’t say no to anyone.
He caught my eye and gave me a questioning glance, and I threw him a smile that I hoped would say ‘no worries, baby’.
Chris appeared to my left and leaned heavily on me.
“We’re still gonna be brothers when you go to Canada, right?” he asked. I chuckled.
“Yeah, dude. It’s fine. We’re gonna be brothers forever.” I grinned. He nodded.
“Alright. Don’t tell Joe I asked that, or he’ll beat my pussy ass.” He sighed. I rolled my eyes, shaking my head.
“Okay, Chris. Whatever you say.” I smiled.
The bell rang then, signifying the end of the lesson and, much to everyone’s shock, the end of our lives as students. Sure, we were going to university, but it wasn’t the same. We all stood in silence, staring at each other, a sense of surrealism filling the room. This was it. We were done. We were actually done.
Gerard put a hand on my lower back. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I thought he was being risky, but I was too weirded-out to care.
“Congratulations, everyone. Go get drunk as fuck.” Gerard said, breaking the silence. That seemed to be the catalyst for the room to explode in all different emotions. Some people started crying, and some were screaming, and others were laughing. It was chaotic.
“I love you.” Gerard murmured in my ear, low enough that he couldn’t be heard. I smiled.
“You too.” I breathed, subtly squeezing his hand. Though, the subtlety wasn’t needed. I doubted anyone was paying attention – nor would they probably care.
We were done. We did it.

My Mom was emotional the next morning.
Okay. That’s an understatement. My Mom was a fucking wreck the next morning.
“Oh my God! My baby Frankie! All grown up and going to university! Your Dad would be so proud, Frankie. Oh, you’re so amazing!” she weeped, following me around as I tried to get ready. I laughed, sliding my tie up.
“Thanks, Mama. I need to go, okay?” I said, holding her shoulders. We had to do a rehearsal for the graduation ceremony, to make sure nobody fell off the stage or shit themselves.
Again.
“Okay. I’ll see you tonight, and then we can go out for dinner.” She said, nodding as she wiped her eyes. I chuckled.
“Of course, Mom.” I smiled.
“Do you wanna bring Cameron?” She asked. I froze, biting my lip.
“Um. No, Mom. I think he has plans with his family.” I said nervously. She blushed.
“Maybe we could invite Mr. Way? If he’s…not doing anything.” She said slowly. I rolled my eyes to the ceiling, mentally praying to whatever was up there to kill me.
“Um. Maybe, Ma.” I smiled. She laughed.
“Okay, sorry. Go! I’ll see you tonight.” She said, pressing a kiss on my cheek. I kissed her and grabbed my jacket as I headed out the door.

TO: Gee.
(12:34pm)
Warning: Mama Iero is gonna ask you to dinner tonight.

FROM: Gee.
(12:37pm)
I’m gonna say yes just to piss you off.
Where are you btw? Boring as fuck without you here.

TO: Gee.
(12:39pm)
Don’t you dare!
On my way. Love you! Xo

FROM: Gee.
(12:42pm)
I love you too. I’d love you more if you picked me up some coffee on your way over. I’d love you a lot if you did that.

I laughed and shook my head as I slid my phone back into my pocket, making a mental note to swing by Starbucks on my way over.

When I did finally get to school, Gerard’s coffee in hand, I was somewhat surprised to notice that I was actually one of the last ones to arrive. It seemed like everyone else in my grade was already there. I blamed it on excitement.
When Gerard saw me (or, more appropriately, when he saw the cup of coffee in my hand) his eyes lit up, and I watched him desperately try to excuse himself from his conversation. This was mostly unsuccessful, though, and I found it heavily amusing to watch him as he gazed longingly at his coffee.
Finally, he managed to escape. He made a direct beeline for me, subtlety be damned, and grabbed the coffee from my hands. He took a long sip and moaned softly, his eyes fluttering shut.
“Thank you. I love you.” He breathed a little bit too loudly. I looked around, blushing.
“Careful.” I snapped. He smiled amusedly at me, taking another long sip.
“So, what took you so long?” he sighed.
“I didn’t realize everyone was gonna show up so early.”
“Aren’t you excited to finally be an adult, Frankie?” he giggled, bumping me with his hip.
“Not really. I was more excited when the stakes were higher.” I said, wiggling my eyebrows suggestively. He narrowed his eyes.
“Stakes?”
“You said we wouldn’t have sex until graduation, but uh, that’s kind of gone out the window.” I said, lowering my voice. He laughed.
“I suppose so. I can fuck you anyway?” he offered. I widened my eyes.
“Seriously, Gerard, shut up. You’re gonna get us in trouble.” I hissed. He just smirked and downed the rest of his coffee.
“Aw, sorry Frankie. I’m just glad to see you. This whole morning has been boring as hell. I just wanna get the thing going. Get you all graduated and shit.”
“Why?”
“No reason.” He said quickly with an easy smile that I didn’t trust. I chewed my lip and tilted my head, hoping to prompt an extension of his statement, but to no avail.
“Weird dude. Go help with teacher stuff.” I teased. He looked over to where most of the teachers were congregating, then looked back, considerably paler than before.
“Tina’s over there.” He mumbled. I giggled.
“What’s wrong, Gee? Can’t face up to the people you fuck?”
“Not her. Fuck, dude. She’s fucking crazy. She threw a fucking tampon applicator at me. I didn’t even know those existed until it was in my face.”
“Gross. What did you do?”
“What I always do. I fucked her, told her I couldn’t see her anymore or whatever, and then tried to leave. She’s clingy as hell, dude.” he groaned.
“Well, you can’t sit and talk to me all day, Mr. Way. I do have friends my own age. Do you?” I said, batting my eyelashes. He narrowed his eyes.
“I hate you.” He said with a smirk.
“Save it for the bedroom, baby.” I breathed, biting my lip. He let out a soft broken moan.
“Again. I hate you. Don’t you dare get me hard.” He hissed. I popped out my hip and smiled innocently.
“Maybe if you left me alone, there wouldn’t be a problem, Mr. Way?” I said. He growled something unintelligible under his breath and stalked away.
I giggled as I made my way over to my friends.
“What are you laughing at?” Chris smiled.
“Gerard’s being super weird.” I chuckled. They shared a look, giggling.
“Oh my god. What?” I groaned.
“Nothing.” Joe said.
“He told us not to tell you.” Chris added.
“Is it gonna make me kill him?”
“No. You’ll probably kick yourself, though.” Joe grinned.
“I hate him, and both of you. I’m gonna go be a lonely hermit in the cold expanses of Alaska.” I sighed dramatically.
“’Kay dude.” Chris shrugged. I narrowed my eyes, but couldn’t help the grin that spread across my face. If I was going to spend my final moments as a student with any idiots, I was glad it was these idiots.

The rehearsal went fairly well. Nobody died. Nobody threw up. Gerard sent me on several coffee runs, with murmured promises of a blowjob in payment. I just rolled my eyes, and assured him that it was okay. I didn’t really want to see Gerard go through this day without coffee – he looked like he was losing it as it was.
By the time they opened the doors to our parents, everybody was terrified. Sure, we didn’t have to actually do anything, but it was a scary prospect.
Gerard came behind me and put his hands on my shoulders. Not even caring at that moment if we were caught, I leaned into his touch with a sigh.
“I’m nervous.” I admitted with a smile. He chuckled and nuzzled his cheek into my hair.
“Don’t be. You’ve worked so, so hard for this. It’s okay.” He promised, squeezing my shoulders. He took a step back, and I frowned at the loss of contact.
“I feel like…I don’t know. I’m gonna miss not seeing you.” I admitted softly. He chuckled.
“You’ll see me all the time, Frankie. We can spend the whole summer together.” He grinned. I frowned.
“You know what I mean. Once I…leave.” I said, the word feeling dead on my lips. Gerard sighed.
“It’s gonna be okay. We’ll sort something out. I mean, I can’t exactly come up with you…but we’ll work out something. I’m not letting you go like that.” He said, raising his hand to stroke my cheek, but letting it fall when he caught himself. I smiled.
“Remember when you were gonna try to ignore this? After that first time?” I giggled. He rolled his eyes.
“What a mistake that would have been. I love you.” He murmured. I bit my lip.
“You too. I…have to go. I’ll talk to you after the ceremony thing.” I stammered, my heart racing. He nodded and held his hand out, smirking. I chuckled and shook his head.
“It’s been good being your teacher, Frank. All the best.” He smiled politely. I rolled my eyes, and he winked, turning and walking away.
I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned around to see Chris and Joe smiling at me.
“Ready to do this?” Joe asked nervously. I sucked in a breath.
“Um. No. Let’s just…”
“Has he told you the thing yet? Or have you worked it out?” Chris chuckled, gesturing to Gerard. I groaned.
“No. And no. God, can’t you just tell me?” I begged. They shook their heads almost simultaneously.
“Takes away the fun.” Joe sighed. Chris nodded enthusiastically in agreement.
“Can we just go.” I said, pushing them towards the line of students forming at the side of the stage.
This was it. I was actually done.

The ceremony itself was fairly simple. They called my name, I walked onstage, grabbed my diploma, shook Mr. Tucker’s hand, and walked to the side of the stage. It wasn’t particularly difficult, or even nerve-provoking. What made the thrill rush through me, was my Mother. She was sitting in the center of the front row, and my heart squeezed. She beamed at me, tears in her eyes, and I felt a rush of pride. She’d raised me all on her own after my Father died, and she’d done so well. Especially considering everything I’d been lying to her about recently.
I felt tears prickle my eyes, and before I knew it, I was crying. It wasn’t really embarrassing, because so was everyone else, but I wasn’t crying because I was graduating – I was crying because I was lying to the one person in the world who would always love me – who had always loved me.
“Congrats, class of 2015.” Mr. Tucker grinned, and the audience burst into applause, parents and teachers alike getting to their feet to cheer. I caught Gerard’s eye, and noticed that he was crying.
I raised my eyebrows at him incredulously, and he chuckled and wiped his eyes, even as more tears fell.
“So proud of you.” He mouthed. I bit my lip and looked back at my Mom, who was looking at me with a similar look of pride.
It seemed like years before we were finally dismissed from the stage, and shepherded around the back of the stage to say our goodbyes.
The room was filled with a lot of people saying a lot of different things. ‘I’ll miss you’, ‘I’ll see you at prom’, ‘you’re amazing’. Stuff like that. The one that surprised me, though, was the one that was said to me frantically.
“I love you.” He said, grabbing my shirt.
“Gerard.” I protested, pulling away. He held me harder.
“Don’t. I don’t care. Please. I love you.” He said, tears streaming down his face. Okay, nobody was even looking at us, but it didn’t matter. We could get caught. I was almost angry at how reckless he was being.
“You too, but we can’t-“
“Say it. Tell me.” He demanded.
“I love you, Gerard. I love you.” I breathed. He let out a choked sob and pulled me into his arms. I sobbed and wrapped my arms tightly around him.
“I love you so much. I’m so proud of you, Frankie. Fuck, I’m in love with you.” He cried into my shoulder. I rubbed his back softly.
“I love you too. I’m always gonna love you.” I whispered. He took a step back and laughed softly.
“I’d kiss you, but…”
“I know. It’s fine.” I giggled. He stroked my cheek.
“You’re so beautiful.” He murmured. I bit my lip, tasting the salt from the tears running down my cheeks.
Joe, of course, ruined it.
“Not to interrupt the gay party, really, but um. Everybody’s staring at you.” Joe said, nudging me. I looked up and, sure enough, there were several eyes on us. Gerard chuckled dryly, dropping his hand.
“Other people, eh?” he mumbled.
“I’ll text you tonight.” I smiled.
“Huh? I’m coming to dinner with you, baby.” He said, wiggling his eyebrows. My smile dropped.
“No. You didn’t.” I groaned. He handed me my jacket, nodding softly.
“Yep. Sorry, kiddo!” he beamed, striding away from me. I sighed, turning to Joe.
“Were we that obvious?” I asked with a blush. He chewed his lip.
“Ah. Yes. It was pretty bad.” He laughed. I narrowed my eyes.
“I don’t see how that’s funny.” I snapped, sliding my jacket on. Joe rolled his eyes.
“Because you’re dumb. Let me know when you work it out.” He smiled. He patted me patronizingly on the head before he walked back to where he’d been before he’d broken up the ‘gay party’.
I followed Gerard out from behind the curtain, praying that he’d been joking.
However, when I saw him standing by my Mom, both of them laughing, my stomach dropped, and I realized that he really, really hadn’t been joking.
I watched my Mom put her hand on his shoulder, and he froze. I decided that now would be as good a time as any to interrupt.
“Hey Mama!” I said as I approached. She dropped her hand and beamed at me, and Gerard shot me an appreciative look. I hugged my Mother tightly.
“I’m so proud of you, Frank.” She sighed, kissing my cheek. I pulled away and held her hands, beaming.
“Thanks, Mom. I’m just glad it’s over.” I laughed.
“So Mr. Way’s joining us for dinner.” She cut in quickly. I turned and gave him a tight smile.
“Lovely.” I said through gritted teeth. He laughed.
“Sorry, Frank. Does that make you uncomfortable?” he asked with false sincerity.
“Not at all. Sir.” I spat with a tense smile. He nodded.
“So it’s settled.” He said with a warm smile. My Mom blushed, and I actually threw up a little in my mouth.
“Okay, let’s go.” She said awkwardly, turning on her heel. Gerard beamed at me, and I glared.
“If you flirt with my Mom all night, I will literally break up with you.” I hissed.
“I won’t flirt with your Mom, Frank. I can’t say the same for you, though.” He chuckled. I rolled my eyes, waiting for what I was sure would be an eventful night.

I was getting pretty damn tired of being right all the time.
We went to a restaurant that was fairly near the school. It wasn’t anything special – one of those Italian, family-owned joints. I’d been there a few times before, and it was actually pretty nice.
We sat in a booth in the corner. Mom on one side, Gee and I on the other. She’d tried to convince him to sit next to her, but he said he could talk to her better from my side, and she’d blushed and fallen silent, and he took that as permission.
My boyfriend was, occasionally, a manipulative bastard.
He rested his hand on the inside of my thigh as he talked, and I barely noticed it, as odd as it sounds. I suppose it should have set alarm bells off in my head, but it didn’t. It felt so natural, so normal that he might do that, that I barely even registered it as being wrong.
“So, Gerard, you have a brother, you said?” Mom said, as the waiter put the food down in front of us. Gerard gave my thigh a little squeeze as he moved his hand so he could eat.
“Yeah, a younger one. His name’s Mikey.” He smiled.
“Oh. Is he a teacher too?” she asked. Gerard chuckled.
“Uh, no. He actually recently got out of a coma.” Gerard shrugged. I smiled at how shocked my Mom looked.
“Oh…is he alright?”
“Yeah, he’s perfectly fine. I mean, he gets a bit confused sometimes, but he’s doing well.” He smiled, and I couldn’t help the way my heart squeezed. His eyes always lit up when he was talking about Mikey.
“That’s good to hear.” Mom said lamely, clearly uncertain of what to say next.
The next few minutes were filled by a slightly awkward silence as we all ate.
“Uh, I’ll be right back.” Mom said suddenly, standing up and heading to the bathroom. As soon as she was out of sight, Gerard groaned.
“You were right. This is awkward.” He grumbled. I laughed.
“Don’t you wanna get cozy with your Mom in law?” I teased. He widened his eyes.
“Oh god. We are never getting married ever. Ever.” He said, but his mouth twitched into a smile.
“Sure. Sure.” I joked, poking his side.
“Shh. The mother hen returns.” He muttered. I rolled my eyes at him.
“Dork.” I muttered under my breath as my Mom approached the table. She sat down and smiled.
“What are we talking about?” she asked.
“The representation of women in the novel Jane Eyre, and whether or not Bronte was attempting to create feminist ideals in a society that hadn’t yet grasped the concept of an independent woman, and whether or not this attempt was overshadowed by her using a male pseudonym to publish the book under.” Gerard said quickly.
“Oh.” Mom said lamely. I looked at him, narrowing my eyes. He was so dumb sometimes.
“Uh, I was joking.” He said with a weak smile, and my heart literally melted in my chest at how abashed he looked. I squeezed his thigh and he beamed, then, remembering himself, looked down at the table, biting his lip.
“Is everything alright, Mr. Way?” Mom asked politely. He flashed her a charming smile.
“Mrs. Iero, I’ve told you many times. Just call me Gerard.” He chuckled.
“Well, Gerard. I think I told you to call me Linda.” She said, almost seductively. Oh, gross.
“I’m gay.” Gerard blurted out.
I stared at him in shock. So did my Mom. He widened his eyes and put his hands over his mouth.
“I…oh. I’m sorry?” he stammered, his face going red. Mom just stared at him. He looked at me for help, but I couldn’t think of what to say.
“I’m sort of an idiot. I’m sorry. I’ll just, ah….” He said, making to stand up.
“No! God, Gerard. It’s fine.” My Mom said with a cool smile. Funnily enough, she didn’t actually look upset at all. Disappointed, maybe, but not upset.
“I’m so sorry. I have no idea why I said that.” He stammered, loosening his tie.
“Oh, so you’re-“
“No! I mean, yes. I actually am. I just don’t know why I said it.” He said, seeming bewildered. I put my hand on his leg under the table, and actually felt the tension flowing out of him as he relaxed. Mom gave him an easy smile.
“It’s not a problem, Gerard. Frank’s gay, and I don’t mind.”
“Mom.” I groaned. Gerard beamed.
“Is he? I sort of got that vibe from him.” He said, nodding sincerely. I glared at him. Mom smiled.
“Yeah, he is. He came out to me while we were arguing, and I was sort of not surprised. Like, at all.”
“Mom, seriously.” I sighed, annoyed at how my Mom and my damn boyfriend were ganging up on me. Not fair at all.
“Aw, come on, Frankie. Gerard doesn’t mind.” She said, almost condescendingly. He put his hand over mine under the table, entwining our fingers.
“Yeah, Frank. It’s fine.” He smiled. The words ‘yeah, I know it’s fine. It was fine when I had my cock in your ass’ were literally on the edge of my tongue. It took all my willpower not to say them.
Gerard smiled patronizingly down at me, and I gave his leg a sharp kick from under the table. He hissed in pain, and I smiled innocently.
“Sorry, Mr. Way, was that your leg? I’m sorry.” I said. He glared at me, but composed his face quickly.
“Not a problem, Frank.” He said smoothly, but his hand clamped down on my thigh. I shot him a ‘don’t you fucking dare’ look, and he just shrugged innocently, his thumb rubbing softly at the inside of my thigh. I bit back a moan and smiled as my Mom spoke about something. I didn’t know or care what it was. My eyes zeroed on the self-satisfied smirk that played around Gerard’s lips, and promised myself that I’d put my dick in his mouth, and see how smug he was then.
The thought made me vaguely uncomfortable, and I shifted slightly away from Gerard.
He gave me a look that asked ‘are you okay’, and I replied with a frown that said ‘no’.
He moved his hand straight away, and instead slid it into mine, holding my fingers tightly. I sighed happily and almost leaned against him, but caught myself just in time.
He smiled a little bit and rubbed my thumb with his hand. We both pretended to listen to my Mom, but – and no offence to her – I don’t think he was listening to her any more than I was. We were too in love for anyone to break through into our little bubble.

“No, Linda, really. I should be getting home.” Gerard said with an easy smile as she tried to convince him to come home with us for coffee.
“Maybe another time, then?” she asked, smiling. It wasn’t flirty anymore, which I was thankful for, but she was still being slightly overbearing. I assumed it was so that she could tell all her friends about how attractive he was, and how good friends they were. He gave her another polite smile.
“Yes, another time, certainly.” He said softly. He turned his attention to me. His eyes were wide, and he slid his tongue out to wet his lips before replying, and I knew that he wanted to kiss me just as badly as I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to push him against the car door and claim his mouth.
But I couldn’t. So I just smiled back.
“I guess the next time I’ll see you is prom.” He sighed almost sadly. It was true, as well. Prom was a week away, but he’d requested that we didn’t talk until then – not even over the phone. For some dumb reason, I’d agreed.
Though, now that I was looking at him and feeling an ache in my chest at the prospect of no contact for a week, I couldn’t remember why I would ever agree to that.
“I guess.” I shrugged nonchalantly. He looked intensely at me for a moment, before putting his hand out. I don’t know what I expected, of course, but the movement made me feel slightly dejected.
“Congratulations, Frank.” He breathed. I put my hand in his and shook it.
“Thank you, sir.” I smiled. His hand was warm against mine, and I felt emotional at the thought that I wouldn’t get to touch him for a whole week.
He gave me a tight smile and squeezed my hand before letting it go.
“Have a good night. See you next week, Frank.” He said as he walked away, giving a half wave. I watched him go, feeling tears in my eyes. It was stupid, but I didn’t want to not talk to him. I didn’t even know why he’d asked. It was stupid. He was stupid.
“C’mon Frankie. Let’s go.” Mom murmured, leading me to the car. I gave her a forced smile and nodded, turning back one more time to glance at Gerard, but he was already gone.

Notes

I'm seeing Frank tonight and I'm literally so excited but it's also awkward because it's like "hey I've been writing about you fucking your best friend for the last couple of months lmao whats up".

It also means I've seen both halves of Frerard within six months of each other. I think that is a beautiful and magical accomplishment on my part.