Whips in passion

Hours may have passed now since Mikey has found us, I’m sitting down against the cold metallic wall my knees up to my chest staring at nothing but the empty room, all though my eye hurts like a bitch there are other painful things going on through my body, my eye can heal itself but the pain I am feeling right now in my chest is too much to bear, is this heartbreak?.
I brought my knees more closer to my chest as I hid my head between my knees trying hard to fight the sobs from escaping me, the throb in my chest as my heart beats is too much to take, I have never felt this type of emotion, I feel betrayed, alone, rejected.

I remember when I was still at school I used to see chicks literally crying their eyes out when they’re boyfriend dumped them, I remember my friend Ray, who had a crush on this chick I can remember clearly how his face fell when his crush rejected him when he asked her for a date, I guess this exactly what he felt like.

I huffed and squeezed my eyes shut as I felt a tear roll down my eye, he hate me, he fucking hates me and this is all my fucking fault, I shouldn’t have punched him like that, the person that I actually love.

Squeezing my eyes as hard as I can isn’t enough to stop the tears from flowing as I end up in a sobbing mess, the tears can’t stop my chest is aching with every breath I take, I’m feeling like someone just stabbed me right in my fucking heart, I lay myself down on the floor getting into a foetal position as I hugged my knees tighter against my chest, my eyes stinging from the amount of tears that has been flowing out.

Heaving and sobbing on my own on the metal floor, feeling like I’m dying, indeed this is what heartbreak is like, no wonder those chicks at school used to literally rip their hair out of their scalp when someone broke up with them.
Still lying down on the floor, I can her footsteps coming towards the room, the heels clicking on the concrete floor, honestly I am not ready to face Gerard not at this moment, I feel like shit, I look like shit for sure. The footsteps got closer and they came in to a halt only a few feet away from me.

“Get up” I hear Gerard’s voice his voice was stern, making my body shiver as images of him almost beating me up came flashing back infront of my eyes, I squeezed my eyes shut again and held in a desperate sob.

“I said, GET UP” Gerard yelled as I felt a pair of hands on my arm, my body being jerked up into a sitting position. I yelped my body cannot stop shivering fear flowing up and down my spine as my hands quickly hid my face.

“Pl-Please Gerard Don’-“ I choked out as his hands quickly jerked mine away from my face interrupting me as I came face to face with the person who broke my heart into tiny bits of fragments. His eyes were piercing a hole in my own sockets as we stared at each other, he scanned my black and blue bruise and frowned as his hand slowly reached my eye, my head instantly jerked away from his hand. Trust I once had it, this person infront of me held my trust but his actions quickly broke it him being this close to me and his hand reaching up to the damage he caused is too much to bear, he tried again and again I jerked away from him, there is nowhere I can actually go since my back is against the wall.

“Shhh it’s okay Frankie, I’m not going to hurt you” his voice was so soft and sincere, which made my heart break into more fractions if it was possible, he’s lying he did hurt me not only physically but even emotionally, and if I were to choose between those two I’d chosen physically over anything, this emotional train wreck I’m going through is too much to bare, this hurt much more then being kidnapped by someone and all the shit I’ve been through.

“Get away from me!” I yelled out as I felt his hands wrap around my shoulders “You’re a liar!” I shook myself away from him, and crawled away from him, he didn’t look surprise at my reaction, he scooted closer to me and proceeded to try again, I slapped his hand away from me which made him try again, as we both fought like two kids fighting over a toy, my hands slapping his away, I finally broke down again, sobbing out loudly as his hands wrapped around my waist pulling me tightly against his chest.

“I’m so sorry Frankie, I- I don’t know what’s gotten over me” he said as he rocked our bodies together, I can’t even say a word, there is too much thoughts going through my mind, I can’t believe him, I cannot trust him! He has hurt me it hurts to fucking much, I clutched my hands into his shirt as I hid my face into his chest.

“Please, Frankie forgive me, I know my words don’t mean anything to you right now, I shouldn’t have done it, I shouldn’t have laid one finger on my little baby” he said his voice filled with emotions as I felt him take a deep breath and break into his own sobs.

Us both crying like two babies into each other’s arms, it makes me feel whole yet it still hurts a lot, I want to remain in his embrace like this forever, but I know forever is never those only
happen in fairy tales and my life was never a fucking fairy tale.

I should enjoy this little moment before reality sets in and he gets rid of me, I know deep down he’s thinking that, Toni isn’t his problem anymore, that problem came in with me.

Notes