Vision

I was half asleep when I felt Gerard’s hand brush across my thigh. I jumped straight out of the bed and backed into the corner, shaking with terror. Once I regained all of my consciousness I saw Gerard sitting up in the bed, shaking his head and holding his hand out to me. At first all I could hear was my heart pounding in my ears but soon Gerard’s voice rang through.
“Chris…” he was quiet, whispering like I was a wounded animal, “Chris, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” I slid down to the floor and ran my hands through my hair. “Chris…” I heard Gerard climb off the bed and soon enough he was kneeling next to me.
“I’m sorry Gerard. It was just, I was half asleep and all I could think was that it was Brendon.” Gerard wrapped his arms around me and kissed my cheek gently.
“Come on, let’s get you back into the bed, I promise it will only be me with you.” He held one arm around me as I walked back to the bed, when he climbed in next to me I curled right into his side and held one of his hands. He was still at first, not sure how to react to the situation but he soon relaxed and rested his head on mine. Despite me being the same height as him, I fit perfectly in his arms and I felt like I was home.
“Gerard?”
“Yeah?”
“Can…can I talk about what happened? I just don’t want to have it stuck inside of me, it’s killing me…”
“Of course, tell me anything.”
“I didn’t know what was going on really, I just remember I woke up and the room smelled like sweat and alcohol, he was still drunk. I told him to go back to bed but he wouldn’t listen to me…he said that you didn’t deserve me, I don’t know how he even knew about that. I was so confused and the next thing I knew he was on top of me. He was kissing me everywhere, my neck, and collarbone, face… lips. He was pulling my hair and holding my mouth shut when he wasn’t kissing it. He forced me to be close to him, he held my back up with his arm and dug his nails into my skin. I was so terrified. Then he…he took off the pants I was wearing, I was paralyzed, all I could think was, someone fucking save me. I was just running on adrenaline and instinct, I kneed him in the leg and ran. I didn’t know where you were so I screamed. I felt so guilty, like I had been the one forcing myself on him. I’m so sorry Gerard.” I was sobbing, shaking in Gerard’s arms with each cry. I felt so weak, always crying and needing to be protected. I tried to slow down my breathing and stop crying. I decided I wasn’t going to be weak anymore. I was going to find Brendon and tell him exactly how I felt, but first, I had something more important to do. I held Gerard’s hand tightly as I calmed down my breathing, with him running his fingers through my hair in a soothing manner.
“Thank you Gerard.” I kissed his cheek and sat up, running my fingers through my hair; I hope I wasn’t going to regret this.
Without another thought I put both my hands on his chest and straddled him with my knees, not holding him in place, more just feeling him, making it real that he was here with me. I rubbed my hands up his chest and left them on his shoulders as I leaned down onto him so our chests were together. He had always been the one kissing me; the first time we kissed, and then after I passed out, he always started it, but that was about to change.
I kissed him hard on the mouth before trailing down to his neck and sucking hard on one spot. I heard him moaning quietly, trying to hold it in so Patrick wouldn’t hear.
“Chris…oh fuck.” He continued moaning until I let go of his neck and rested my forehead on his. Before I could stop him, he flipped me off of him and onto my back before climbing on top of me, switching our places; he kissed my lips roughly and trailed his lips all over my neck.
“You naughty girl.” He growled, “I think we’re going to have to teach you a lesson.”

Notes

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